I'm a 32 year old and I have a pet cat. Here's the thing. I'm sitting in the kitchen, around 3 or 4 this morning, having a little early morning spankadoo with the breakfast, over some shit on the television I was a watching. So there I am, eraly in the morning, just minding my cereal and my television, and my chair and my little table in my kitchen. So get this right. This fucking cat, this cat that I mentioned earlier. Well this cat, this cat's name is Bussie, right. So Bussie comes in meowing at me and shit whilst I'm thinking I might want to get me fap on over the lady telling me about the herbal pills, right. I'm eatin my cereal, right. Minin me business, me and me cereal. I sits there and Bussie comes in and says, Bussie says, hey, meow I'm hungry meow meow. So I says to Bussie I says, Not now bussie I'm thinkin me of a right fapping dont you see? Bussie look I'm pants down teasin the ballsack and you want to come here talkin bout meow I need water meow that. I don't know what it is bussie wants from a shit lined shoe, right. So I find me the lobster that I had for meself and the tummy tumm after me work ended 'round 11 the previous night, right. So bussie looks at me like I dunno wat this is, meow meow some shit, right. So I faps in his eye, right. Then I finished my cereal and cried a little bit, but not that much. Bussie says to me, "i squoze the faarrrrmmmwax - and he says that word all long and drawn out with a bit of his meow voice, right. Farrrrmmmwax. I says whats the farmwax Bussie and pass me the aspirin. We make love for months, right. Farmwax, I don't know what he meant by that, but I did cry. The crazy thing was, the whole time all this happened, over the course o three say four o so months, right, the same Alice in Chains song had been playing over and over. And over, for like months right. So thats something to think about right. When did they release farmwax or do i have the wrong band? I bloody hope not if so Bussies gonna 'et it 'onite.
Replies 5
1
03 Jun 2011 11:54PM
What the fuck was just said? I barely understood any of it but from what I could interpret, sounded like win.
1
04 Jun 2011 7:01AM
what the actual fuck. that made literally no sense whatsoever. Your apparent lack of understanding of the English language combined with the heavy use of if I'm not mistaken is cockney slang made this a thoroughly enjoyable and laugh-worthy read.
five stars, sir.
