i would have given anything, to be her everything.
there was nothing, that i wasn't ready to do, to show her.
i took pride in her smiles, because it meant that, for a few seconds, she was happy.
i was the funny guy, that always wanted to help her forget her worries, even if it was only for a couple hours.
but she, this angel in my eyes, was fixed on another man, who treated her like shit.
she, couldnt take her eyes off of him, and she could only see a slim chance at happiness with him, but she would take it.
for years i would watch the cycle repeat, countless times.
break-up, make-up, happy, sad, mad, suspicious, break-up, repeat.
i wanted to stop it, i wanted her to be happy, and not stuck in a cycle she thought she could break. definition of insanity, and i thought i was insane for trying, maybe i was.
ofcourse i would always wait until they were broken up before i would even hint at the possibility. i couldnt do the same thing i did before, to start up a relationship with her, it didnt end well before so why try the same thing?
she wasnt interested, so instead, i played the friend, i didnt mind. so long as i could get her to smile and laugh while she was with me, i could take that and be alright with it. i would take her out to movies and what not, as a friend (idk if she thought they were dates, but in my eyes they werent).
days passed, and it started up again.... the cycle... i cried, i truly cried. because it was insane, and i knew she wouldnt change her mind.
so, after that, i left the scene. i told her my thoughts, she told me hers, mine weren't lies, but im sure her's were.
i would not sit and watch her go through the cycle again, only to come out with the same answers and same questions.
to this day, i still love her, but i will not go back just to see i was right.
even if i am wrong, i loved her for who she was. i would only stay in love with her until she found the next guy she thought was good enough, and i would be forced to leave due to the sight of her being intimate with someone else.
i want her to be happy, if i cant give that to her (she tells me i cant), then i will leave it up to someone else, and when i know they're good, i will always leave.
if i didnt, i would only get inbetween them. i dont want her to see me, as someone who doesnt want her to be happy.
maybe one day i'll look back and say "hey, this bitch wasnt worth it".
It's what i hope for
i will stay anonymous, because she also has a motherless acc.
will she see this? highly doubtful.
even if she did, she wouldnt contact me over this and i have her blocked on fb.
