I confess that I go through phases of sexual mania—during which I seek out people who will let me send them pictures of my spread asshole, or licking up/drinking my own piss, dry-fingering my asshole and licking/sucking the shit off of it, or using a piece of it to hold in my mouth. I once completed a dare to piss in to a shot glass, clip off some pubes to top-off the shot glass and drink. If i wanted to get the hair out of my teeth, my only option was to take another shot of piss. I snap out of these manic episodes and feel deep shame, but it keeps happening anyway.
I have pissed all over my hands and licked them clean. I have fucked my ass with a plunger handle. I have laid my tongue flat on the rim of a dirty toilet. I have put toothpaste in my asshole and let someone watch me squirm as I let it burn and burn, fingering and adding more toothpaste all the while, and eventually putting my toothbrush in my asshole and brushing my teeth with it until the burning stopped.
I fantasize about my s/o one day admitting to me that he wants to piss in my mouth. I’d let him—I’d probably gag, but if he did it just a little bit at a time and pinched my nose I could probably do it.
I’ve only been fucked in the ass once, and it was by him. I want him to do it again, but rougher. I want to be laid on my stomach and tied down, fully spread, as far as my body is able to go. I want him to whip my ass with his belt until I cry, and I want him to then lick and finger fuck my asshole. I want him to periodically shove his fingers down my throat when more lube is needed so I can clean his fingers. And I want him to slip his cock in and fuck me until he cums. I want him to make me lick his cock clean.
Today, I think I’m going to get a rubber band and snap it on my asshole repeatedly while I’m on break. I want to be aware of how my asshole feels for the rest of the day. I need to get a buttplug to wear to work.
