I walked back and forth before these disturbing things, imagining to be in his shoes. My heart was pounding and I finally gave up what remained me of restraint. I went to get the stainless steel basin, the one that was going to receive his excretions, I labelled it with his name, filled it with the sterile packages of nozzles and tubes, the two speculums in transparent zipped bags, and I put the whole on the small cabinet under the washbasin.

It was impossible not to note it from the toilet bowl.. I wondered what someone else would think seeing this. Is that really for him? Why the need of all this? What's wrong with him? Everyone would ask themselves those questions. I figured out the situation, and I pretended responding to someone real, picturing that he was here too.

"Yes, it's really for him.. he has an anal problem. False urges, erections when he's penetrated, he dosen't control his needs or on the contrary can't manage to excrete. I even had to help him to go! It is pretty concerning and I take it very seriously. He needs to be examined and I have to accustom him to push. I know, some of the equipment may seem impressive. Unfortunately they are what I opted for him."

I am sending my account now because we are leaving for three weeks and I will be without connection from the end of April. I take a few gloves and a tube of lube with me, with soap sticks (for hiking) that I just received and an inflater for the night. I will post the following if I have requests. Well, it depends on the judgments I will receive.

I said that we really needed to know what was going on. I announced that I would need instruments for this and that he would need to let me do.. The idea of ​​putting him a speculum gave me an adrenaline rush. When I spoke about retractors he started to be very anxious and he asked me just why. He wanted to know if there was not another way to do it. I told him that with X-rays there was no need to go inside but that I personally preferred that method.

He was distraught. He clung to the idea of ​​X-rays and wanted to know why we would not simply choose that. I told him some more random things, like because we started like this, and that now it was too late, that I had already chosen..

He was so confused. I told him that I understood he was nervous but that he would nevertheless be examined this way. I had now three good reasons to justify it and I named them to him: the monitoring of his prostate, finding the cause of his erections and teaching him to control his needs.

He resigned himself and I told him that it was for his own good. I said we had to finish the night, I took my cream and my gloves, kissed him and went out. As I walked to my room I felt scandalous. How far would that lead me? I realized that the next step, buying material to set up sessions, went beyond a simple impulse. I fell asleep reassured to have had a wise thought.

In the morning I was no more sure of anything. I was seeing my son's anxiety when he suddenly pulled me out of my thoughts. "When are you going to use instruments?" It made me feel like an electric shock. He don't asked if I was going to do it, but when! The runaway train in my head got back on the rails.

I answered without thinking. "Soon honey, I have first to choose them." He went to school and his question turned in my head. When? I imagined what he was feeling. "Mom will investigate me. She is going to spread me with instruments." Of course I was going to do it! My poor bit of restraint was already flying away.

I took my keys, my wallet and I left for the pharmacy. I felt unfair doing it while he was at school but I loved that feeling. I started to switch the painting gloves for real examination gloves and the moisturizer with medical lubricant.

Then came the matter of the speculum. I did not know how to make my request. I explained that it was for a tinkering, to help my son to fill balloons.. I don't know if it was credible but all I saw was a plastic one, of average size. I was not enthusiastic at all but I took it as it was was the only model on sale.

I came home disappointed. Do I had to be happy with this plastic thing that could even harm if it broke? I wanted something more suitable and I decided to see what I could find online. And there I came across unexpected things! There was something for everyone. And I arrived after a while where I was the most enthralled.

It was a medical supply site. I went to the gastroenterology section and there I found myself like in a candy shop. Stainless steel everywhere, and what I would call beautiful objects. It was quite expensive, but really something else than my wretched single-use speculum. It was not even going to be used! I stopped my research and created my account on the spot. My fingers got in a muddle on the keyboard as I was like in a fever

I ordered two very technical ones, specifically made for the anus. The most expensive, of radial type, was a kind of long cylinder with multiple blades overlapping each other and opening somewhat like a camera lens, and a four way expander, bigger, which opens in an inverted cone shape. It is an assembly of four sort of "spoons" with a deployment in a V that act rather over the rectal walls than the anal area.

He started stressing when he saw what I had brought with me. My cream and another pair of gloves.. He was so disoriented that he even asked me if it was for him. It made me laugh and I resumed my seriousness to tell him that it had to be examined as soon as possible. Actually right now. He looked lost, he wanted to know if I was going to do the same than before. I told him yes, that because of his erection I had to do it.

His mouth was dry as he watched me put on a glove and I loved to see the impact it has on him. Though I went to explain it he claimed it was not necessary but I replied that it was just essential now that I had discovered this problem. He kept to argue knowing what was awaiting him and I enjoyed to see him trying to change my mind.

I asked him to lower his pajama pants and briefs while I put on the other glove. He told me that at first I had just to help him to go to the bathroom and that now he no longer needed it. Then I replied that not being able to go was also concerning and that he really needed to be checked. He was already red knowing what was about to happen and I began to feel my panties to glue. This moment was full of emotion. We got up during the night and met for that. I was feverish and shaking so much that I struggled to open my jar of cream.

I finally protected the bed with a towel and squatted. It was the last moment to give up my act this time intentional and I stopped thinking of what I was about to do. Then I raised his legs, held them against his chest and entered.

I probed him again. Gently but deeply. He was very supple and after a few movements I started again with two fingers. I think the index and middle finger together have a different dimension, I perceive better and it gives me the impression to be able to do more than with just one finger. The reactions quickly arrived, his breath became stronger and he began to push. Then came moans, farts and erection.

He was completely rigid again and I pointed it out. "See, I knew there was a problem!" I asked him to tell me what he felt because I had to know the reason for his erections. I properly massaged his rectum and the effects were obvious but I wanted to hear him talk, right when it was happening. He kept saying that he felt spreaded and that he wished to push out my fingers.

I asked him to do it letting my hand go. When he got almost all the length of my fingers out I pushed them back in his rectum and asked him to start over. After a dozen times of this I resumed my massage so that he could tell me again what he felt. There were more sighs than words and I began to be firmer. I wanted to hear him stammer, stop in the middle of a sentence, see his hesitations and embarrassment.

He was pushing more and more, and like the day before, diarrhea began to seep on my glove. I asked him if it did like when he had to go to the bathroom. He said yes, and my next question gave me a vaginal contraction. I no longer recognized myself! "When you have to do what?" His expression at that moment remains engraved in my memory. He looked at me as if I had spoken in an unknown language.

He didn't dare to answer and I rephrased my question with delight. "You say my fingers make you want to go to the bathroom, but to do what?" He managed to give me his answer with enormous embarrassment. I liked that so much. I just wanted to continue. "And would you like to go now?" He said yes and I removed my fingers. "Go ahead, do it here! Maybe I could see something that reveals."

Of course he was disconcerted but I told him that I also wanted to see how he manage on the toilet. He hesitated for a long time and finally began to push voluntarily. I saw his anus well out but almost nothing was coming out. I told him that there was a serious problem because in addition to the erections he did not control his needs either. "You can't do when you need and you go over my fingers when I try to help you.."

Without thinking, I told him I had to see if it remained something in his rear. In fact I just wanted to start over. I put some cream back and entered again. His sigh made me realize how I really wanted to, I went pretty deeply right away.. I was carried away by what was happening and I started to probe him, this time looking at his face.

I told him there was more, but deeper. As I had made room and I was limited by the length of my finger, I came out and joined my middle finger. I went slowly but I saw his mouth open as he looked at me while I proceeded. I could not refrain from raising my eyebrows.. "Oops, it's suddenly bigger, is it?" I told him he had a funny look and asked if I hurted him. He said no, but that "it took too much space".

I liked his answer, I was not trying to hurt but I wanted him to feel my fingers well. He was very flexible and I felt much better introduced. I really could go further and I started to make wide circles. I could hear him breathing at times. I asked what was going on knowing it was because of the doubled width and the extra length.

Massaging him with two fingers seemed to further strengthen his erection. He was red just like a tomato and I think I was too. It made me sick and I began to search more firmly. My movements stimulated his expulsion reflex and he couldn't stop pushing. While he was in full effort, I suddenly saw a sticky thread dangling from his penis. It made me frantic and I accentuated my movements telling him that his stick was squarely "drooling".

I wanted to embarrass him even more with remarks. "Are you possibly messy at that point?" I continued my rotations making short sentences because I was breathless and it was noticeable. "I didn't know a boy could be so dirty, how can you behave like that?" He didn't answer. "Hmm? Tell me.." I insisted knowing how uncomfortable he felt. "Is it because you have something into your bottom that you're so stiff?"

He continued to push without being able to speak. I wanted to force him to answer. "So what is it? Is it mommy's fingers that cause this to you? Is it when she turns, like that?" In the midst of the effort he succeeded in articulating a "Yhess" that made me laugh. But I liked to hear that, with that very low voice, pushing on my fingers and the red on cheeks.

I asked him if he was not ashamed. His stiffness and his string of secretions incited me to almost mistreat him. While I was "working" on him I suddenly saw a brown liquid leaking at the hollow of my palm. By dint of pushing, he was producing premature faeces. I ended hand full of poo and my panties soaked. It was the trigger of everything that was to follow.

I don't ask for morals, I know I'm disgraceful and in describing this I don't expect compassion, advice nor do I encourage my example. I just need to share it, maybe just not to be alone with this secret?

That night was sleepless, I fondled myself without being able to think of anything else. I dressed in shaking and I went like a robot straight to his room. I woke him up and he asked me if it was already the morning. I said no, that it was in fact the night, but that I had something important to say to him.

I remembered him his erection and I immediately saw his embarrassment. I said it was a problem, maybe even a serious one, and I told him about the prostate. He was not of age to understand but to explain something real gave me a kind of good conscience. I told him that boys have a special gland into their rear and that we would have to check it because his erection might come from there.

Please forgive my poor wording, my native language is French but I found nowhere to post this on a french speaking site. Then I found out Wordreference and I decided to write my account in English but you might still read some weird sentences.

My name is Sonia, I am a young mother and I live alone with my son since a decade now. His father left me when he learned I was pregnant and I managed with all the difficulties of being a single parent.

I made quite a few sacrifices to do the job alone, and of course I wanted my son to have both his parents, but the situation is now not at all the same anymore. Today I am glad to have escaped from marriage, but I also receive a strange reward.

I do not know if having all the authority and be the only witness at home have something to do with it but I let myself be won by a kind of deviance. I use my son to satisfy a perversion that has taken more and more place. I'm kind of nice, and I would say it's not difficult because my boy is a real angel, but I also have a hidden side and I use him to satisfy a shameless pleasure. I do not "hurt" him but since 2 years I submit him to procedures that I hypocritically pass for a necessity: medical examinations.

These are not exams to play. They have become more and more demanding, mainly because of the effects they cause and which have led me to go further and further. And there is the complete docility of my son, which I maintain by his shame. I made him enter in a vicious circle that I perpetuate; his reactions are the cause of my auscultations, which engender again these reactions. It is rather sly but unstoppable. I justify my examinations by the effects it has on him, which are the cause of new interventions..

It all started with a severe constipation and a stool that I had to "go for" one day. He came telling me that he could not get it out and despite my encouragement and several attempts nothing happened. I later saw that it was so dehydrated that it adhered too much to be evacuated normally. I finally made up my mind to help him "manually".

I asked him to pull down his clothes and wait for me on the living room couch while I fetched a moisturizer and a pair of gloves sold with children's paint. I put them on with difficulty and made him lie on his back. I lubricated my index finger, raised his legs and I slowly entered until I felt something.

It had not been easy, his faece was hard and plated all around. I had the idea to rotate it to try to make it move but that pushed it just farther. I then insinuated my finger on the side to try to hang it. I had to struggle to get through while he was breathing jerkily. I put my finger in a hook and I heard a big sigh. My finger was stretching his sphincter in this position and I was pushing at the same time on the side to have an anchorage.

I started to pull and it slowly came out in the middle of moanings. The piece then detached itself from the rest and I had to start again, in all I went back four times to take it fully out. My son was pushing more and more, which actually helped me but he continued while I felt nothing more. I tried to search all around and deeper if there was still something to remove but it only made him push, by the way so much that his head was rising.

Then I had a big surprise. His face was all red and he was trying to hide his crotch. That's when I saw he had an erection! It was an almost unreal situation, full of interdictions. What I had done, his erection, his shame.. and I do not know why but I liked it. And I wanted to add something more. I asked him why he had his little stick all stiff. He was really embarrassed that I talked about this and was trying to hide himself as best as he could.

My gaze passed from his face to his abdomen. I was aroused and wanted to accentuate even more his shame.. "Don't you know that it's dirty to be all hard like this?" He did not say anything, looking at me red to the ears and it gave me a kind of drunkenness.

My account