Here's my confession. My wife was raped a couple year into our marriage. It was a single guy breaking and entering. We don't know if he knew anyone was home or not. But either way, when she came down stairs thinking it was me, he pounced. He threatened her life with a gun, which pretty much shut her up and kept her compliant. He had her take him to the bedroom where he forced himself on her. At that point she started to fight, thinking she was going to die anyway. He beat her pretty bad, and just flat over powered her.
When he was done, he threw her in the shower and told her if she turned off the water or came out he would kill her. I came home and found her there, curled up in a ball under freezing cold water. We still don't know how long she was in there, but we think it was around an hour or so before I came home. The shower ruined pretty much any chance we had at any sort of DNA match. They did the kit thing anyway, and never had any matches. She was, however, left with gonorrhea. Thank God it's curable. But, it did add to the physical and emotional struggle she had in the aftermath.
She sought out counseling afterward. Shortly after I joined her in counseling as we noticed it was impacted more than just her. It was nearly 2 years after before we even attempted sex again. She just wasn't ready before that, and I wasn't going to rush her. And, before you question whether I was faithful, let me tell you - I was. I love my wife, and would NEVER betray like that. I'm not saying cheating is the worst thing in the world, but cheating on your wife that was raped, that's pretty low.
Anyway, fast-forward to about 2.25 years post-incident: our current therapist is relocating, and recommends us to a new therapist. He's relatively new, but had personal or family connections to the therapist we were seeing, so we took the referral. By the time we were seeing him, the issues we were really still having at that point were sexual in nature. More-so hers. She was in a place where she was able to cope with what had happened, but our sex life had suffered tremendously. After a couple sessions he brashly recommend that she reenact the rape. I thought this sounded fucking insane, and quickly protested. She wasn't too keen on the idea either. But, by the next session she told me she wanted to give it a shot, and after much persuasion I finally gave in.
She set the ground rules. She didn't want to know exactly when it was going to happen, but she stated what could and could happen. As well as things that should and shouldn't happen. She wanted it as close to the event as she could. The more she described what she wanted, the more turned off to this whole idea I became.
But, after about another week I decided to just go for it. I worked myself up in my head, got myself in that mentality, told myself I was doing this for her - and set the stage. I had a relative watch our kids for the weekend, and I waited for the second night. I took off work, but told her I was going to work. When I doubled back an hour later and proceeded with the reenactment, it was on.
I'm normally a laid back, somewhat passive guy. But for some reason I just snapped into this crazy mind set. It was pretty brutal. Obviously my wife knew it was me (no face masks was one rule), but personality-wize she would not have known it was me. I got what I thought was way to rough. I pulled her hair, threw her down. Smacked her repeatedly, and even punched her in her stomach a few times. There were a few moments I considered stopping, and to be honest a few moments I almost threw up thinking about what I was doing. But I kept going. After I was able to subdue her I moved on to fucking And she did actually put up a crazy amount of fight. I had to work to keep her pinned down. When I started fucking her, I fucked her so hard and fast. It was so overwhelming for me I came way quicker than I thought I would. What normally takes me 20-25 minutes took me about 5 of serious hard pounding.
I came inside her, and she just melted. She wrapped her whole body around me, and held me so tight. I collapsed on top of her. She kept whispering "thank you. thank you. thank you." And started saying "I came. OK, just want you to know. Fuck I came." It was massively intense.
We didn't go back to the therapist for about a month. But when we finally decided to schedule a follow-up with him, we learned that he had been shut down, and was under investigation. Apparently, in the short time that this guy was a shrink, he had exploited several women. He utilized his position to get them to do things, or to identify easy targets for him to pressure into sexual favors. He ended up losing his license to practice, and ended up serving a couple years in jail. He got a pretty good plea bargain though.
Anyway, since then, my wife will ask me for this a few times a year. I used to hate the idea - before I tried it the first time. Now, I'm fucking hooked. I would never really rape someone. I know the emotional carnage that happens afterward. But a forced sex fantasy - one of the hottest things in the world. She wants to step it up now, and possibly try with a stranger or a close friend. She would prefer a close friend, but we don't know how to exactly approach that with anyone we know. She's also told me I should seek out another woman that has the same fantasy. She's told a few of her friends about what we do, to see if any bite on the bait. Unfortunately none have. But she said if any do, she would give me full permission to "let them see just how amazing that can be."
I don't want you all to think this is my way of exploiting my wife getting raped. Seriously, there was years of emotional damage to both of us. But, I will admit - our sex life has NEVER been better. Yes, I trully think we could have discovered forced sex fantasy without her getting raped, and probably be in the same position that we're in now. But this was our path. So, I guess I'll take it.
Anyone else lucky enough to have a wife or GF into forced sex fantasy? Or any guys actually do this? Like through Craigslist. I always see the ads.
