Finding Daddy in a Good Girl
Hello, Everyone,
From the first person, so a lot of I me my... Am working through a painful D/s breakup and was hoping this would help others, so you're the I me my.
After the blind-siding end of a second long-term DD/lg relationship-- the first a 10-year marriage (not surprising), the last a 10-month 24/7 LDR (breathtakingly surprising. Does 10 months count as long-term?)-- and finding once again that I was moaning about passive-aggressive, narcissistic pussies who THINK they're Daddy Doms but are really submissive cowards, I made myself very quiet and asked myself exactly what I thought a good Daddy was.
As a result, instead of moaning some more, crying into my pillow, or sending him a bajillion texts asking him why he was being such a cunt and letting him talk me back into the relationship (or, rather, manipulate me into talking myself back into the relationship), I went out on a tear (thank God for New Orleans), sloshed home to create a FetLife account, joined some relevant groups, contacted a couple of local people who seemed like they knew their way around the scene, and read myself back into soberville for almost 24 hours straight. And then, I started a list of the qualities I thought were essential in a Daddy Dom.
The list of words became fairly lengthy, so I started a taxonomy and they ended up fitting into groups of three. I'm sure the information architect in me (yes, I'm a geek, shut up.) will further categorize these groups, but it just began to seem... I don't know, lyrical. And then, the word, "compassionate" started resonating. First, my eyes were drawn again and again to that 13-letter composition, and then the sound of its 4 syllables echoed fluidly in my head like water moving, and finally that reciprocal beating of the rhythm of the word with my heart that happens when my body's trying to tell me something began.
It occurred to me that it might be the little girl in me that was trying to soften toward him again after he betrayed my trust for the 4th time in as many months. But no, that softening wasn't happening this time (and still isn't, thank you very much). While thinking about this, the question, "What exactly is a Good Girl?" started whispering, and a new list began. And, guess what?
The lists are virtually identical.
To an independent, perceptive, dominant woman in all other aspects of life, this shouldn't have been the epiphany that it was. How could a woman who prides herself on her unerring spidey sense and strength of character be suckered in by not one, but two men of low character who manipulated the very D/s abandon that led her to them initially?
And that's when I realized that compassion wasn't supposed to be reserved solely for others. Unless you consider the little girl inside of a strong woman to be other. And, I don't anymore. That little girl, I, deserve(s) the same compassion, forgiveness and understanding as Daddy does. A Good Girl requires a Daddy with a strength of character to match her own. Even if that requisite reciprocity comes from being her own Daddy while she searches for the man who truly deserves and appreciates her considerable love, power and control.
So, sit tight, little girl. You've got everything you need in the interim.
Here are the lists, if you're interested:
Daddy Is (1) The Law Of Threes:
https://fetlife.com/users/1864710/posts/1228667]
A Good Girl Is (1) The Law Of Threes:
https://fetlife.com/users/1864710/posts/1229514]
XOXOX,
Rain
