I have one really weird fantasy. I arrange a meeting with a femdom and the course of the meeting. I know what awaits me. This part before I get to her, is the most exciting part of all. I feel a lot of excitement and fear because i know what is going to happen. When I get to her, she immediately ties me to a table, bed or floor. She makes me ejaculate.
 At this point, I am sorry and aware of the mistake I made. It’s that second part of the fantasy when where begins the non-consensual part of the session. Now, she starts his work. She starts torturing me with electricity, smothering me with a plastic bag or hand, sitting on my face so I can’t breathe, waterboarding. I beg her for mercy, I beg her to stop, I changed my mind. I will do anything to stop it. But she just laughs and goes on. I got what i wanted.

My wife of 23 years is an uncannily sexy woman. She’s 5 feet tall and weighs around 110lbs, and has a 32C-21-36 body with a “JLo” ass. Her creamy skin, auburn hair and big almond shaped green eyes make me feel like a fortunate man after all these years.

Eleven years ago we visited her older sister and brother-in-law for the Thanksgiving holiday which is our normal custom. The sisters have a close relationship and we visit four or five times a year between our home and theirs. They have a son, who was fifteen and a virgin at the time. From the time my nephew was six years old he had a fascination with my wife; they wrestled and played rough constantly to the point that it became so commonplace that everyone in the family would smile, shake their heads or just roll their eyes with a “there they go again” attitude.
As our nephew entered his teens my wife mentioned to me in a joking way on several occasions that the play seemed to be taking a more sexual turn. She thought he was taking the opportunity to explore her body through her clothes and at times grinding his dick into my wife’s ass. I told her that if she thought this was the case she should stop it. My wife would just chuckle and say that it was nothing – he was just a kid.
On one occasion he waited until his dad was working the night shift and my wife was in a short nightshirt and panties to launch an “attack” He was fifteen and playing baseball, therefore strong and rather fit. My nephew caught his aunt leaving his mother’s bathroom while my sister-in-law and I were in the kitchen talking. Clad only in his boxers he caught my wife around the waist and tossed her on his parents` king-sized bed. He immediately crawled on top of her pressing his hard erection squarely on my wife’s bikini covered pussy while holding her down and playfully biting her neck and shoulders, my wife tried to throw him off. She kept hissing at him to get off of her, but he kept on, now moving his hips against her crotch. His erection, now hard and big, was pushing against her pussy.
He was really getting into it, dry-fucking his aunt was driving him crazy. The heated friction on my wife’s clit was sending sensations through her body and making her pussy very wet.
Once again she told him to stop, but this time in a low, firm voice. He was too big, way too strong for her to force him off her.
“No!” He said in a choking voice, “Please no, I can’t” He was now thrusting between his aunt’s shapely legs; she could feel his dick swell against her now sopping cunt. Burying his face in my wife’s neck he ground his hips into her crotch. His aunt’s grapefruit sized tits were mashed against his chest as his cock exploded, soaking the two of them with torrent after torrent of teenage cum. He pushed his upper body up as he ground his hips in a circular motion mashing his spasming cock on my wife’s pubic bone, squeezing out every bit of jism.
When he finished, he got off my wife and without a word to her left the room and went into his own room, shutting the door behind him.
A few minutes had passed when I entered the guest bedroom and found my wife sitting naked on the side of the bed, holding her completely soaked panties.

“What’s going on?” I asked as I shut the door.
“Basically,” she said in a low voice as she looked up at me, “our nephew fucked the shit out of me.” As she said this she handed the funky panties to me.
“What the hell are you talking about?” I was shocked. I took the panties, feeling their soppiness and smelling the unmistakable aroma of male cum and my wife’s juices. Numb. I tossed them in our dirty clothes bag as my wife said in a voice barely above a whisper:
“I had an orgasm. My nephew was fucking me hard through our underwear and I orgasmed as I felt him cum. What is wrong with me?”
She was sitting beside the bedside table with the lamp on. It was the only light on in the bedroom causing a soft glow to fall over my wife’s partially open legs. Her inner thighs and nearly bare crotch glistened.
“Nothing baby, it wasn`t intentional. You never meant it to happen but it did. He isn’t going to say anything and I don’t think you should. You can get him alone tomorrow and talk to him.” I was trying my best to be sensible but the image before me and the knowledge of what happened affected me in a weirdly erotic way. My wife looked up at me through her thick shoulder length hair. Her eyes were wide and for the first time it dawned on me that she was so aroused she was beside herself. She took my hands and roughly pulled me down on top of her. We couldn’t get my clothes off fast enough. Once undressed my wife climbed on top of me and in a voice that I barely recognized said:
“I want to fuck you.”
She did.

My nephew said little when my wife pulled him into the guest bedroom the next morning and told him she truly loved him but what happened the previous night could not happen again. She assured him she would never say anything to his parents. He thanked her and left the room.

It didn’t happen again. For nearly two years the play between them was less frequent and much more platonic. His parents even remarked to us in a summer visit to our home that they thought their son was “growing out” of the rough play.

My wife and I have never had children, so on our nephew’s birthday we always drive to my sister-in-law’s house for his party. He was now seventeen and the party was attended by twenty or so high school kids and we adults worked our asses off to host a successful event. I noticed on several occasions my nephew looking at my wife hungrily when he thought no one was looking. I saw it and it was obvious to me he was undressing her with his eyes and fucking her with his mind. It was no wonder. My wife was barefoot wearing thin, low riding white shorts and a yellow tank that in the early August sun clung to her tits from her sweat. It was an outdoor party in my sister-in-law’s big landscaped backyard.
I caught my wife inside as she was getting a platter of sliced tomatoes.
“Hey hon, ______ is ‘jonesing’ for you.”
“What?” she said partly shocked and partly embarrassed, “Baby, that’s in the past don’t bring that shit up now.”
“So you noticed?” I asked.
“Yes, of course but that was then, nothing has happened since. It’s alright.”

With that, she went back outside.

It was very late when the last of my nephew’s friends left. My wife had showered and was in the guest bedroom preparing for bed. I was in the bathroom across the hall taking my shower while my nephew and his parents had gone to bed. Or so I thought.

I finished my shower and went about my nightly routine of drying off, brushing my teeth and pulling on a pair of boxer-briefs. I opened the door of the bathroom and stepped into the hall. I could hear the sound of hushed, emotional voices and of weight shifting and moving on the bed in our room. I stepped to the door and realized it was barely shut. I pushed it open a bit; I don’t know why I didn’t just shove it open and enter the bedroom.
My nephew was lying on top of my wife, his hips between her legs. Her beautiful legs were spread wide bur her hands were on his shoulders holding him at bay, He was naked and a towel lay on the floor beside the bed. My wife was topless, her round breasts completely exposed but she still had her little panties on.

“Please Aunt _____, let me do it to you just this once.” He was speaking in a low whisper, “Everything was cool when it happened last time, I want you so bad.”

“No _______, we can`t!” My wife answered, “This shit is evil. Last time it was a situation that got out of hand, this is different. If your parents found out it would tear them apart and this whole family”

“Who has to know? No one found out last time, please. I haven’t been with a girl since that happened and no one found out then and no one will find out now!”

“Your uncle is across the hall so get off of me goddamnit!” My wife hissed.

“He’s taking a shower and he’s always in there for ages. Please Aunt _____ I want to fuck you for real.”

My nephew wrapped his arms under my wife and cupped her ass in his hands as he took her neck in her mouth and his round muscled butt began to move between her legs, rubbing his dick on his aunt’s crotch.
At this point I was about to push the door open and intervene when I heard a soft but distinctive moan emanate from my wife’s mouth. A knot seemed to grip my gut that stopped me cold. The bedside lamp was the only light on in the room as I saw a tangible surrender sweep over my wife; her hands pressed into his back and her legs curled around his thighs. He covered her mouth with his in a deep kiss. His left hand gripped her panties and pushed them over her flared hips, down her legs, tossing them on the floor.
Gripping her waist he turned my wife on top of him and moved her up to where he could take her left breast into his mouth and suck it. Her hands were on either side of his head as he nibbled tongued and sucked first the left then the right nipple. My wife groaned, lifting her head up in pleasure she saw my reflection in the dressing table mirror just across from her and directly opposite the door. We locked eyes and something happened. An eerie eroticism was palatable between us. In that moment she knew that if she wanted to fuck our nephew she could to her lust’s content. I would allow it and would be fine.
She did.

My nephew kissed and sucked my wife’s tits like it was a rare treat. Holding her asscheeks he moved his right hand to her moist pussy and eased his middle finger into her, gently moving it around. She moaned as she moved her ass back on his hand, encouraging him to push deeper.

Our nephew was the starting first baseman on his high school baseball team and his body showed it. He was 5’10” and in excellent shape. His dick was at full mast and rubbing against my wife’s upper right thigh, it had to be every bit of eight inches but what struck me was its thickness. I was a bit over eight and a half but he was thicker than me by half.
I was rock hard and without thinking my right hand went into my shorts, gripping my cock.

My wife slowly moved down her nephew’s body kissing and licking, her hair draping over him as she took his dick into her left hand.

“Oh fuck _______, you have a really nice dick.” She took him in her mouth, tickling his balls with her fingernails.

She sucked him. Her head bobbed slowly up and down, making light slurping noises.
It was his turn to groan. In no time he took her head in both his hands as his hips moved up and down in rhythm to the one blowjob he would remember for the rest of his life.
This was incredible. My gorgeous wife’s ass was sticking up in the air as she knelt on the bed sucking off her big sister’s son. I knew that soon he would cum in her mouth and she would swallow it. She loved to swallow my wad, she would his.

He thrust his hips up and pumped his cum into her mouth as her held her head tightly, gripping her hair. My wife put her left middle finger into his anus and massaged, sending him over the edge. He grunted rather loud but I didn’t care, I was taking this in while stroking my own dick. She swallowed nearly all of his spunk, some did dribble out of her mouth and over the fingers of her right hand that was pumping his thick dick.

She rolled over when he finished and said:

“Eat my pussy, I`ll teach you how.”

He obeyed, moving around to put his head between her creamy thighs. My wife gave him a brief but thorough tutorial on pussy eating and with a little direction soon had her mewing as he sucked her clit and slipped a finger into her vaginal hole. In a few minutes she was cumming while at the same time smothering his head from squeezing her thighs.

He was rock hard again. My wife gripped his ears and pulled him up and over her. The teen aged boy scrambled over her body to comply.

Holding his ears her eyes bored into his, “Now do what you`ve always wanted to do. Fuck me really good.”

She took his pole in her right hand and guided him into her pussy. Her legs bent back as she opened herself up to his cock entering her. Our nephew held himself up by his hands as his ass began the rhythmic up and down motion between my wife’s legs. Her hands held his hips to guide his pumping.

“Motherfucker!” He breathed, “This is a goddamn dream!”

He fucked her with deep strokes, the sounds of her moaning, their hips slapping together, his ass clenching every time he drove into her, the sight of her feet splayed on the shaking bed as she met him thrust for thrust was sensory overload. I pumped my dick with a passion I never knew I had. I felt the boiling in my lower belly that every man recognizes as he’s about to explode. I braced myself with my left hand on the wood paneled hall.

“Oh shit, fuck me harder! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Aaaaahhh! Fuckfuckfuckfuck!” Her legs clamped around his thighs and she thrust her hips up into him as she came….and came.
He lowered himself on her crushing her breasts and wrapping his arms behind her back he gripped her shoulders as if to hold her in place as he fucked his engorged cock in and out of her stretched out vagina.

“Oh my god Aunt ______! I`m gonna cum in you!” Still holding her in place he threw his head back then, lost in his own ecstasy he slowly shook his head back and forth while his dick gushed what proved to be a huge amount of cum into my wife’s womb.

In a moment my legs buckled as I began to pump my own geyser of jizz onto the hallway floor; I grunted like some sort of animal.
My nephew was draped over my wife but he heard my orgasm and spun around on her to stare at me in surprise. I was sitting on the floor with my back against the open door and my shorts stretched across my thighs. I raised my right hand to him in breathless communication that all was well. His dick made a wet popping sound as it pulled out of her pussy. The room was filled with the pungent smell of raw, incestuous sex.

My wife pulled his head into her breast and softly kissed his ear, “Its alright baby, its alright” she cooed.

Bag smother

I’ve got a hot cousin and I didn’t know it till our grandma died.

My family wasn't close with the other relatives. They lived 12 hours away, across a lot of states. Snow dumped on us every year, much like how my mom’s siblings used to dump on her as kids, and they were basking in the sun complaining of freezing fingers when it’s sweatshirt weather, you know? We visited my grandparents' at Christmas every year and if the schedules coincided, I’d see a few relatives. I don’t know most of their names. I’ve got 30 cousins including wives and second cousins (that’s the kid of a cousin, right?).

So after my grandma was done fighting cancer, we had a funeral. It was really sad and I don’t mean to cheapen the sentiment with literotica, but this was the first time I saw many of my cousins and learned a lot of names that I’ve forgotten since. But not Arya’s.

Arya is not her real name. I’m a Game of Thrones fan and GoT has a bit of incest and Arya’s my favorite character and so why not call my hot cousin Arya? It’s kind of close to her actual name. I’ll be changing everyone’s names to whatever, but Arya gets a special explanation for hers. She deserves it.

I drove the 3 hours from college to my parent’s then another 5 to my grandparents’ town. I was a mess. It hadn’t hit emotionally, but I was low energy in the midst of studying for finals next week and this was the first funeral I’d been to since I was 8 and went in my spiderman pajamas. Basically I didn’t have funeral clothes.

When we showed up, I was in a dark shirt and jeans, looking somber, till a relative I didn’t know, this fat bustling aunt in a floral print shirt, came up to hug my mom then my dad then me. She knew me! “Oh, James,” she said as she smothered me. “You’re so big now.” She was warm and friendly so I put on a big smile as I said, “Hi…”

Luckily my mom saved me and said, “I’m going to talk to your Aunt Sarah. Will you go put our coats down?”

My relatives are country folk living in the South. They’ve all got that accent. I’m more of a city guy. And I felt a little uncomfortable, maybe superior in my arrogance, around these bumpkins. And I’m generally shy.

So I sat in the fold out metal chairs with my parents’ coats and just kind of looked around, uncomfortable, and checked my phone. My college girlfriend had recently decided we were better friends than anything else. Which was fine and all, but well, I didn’t want to text her about this. It’d probably guilt her into some comfort sexting, but I wasn’t feeling so bold at the time. Now years later, well, different story. I think I just opened Angry Birds and played a few games while sitting in front of the closed casket. It was adorned with a wreath and there was a corkboard of photos of her at all ages, though most were her as Grandma. And a group of people I didn’t recognize examined the photos, blocking my view. They were dressed appropriately in dark suits or dresses.

The group came over and asked who I was and asked if I was so-and-so’s kid and I was and I asked who they were and who their parents were and all that. It was three girls and two guys. One of the girls and both guys were my cousins, and you could see the family resemblance, round-face, curly hair, pudgy, and the other girls were their dates. I didn’t know anyone brought dates to a wake. But I felt okay again having checked out the ladies’ asses, though one had been my cousin’s.

We talked for a little bit about the last time I saw them. A Christmas when we were kids, though one swore it was Thanksgiving but I told him, “No, no, we always have Thanksgiving at home.”

That kind of turned them off.

We were the family that never visited. All of them lived near my grandparents, and when my grandma got sick, all pitched in. All my family did was offer to pay bills till it got to the end then Mom came for a visit.

Anyway, they walked away to talk to other cousins.

I was in my early 20s and so were those cousins, but we had older ones. And this man in his 30s with curly hair and a little extra fat especially on his cheeks entered with this stunning blonde, I assumed he was my cousin.

Oh no.

They came up the corkboard, attached one of their photos, and I introduced myself and asked him who he was related to.

He was this bumbling guy. “Well, her. Ha, ha. I mean, we’re in a relationship—married, so I guess her.”

The stunning woman in this tight black dress that was strapless and squeezed her breasts so the pendant of her silver necklace rested in her sun-kissed cleavage complete with tanlines from a bikini laughed and said, “I’m Dana’s daughter. Arya.”

Dana was the oldest of my mom’s siblings and had gotten pregnant in high school, or maybe right after.

“Who are you?” she asked.

I told her and she said, “Oh! Remember when I was testing my make-up on you? Why is that so fun to do to little boys tied up? God, I must’ve been in high school then and you were maybe in Kindergarten?”

“I think I’m repressing that memory,” I told her.

“Aw, was it that traumatizing? You were crying…”

“You know kids. Always crying till someone kisses it better.”

“I tried that!” She didn’t have an accent. That awful Southern rural accent. Sorry, but you’re talking like Huck Finn, it’s hard to sound educated. It drives me nuts. But she had shed hers.

“You’d think I’d remember that.” I was smiling a lot. You know when you meet someone and it just clicks and you want it to click because hey, they’re hot? That’s how it was and because I had no relationship with her prior, ogling her, flirting a little, smiling like an idiot didn’t feel wrong. But doing all of that at a wake for our grandma did. “It’s too bad about Grandma,” I said.

She hugged me. I hugged back. Then her husband joined in and it got uncomfortable.

My parents came round and said, “Sorry about his clothes. He’s fresh from college—second year half way done! And he grew out of all his dress clothes.”

Arya volunteered to take me. “I don’t know where I’m going or anything, but I’ll get him looking spiffy. We can catch up.”

When we got in her car, a used Lincoln, probably fancy a decade ago but now all it boasted was a large backseat and seat warmers, she let her hair down from its tie. “Oh god thank you for coming under dressed. We’re just going to cruise for a bit because I can’t be in there mingling with Tom, Dick, Harry, whatever their names are. Right after high school, I got a scholarship to Florida and never wanted to go back. All those hick accents!”

“Yeah!” I said. “Like Huckleberry Finn!”

“Sure…”

“You know, Tom Sawyer. Deep Missouri Valley country hick accent. Sorry, I’m an English major.”

“And you’re smart! You are the blessing of this trip. I don’t really read so no clue what you’re talking about but keep talking. It’s helping me unclench for the first time since hearing I’d have to come.”

So we talked in the car about how awful the family was, the cousins, aunts, uncles, their divorces. She knew a lot of scandals I hadn’t heard like one of our uncles was in prison for a sexual offense, but even she didn’t know what. He wasn’t here today. Another was a junkie, in and out of rehab. Then we got to grandma and grandpa and both agreed they were the only good parts of the family.

“Other than us, of course,” I said.

“You’re definitely a blessing.”

“And blessed to be in this car.” I meant to imply with her more strongly, but something snapped me out of the flirty attitude, and I added, “Away from them.”

She smiled at me and we got quiet for a bit and she turned on the radio as we drove through the small town. It was near Christmas. Decorations were up. There wasn’t any snow. I told her we got like two feet last week and still had classes. She asked where I went to college. I told her to visit any time she wanted. I found out she was a helicopter medical evac personnel. She didn’t fly the helicopter, but she was the nurse or paramedic in back treating whomever.

Finally we got to a shop that sold suits and dresses. One stop fancy shopping. I had my mom’s credit card, but I didn’t think she intended to get me a full-on suit. It’d be my first. But Arya told me we were just getting the off-the-rack stuff. It wouldn’t be too much.

So I tried on some things she picked out and I came out of the dressing room still doing up my belt because the pants were too wide at the waist and were just sliding down off and dragging on under the heels of the dress shoes. We looked at how deflated I looked in the mirror.

“Get those off and we’ll get you the next size down.” She rolled down the waist to see the tag and what size they were. “I’ll bring you the next ones.”

I went back in the dressing room and took them off. I was just in my boxers and undershirt when she came in. Just barged on in through the swinging doors. I tried being natural about it, like I wasn’t uncomfortable or having dirty thoughts, but then she whipped out the measuring tape. “Put these on.” I did and she started measuring my seams. The outer one first. She told me to stop fidgeting as she was on her knees touching my thigh. Then the inner seem. “I used to work in one of these suit shops during college. The way we measured our special customers was to do the right in-seam, then cup *it* and move it over and measure the other side.” She laughed at the joke (I think she was kidding) and I thought about our dead grandmother so I wouldn’t twitch beneath the pants.

Then she helped me on the shirt and I buttoned all but the top two. She looked at it and buttoned them both, then unbuttoned the top. It was a little too big so she told me to get it off and before it was off, she starts pressing up against me trying to get at the tag in the collar to see the neck size. I think it was like 17 ¾.

She came back with a smaller shirt for me and a few dresses for her. They were a little more modest than the little black dress she had squeezed into. “I’m almost as unprepared for funerals as you. I bought this for a dinner party and a self-esteem boost. Sometimes you pay extra for that.”

I was shirtless and she was looking at herself in the mirror, checking herself out, and I was thinking she shouldn’t need to pay for it looking like she does.

Curvy and sun-kissed and blonde and tall and just perfect. The kind of girl you get a crush on even if you’ve just met her and found out she’s your cousin.

And I felt her back against me. “Oh sorry,” she said. Right against my crotch. With that perfect ass.

I couldn’t help it! I might have rubbed up against her a little with my erection.

“Is that what I think it is?” she said, laughing nervously but not moving away.

“Sorry.” I also stayed there.

“No, thank you for the compliment. Okay, I’m going to try these on now.”

I stayed, confused, horny, hopeful.

“Wait out there? I’ll be real quick.”

Damn. So I sat in the chair outside, hoping it’d subside, when she came out and we paid for everything and got in her car and left.

I was feeling pretty embarrassed that I’d “made a move.” Yeah that was the best move I had. Pressing against her like it was an accident, but both of us probably knowing it wasn’t. She knew. She kicked me out as she changed. She didn’t even try them on for me or any other little hints. The drive back was quiet. Awkward.

And when the funeral home was in sight, we pulled off onto a dirt road. This was a farming town with a lot of forests and field entrances and just places that a high schooler might go with his girl to makeout. She pulled into the dead end where we were covered in shade, just past a bend so we could hear trucks drive past on the main road, but not see them.

“Okay, we better do this before getting there,” she said.

My hope was restored.

Then she added, “Get changed.”

Hope tarnished.

“50 people talking about the dead, suddenly sad, rushing to the bathrooms. There’s no way we could change there. And wouldn’t want to do it in the parking lot where someone would see.”

“Sure, a relative seeing would be awkward,” I said.

“Yeah?” she said laughing.

“Yeah…”

“Then let’s make it awkward.”

I don’t know what she was thinking or what she imagined would come of it or what I should’ve done, but she stripped off that top awful fast. Let those breasts loose. No bra. A black thong. And I stared and she stared back and I started getting my shirt off and pants and I reached for my new clothes but she pulled something from her bag. New boxer-briefs. Real tight ones. She just threw them at me. Once I was naked she looked at me, erect, then stared me in the eyes. She was still naked except for that thong. I don’t want to forget the shape of her breasts, the size, how the tan-lines colored them, how they jiggled, her ass, the birthmark or any of that, but that was years ago. Details fade, get edited. I think her tits are bigger in my head now.

But her devilish smile. I can’t forget that.

Finally, she said, “Let’s get those clothes on. They’ll be calling soon, wondering if we ditched.”

And it was over. She dressed. I got a little peek at that booty, but not much, and when we went in for the wake, her dressed more modestly, my erection hidden till we got to the service and it died down. My mom and her siblings and my grandfather gave their eulogies and I cried and we buried grandma. Then we all went to lunch at some diner where even the table was greasy.

I wanted to sit by my cousin, but I had to sit by my parents and they wanted to sit by some fat aunt that kept asking about my future and so on.

I didn’t get to talk to my cousin till it was time to leave. “I’m serious about coming to visit. Any time you want. It’s beautiful in the fall. All the leaves changing.”

“Sure, sure,” she said.

“Or the spring is good. Tons of flowers. Ever heard of Dutch pantaloons? It might be a local name, but they make the campus smell so much better. Hides the BO and stale weed stench.”

“I’ll think about it.” God, she had to have smelled my desperation for more, but she wasn’t obliging. Fine, I can take a hint. A woman says no, you just have to let go, right?

“Have a safe trip,” I said and waved like I was leaving.

But she pulled me in for a hug, saying “You too,” then when I was pressed up against that perfect tanned body, she heaved her hot breath into my ear and said, “Think about me some time…”

Oh I have… a lot.

-WARN- It's a long one, but it's something I have to tell. There's a TL;DR; -WARN-

Names have been altered for secrecy.

Confession: A Detailed Account of Two Forced Sexual Encounters with my Step Cousin

When my parents were divorced in 1986, my mother began dating and eventually remarried a lawyer. The lawyer had a sister, and that sister had children. One of them was Ashley. Ashley, or just "Ash" as we began call her, is three years my older, but we fit together like two peas in a pod. She liked all the same games as I, and we often agreed on all issues, trivial or otherwise. Ashley and I stopped seeing each other as often when my parents divorced again, and at this point we were in separate schools. I was in sixth grade at the eastern high school, and she was in seventh grade at the western. Because of our school situation, we didn't see each other often, but occasionally the bus routes would intersect and we would meet up. It was on one of those days that I experienced one of the most life changing experiences of my entire existence. I was dropped off at my mother's office which has already closed ( I used to wait here to be picked up ) when I saw Ash walking down the sidewalk. I invited her in, because that's what friends do. She asked me how my day was, how school had been, typical, boring stuff. She had changed. The old, hyper "Ash" that I knew had been replaced with a calm, level-headed (or so I thought), and in my eyes boring "Ashley." But something was different about her. Her demeanor was off-balance. She looked uneasy, almost sick, and nervous. She told me she wasn't feeling well. She asked me to come into the back with her to look for something to do. Once back there, the real fun began. She closed the door behind her, turned out the lights, and took off her shirt. The light from the shaded window was dim. I turned around to tell her to stop joking around, and she practically tackled me to the floor and pressed her 14-year-old chest against me. I tried to resist, but she was an athlete and demonstrated that. She took off her bra and began to rub her medium-sized breasts against my face. She took off all my clothes, wiping each article against the crotch of her pants. She molested me. My friend who I had trusted over many years. She yanked and jerked and licked my 11-year-old penis to no avail. I was not enjoying it. But this was not the worst. She continued to scratch and hold me. She only ceased to remove her pants. Fully naked, she smothered me with her exposed pussy and ground my face until she climaxed. I could barely breathe. I was traumatized. It amazed me that this girl would be capable of such a thing, and while maintaining complete silence. She hit me and the last thing she said was, �If you tell anyone, I'll do it again and again, and no one will believe you.� It was inhuman. I never told anyone, and I never saw Ashley again, until four years later at a new years party. I was 16, she was 19 in college. She acted nonchalant. She acted like nothing had happened. I was furious, I wanted to kill her. Because of her, I had taken up a life of drugs and detention in school. I was on regular drug tests, which I routinely failed, but no one cared here. I spent nearly every Friday afternoon in Detention. I hated her, and I wanted revenge. All of the proper adults were as drunk as dogs. Ashley was blazed, and I could feel the ache of my own vices. Ashley got up and went outside for a smoke. I decided that this was my opportune moment. I ran outside and hit her over the head and dragged her into an unoccupied room. I quickly gagged her with a washcloth and duct tape and tied her hands to the legs of a dresser with a couple of pillowcases after removing her shirt. When I heard her start to groan, I got down at the level of her face and smacked her. She came to. I told her everything. I told her how she fucked up my life, about how she ruined me that night at my mom's office. And I told her that now it was her turn. But it was more than her turn. She had that night plus years of hell to pay for. I was going to make this an absolute misery. I pulled out a small bag of cocaine I had. I laid the coke out in the small of her back while I held her still. Then I pulled out my razor-blade and lined it up, cutting her severely in the process. I then proceeded to snort two lines of cocaine off of my step cousin's back. Everyone in the house was either in a deep alcoholic sleep or gone for the night, but I didn't care. Tonight was about revenge. I pulled down her skirt so she was in her lace bra and thong and slapped her bare ass as hard as I could. She tried to scream, but I only laughed. I pulled off my pants and shirt, down to my boxers and leaned in close to her face, contouring her body. I whispered in her ear those words that had haunted my life for four miserable years, �If you tell anyone, I'll do it again and again, and no one will believe you.� In one swift motion I oiled my fingers, pulled her thong aside, and rammed two fingers into her asshole. She tried violently to resist. But now, I was much stronger than she. I continued fingering her asshole for about a minute before I pulled her thong completely off along with my boxers. I had a monster-thumper of a boner. I oiled up and thrust it into her pussy in the blink of an eye. I was brutal, I was unforgiving. I had reduced her to tears. Good. That's how I wanted her to feel. I wanted her to feel violated. I wanted her to think, he's raping me and there's nothing I can do to stop it. I pulled out and pumped in and out of her asshole, then I ejaculated inside of her anus. I grabbed my razor-blade and held it to her face, then I removed the duct tape gag and told her to tell me what she thought. After what seemed like hours of exasperated breathing, she said �How could you do that, for what I did to you?� To which I replied �You'll know in four years.� I walked away and drove away from the town, went to another state to stay in a hotel on some cash that I had saved up. When everything quieted down, I called a friend to ask how things were to see if she had told anyone (he didnt' know, but I asked what was up, small talk, etc.). To my surprise, she had blamed the beatings and bruising on her ex boyfriend, who was convicted and arrested of rape. I returned home and was in trouble with the law for running away, but it was a far cry from rape allegations. Sure enough, about six years later I run into Ashley again. She was on hard drugs like cocaine that I had kicked since then. In fact, she was almost exactly like I did five years before. My life, however, was going good. I was in college with a decent job, but she was a wreck. When she saw me, she was shocked, but she didn't respond with anger as I had, but she asked me if she could talk to me alone. I agreed, I didn't feel threatened at all (though I probably should have), and we went to her apartment. She was crying the whole way there. I began to tear up. When we entered her apartment, which was torn to pieces, she began crying uncontrollably, she got on her knees and said she was sorry. She begged for my forgiveness. She told me what I had told her, six years ago, that that night had ruined her life because she had realized the psychological pain that rape can cause. All she wanted was my forgiveness, and she had struck a nerve, because all I had really wanted, was for her to ask for it. I gave her a hug and told her how sorry I was. Truth be told, I hadn't regretted a single minute until that moment, but I then realized the error of what I had done. We cried, we talked, and we forgave each other, but we could never remain close. We went our separate ways. I haven't seen her again so far, but it was nice to finally have some closure to that episode.

TL;DR: My step cousin raped me, and I brutally hate-raped her again four years later.