i confess every pedophile comment or story i stumble across on this website makes me think about how i could simply by the grace of karma if put in a room with any one of you i would completely contort your psyche so violently your fucking eyeballs would melt and ear drums explode making you the child and showing you the confusion and pain sacrificed for your very need to have a orgasm. your fantasy's are your weapons to destroy life's but also your weakness i suggest you dismember each one of them along with your legacy of constructed dark thoughts stemming from weakness and start spreading as much good in the world as you can . you will not like what is coming too you...tsk why does a simple amateur porn site with forums some how bring all the fucking sick fucks out, do you think you will be expressing your self so openly when your walking threw my side of the fence?

Hey gang!

Im looking for a cam chat video on which a cute brunette with nice tits masturbates with a large dildo to a guy who's in a university, sometimes she says his name out loud, i think it was Andy. Its a nice little video, the girl at the begining wears a little grey short. At the end the dude totaly psyched wants to drive home from the university to fuck the girl.

If anyone has a link to it pls share! THX

I confess that I am a pathetic bitch who wants nothing more than to get beat the fuck up and used by a bunch of men and left a sobbing mess. I want to get dragged around by my hair, thrown to the ground, kicked in the stomach, kneed in my cunt, and punched in the face. I want them to laugh at me and tell me I'm stupid and ugly as they beat my tits until they're purple. I want them to take turns raping my asshole as they relentlessly punch me in the back and rub my face into the dirty floor. I want to be covered in bruises and welts when they're finished, I want a black eye, I don't want to be able to stand up afterwards without somebody's help. I want them to destroy my psyche and ruin me physically. Some days it's all i can think about.

looking for a scene in a movie where an older guy is fucking some girl in like a hospital or psych ward on what i can remember is like a table or a dentists chair, and the girl is like laughing the entire time, not much to go on but if you have seen the scene you know what im talking about. i think its a scene from a scary movie, havent seen the movie just the scene.

I've been talking to myself in weird ways. Not long dialogues like in the movies, but short little angry statements and then strange calming words like "it's okay..." when my mood flips to slightly better out of nowhere, even though I still feel like I'm lying to myself. I've been randomly laughing or crying out of nowhere. I've also been very short tempered with people close to me.

I feel in control of it, but I also feel/ know that this is different than how I usually feel/ behave.

I did just break up with someone recently and have been under huge amounts of pressure lately. To any psych students or people who would know, am I going bat shit crazy or is this just stress related?

I confess my girlfriend of 3 years in the psych ward right now thanks to Tina messing with her head. I wish I could meet a jib slut that could keep up with me while maintaining a thin illusion of normalcy.

Some people have been writing stories on here, so I’m going to try my hand at it. A lot of it's true, some of it's a bit exaggerated for dramatic flair - but for the most part, it's true.

I couldn't help but notice how nice and obedient Amy was. She always followed the status quo, scribbling down notes that the professor would post on the projector. I never understood why she just didn’t take pictures of the notes the professor had on the projector. I often found myself close to her during class, smelling her unique scent. It was really hard to speak to her, but I knew she wouldn't want anything to do with someone like me. Amy was beautiful and alluring, way out of my league.

I couldn't take my eyes off her long brown hair, which cascaded down to the middle of her back. Her body was flawless, seeming as if it had been designed by the gods themselves. She had large breasts that begged to be touched and a slim waist that could make every man envy her. When she walked, her ass moved so gracefully that it was impossible not to be captivated by it. Each graceful step she took shook and swayed her perfect ass, and I found myself lost in her mesmerizing movements. I wanted her in every way sexually imaginable.

A few other girls she would sit and chat with before heading to another class made up the majority of her buddies on campus. I had the uneasy feeling that I was a stalker because I was always keeping a safe distance while watching her ass jiggle and breasts jump with each vigorous step she took. Amy was vivacious and often always smiling and pleasant. I knew she didn't have a boyfriend.

In the college library, I was alone and reading a book when I happened to glance up and notice Amy and a few of her friends passing by. I didn't stop staring at her until she disappeared from view. To see more of her, I really wanted to get up and follow her. I suppose I was allowing my crush on her to rule me in a way that I needed to control. My obsession with this woman was physically affecting my mental health, so I had to stop. I shook my head, sighed, and then picked up my book once more.
“You're a fucking creep, dude,” It was one of Amy's buddies when I looked up. My mouth was open, and I stumbled a little.
“Wh-what?” I mumbled.
“She finds it weird that you are constantly watching her. Quit objectifying her, you sick fucking prick.”
My heart plummeted to the bottom of my chest as the woman became more obnoxious.
"I-I didn't mean to, but I'm shy and hesitant to approach her.
“Tell her I'm sorry and that it won't happen again. I didn't mean to seem creepy."
I avoided making eye contact with my accuser by casting my gaze to the ground.
She remained still for a moment, and I overheard what sounded like a "huff" of a sigh.
“Hey, maybe you didn't mean to come off as a creep, it's evident you get nervous around ladies... maybe just attempt to say hi to her rather than staring at her from across the room?”
She appeared to settle down and even feel sorry for me. I simply nodded in agreement without looking up.
"Yes, I have problems with social anxiety. I mean, I feel a certain attraction to her, but I just can't approach her or anyone else and tell them, you know? I'm not confident enough.”
“What’s your name?” I looked up and made eye contact with her as she inquired.
I could hardly get out, "Mike."
She walked over to where Amy and her friends were sitting, motioning to Amy, who looked me in the eyes from across the room and she walked over to me.
My anxiety was out of control; I wanted to get up, flee the library, and hide in a dark corner. I became immobile.
"This is Mike, he has social anxiety, he comes off like a creep because he is shy and can't talk to the opposite sex without becoming anxious," her friend said as she walked over to me. "My psych classes are definitely paying off," she chuckled.
"Hello, Mike," Amy said sweetly. I'm sorry my friend yelled at you like that; I was just scared because you've been staring at me for a while now, and I've noticed."
"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to, I just...well, I'm just..." I looked down.
"You're shy," Amy observed.
"Um yes," I whispered barely audible, as I looked up and melted into her beautiful eyes.
Amy took a seat to my right in an empty chair. "You got this tiger," her friend said as she patted her on the shoulder and walked away.
My heart began to race as Amy began to speak, "So you're not some psychotic crazed maniac, are you?"
"No, I just need to warm up, get to know you," I said, smiling.
We had a long conversation in which she asked me where I was from, where I lived, and what my hobbies were, and I asked her the same questions.
She was staying less than a mile away from my flat. She was a 20-year-old undergrad studying sociology with aspirations of becoming a social worker or possibly a teacher. I informed her that my major was computer science with a minor in psychology, but that I was considering making psychology my major because the computer science business was so competitive.
We talked for what seemed like hours, and I was truly warming up and emerging from my shell.
"May I take you out for a cup of coffee?" Perhaps a little too loudly, I blurted out.
"I'd like that, Mike," she chuckled, “It's a date."
I met her at a Starbucks not far from my appartment. My shyness surfaced once more when I walked in and saw her sitting at a table, waiting for me. I couldn't help but notice her stunning cleavage as she wore a tight blue "V" neck sweater. She smiled and stood up, hugging me. I felt her perfect breasts pressing into me and was immediately hard, so I sat down quickly.
She sat down, smirked, and asked, "So... "What is your favorite coffee here?"
"I like the caramel late, and cappuccino a lot too," I said, trying to refocus so my dick would go limp.
"I gotcha," she winked. Amy stood up and walked to the counter, where she placed the orders for our coffees. I felt bad because I wanted to pay for her but pitching a tent, I was embarrassed. She returned to our table and took a seat.
"I- was going to pay for it, I'm sorry."
Amy laughed and motioned to my crotch, "you were having other issues."
"Relax, you're ok," she said, gently touching my hand as I blushed.
"So, Mike I’ll be up front, how many girls have you been with?”
“Well, I had a girlfriend in high school, but well, you know those youthful relationships never turn out well at all,” I said, warming up to her again, “and that’s about it. My shyness turns most women off.”
“I think it’s cute,” she said, “now I kinda miss having my own personal stalker.”
I laughed, “I mean I didn’t think I was-“
“I’m joking!” Amy teased.
“I’ll bet a lot of guys ask you out. I’m shocked you don’t have a boyfriend, hell I’m shocked you’re here with me.”
“Well, I’ve been with one guy but it wasn’t serious. I was brought up in a very strict household, very conservative. That not so serious relationship was pretty much just a one-night stand. I think that was just me rebelling against my family, and so I didn’t have to live with being a virgin,” Amy said reflecting back.
She got up and got our coffee, “Here you go, stalker,” she laughed a bit.
“You know, I noticed you watching me from the get-go. I thought you were cute, but then you didn’t approach me, and I got a little nervous.”
“Yeah, unfortunately my shyness gets in the way of talking to people, especially beautiful women,” I told her.
We made small talk for a while and eventually we both decided we needed to get going as it was getting late. I walked her to her car and we exchanged phone numbers. I was afraid to kiss her. I wanted to kiss her, but my body just wouldn’t listen to my brain who was screaming, “KISS HER!”
As we exchanged goodbye hugs, she pulled me close to her. Amy gave my neck a soft kiss, and I turned to give her a kiss in return. She took a deep breath and wrapped her arms around me as our passionate tongues entwined. My hands pulled her in by grabbing her soft succulent ass. She was aware of my cock, prodding into her, but I didn't care. After what felt like over ten minutes of kissing, we both were blushing.
“Wow, you can kiss!”, she exclaimed, almost gasping for air. Her skin was flushed, and her chest was very red.
As her hand descended to feel my erect penis through my jeans, she kissed my lips more intensely.
"My Place?" I asked.
Amy nodded, practically pleading with me to fuck her right then and there as she gazed at me with her soul piercing eyes.
We were all over each other in the bedroom after she followed me to my apartment. My tongue battled with her tongue as my hands groped her huge, soft breasts. My jeans were unbuttoned and slid off by her hand. As I passionately bit her lip and squeezed her breasts, she groaned. I undid her bra after removing her top and was astounded by how beautiful her magnificent melons were. Instantaneously, my mouth was sucking and licking her nipple. She groaned even louder as she removed her panties and pants.
She wailed and moaned with passion, "Oh Mike!” My cock was quickly inserted deep into her throat as she started sucking me.
"It's so fucking huge, holy shit," Amy said, licking the tip and then engulfing my cock with her mouth as far as she could, she would suck it deep and then she came up for air. She slightly choked. I wanted to force-fuck her face and grab her hair, but I restrained myself. For our first fuck, I didn't want to be too aggressive.
"I want to taste you," I said, and she stopped sucking and climbed onto the bed, spreading eagle.
I buried my face in her meaty pussy. My tongue worked its way up to her clit after digging deep and licking her sweet juices. She groaningly encircled my head and back with her legs. She was unable to remain still as I licked her with two fingers in her.
She was repeatedly calling my name as her body shuddered, my tongue was dancing on her clit, and my fingers were gently moving back and forth inside her. My cock was still rock hard.
"Fuck me, take me Mike!" She pleaded, and I persisted in licking her pussy.
“FUCK! Please give me that big dick; I can't handle it!”
She stood up and bent over doggy style, and I followed suit by mounting her perfect ass. My cock jutted deep inside her wet pussy as I mounted her from behind, causing her large breasts to sway and jostle.
I was hitting her pussy hard with my cock, thrusting deep with my hips. I pulled her hips back and allowed my cock to drill deeper because I could feel it rubbing against her cervix. When she started screaming as she came hard. My cock lost it, so I pulled back and doused her back in cum, spraying it up her spine from the succulent end of her ass.
Amy kissed my lips as she made a joke about how shy I was, “Ohh I’m sooo shy!”
We both looked at each other and laughed,
“You could have made me your little cum slut, but I'm on birth control, you know. You didn’t need to pull that monster cock out of me."
I was a bit shocked, “You've been hanging out on too many porn websites, Amy,” I chuckled.
"Oh you don't even know. Which kind of pornography do you prefer? Genre?” she asked.
I hesitated and worried that this was a trick question, but I eventually responded, "Lesbian porn. I'd much rather watch a couple of gorgeous women spar than watch a guy's dick and balls flopping around.”
“Same. I eventually want to try being with a woman,” said Amy.
I remained silent because I hated the fact that she had already seemingly ruled out any kind of romantic connection between us.
I remarked, "I mean, I wouldn't mind if I was dating you and you enjoyed yourself with a lady.”
Amy lowered her head to my limp cock and said, "I think we're going to get along just fine," as she began licking the head of my cock.
That's how I came to meet my wife. Come November, we will have been married for 23 years. She's had a lot of women, and occasionally she's shared them with me. Even today, our love is still very strong. She's helped me overcome so much in my life, my shyness, my anxiety - and this is my tribute to her.
Amy - if you ever see this, I love you with all of my heart.

I'm 24 have been fucking this older BBW for the past couple months. She's bigger than I'd normally do, but she's been letting me cum in her since the second time we fucked; turns me on so much. Also, she's always down to fuck and has a surprisingly tight pussy. And gives a mean BJ. We're gonna 69 next time with me on tip. Pretty psyched for that.

I confess, I got busted (assault on a female) for dumping my jizz down the backside of a beautiful russian girl as she was standing in line in front me at a check out line. She was wearing parachute pants for working out and the jizz soaked right through to her butt. It also made the outfit practically transparent.
The DA didnt know what to charge me with and took their time until they finally decided to come get me. They wanted me on a sex offenders list but there is know crime defining semen separate from bodily fluid. So essentially the charge was that as if I spit on her.
dont ever get busted for shit like this....the consequences are nightmarish. Part of my plea was to get evaluated by a state psych doctor and to comply with his recommendations...... The treatment sexual misfits are a on going topic of discussion within law enforcement.
Part of the required treatment in my state is to fully admitt and disclose ALL your sexual conduct. Whether it legal normal or otherwise. If in the doctors opinion you are holding back info he can put you in violation of your probation for noncompliance.....he determins your non compliance through the use of tests ...the most controversial of which is the PPG where you have to jack off...calm down and then strap on a mercury filled ring around your dick. That ring sends back movement to a machine that records the circumference of your dick.....what then?????????? the doctor plays audio and video of little girls and boys wanting to see what's in your pants and faggot men wanting you to suck on them....basically they want to pin you down as a child molester or a gay.
I DIDNT FALL FOR IT and spent $9,000 in attorney fee's pleading a direct violation of my 5th amendment rights. I won that argument and was reassigned a new therapist that my attorney maneuvered in for me.
If I would have been put through that testing I would have been so busted as a pedophile. I'm addicted to women...no matter what their age is...from first ovulation to granny just broke her hip from getting nailed too hard. Woman are the greatest creation on earth.
Now I lead up a sexual addiction therapy group in my area....what's crazy is my wife is there with me for support.
The 12 step program has holes all in it though and relapse is the same as bullshit....its a common and present in everyone who attends these things.
I would like to share my first step with swome of you if you are interested in learning how this messed up perverted stigmatic addiction thing manifests itself and the depths at which it will take you.
It's all in the way you were raised...I was raised in a whorehouse from the time I seven to the time I was 23. The confessions and made up stories here are nothing compare to the things I have seen and done...all before the age of 15

Life, the Universe & everything.

Quotes from Douglas Adams, one of the funniest guys that ever lived.

RIP 1952 - 2001.
So long, & thanks for all the books.

“In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.”

"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools."

"Arthur hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realised there was a contradiction there and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife.”

“Bypasses are devices that allow some people to dash from point A to point B very fast while other people dash from point B to point A very fast. People living at point C, being a point directly in between, are often given to wonder what's so great about point A that so many people from point B are so keen to get there and what's so great about point B that so many people from point A are so keen to get there. They often wish that people would just once and for all work out where the hell they wanted to be.”

“For a moment, nothing happened. Then, after a second or so, nothing continued to happen.”

“God puts an apple tree in the middle of the Garden of Eden and says, do what you like guys, oh, but don't eat the apple. Surprise surprise, they eat it and he leaps out from behind a bush shouting "Gotcha." It wouldn't have made any difference if they hadn't eaten it... because if you're dealing with somebody who has the sort of mentality which likes leaving hats on the pavement with bricks under them you know perfectly well they won't give up. They'll get you in the end.”

“He shifted his weight from foot to foot, but it was equally uncomfortable on each.”

“Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.”

“Humans are not proud of their ancestors, and rarely invite them round to dinner.”

“I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.”

“I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be.”

“I'm spending a year dead for tax reasons.”

“If human beings don't keep exercising their lips, he thought, their mouths probably seize up. After a few months' consideration and observation he abandoned this theory in favour of a new one. If they don't keep on exercising their lips, he thought, their brains start working.”

“If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, we have at least to consider the possibility that we have a small aquatic bird of the family anatidae on our hands.”

“If somebody thinks they're a hedgehog, presumably you just give 'em a mirror and a few pictures of hedgehogs and tell them to sort it out for themselves.”

"INFINITE: Bigger than the biggest thing ever and then some. Much bigger than that, in fact, really amazingly immense, a totally stunning size, real "wow, that's big" time. Infinity is so big that by comparison, bigness itself looks really titchy. Gigantic multiplied by colossal multiplied by staggeringly huge is the sort of concept we're trying to get across here.”

“Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?”

“It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes.”

“It is a rare mind indeed that can render the hitherto non-existent blindingly obvious. The cry 'I could have thought of that' is a very popular and misleading one, for the fact is that they didn't, and a very significant and revealing fact it is too.”

“It is a well-known fact that those people who must want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it... anyone who is capable of getting themselves made p******** should on no account be allowed to do the job.”

“It is an important and popular fact that things are not always what they seem. For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much - the wheel, New York, wars and so on - whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man - for precisely the same reasons.”

“Life... is like a grapefruit. It's orange and squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast.”

“Life is wasted on the living.”

“Many men of course became extremely rich, but this was perfectly natural and nothing to be ashamed of because no one was really poor, at least no one worth speaking of.”

“Many words and expressions which only a matter of decades ago were considered so distastefully explicit that, were they merely to be breathed in public, the perpetrator would be shunned, barred from polite society, and in extreme cases shot through the lungs, are now thought to be very healthy and proper, and their use in everyday speech and writing is evidence of a well-adjusted, relaxed and totally unfucked-up personality.”

"Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the drug store, but that's just peanuts to space.”

“That young girl is one of the least benightedly unintelligent organic life forms it has been my profound lack of pleasure not to be able to avoid meeting.”

“The difficulty with this conversation is that it's very different from most of the ones I've had of late. Which, as I explained, have mostly been with trees.”

“The Guide is definitive. Reality is frequently inaccurate.”

“The History of every major Galactic Civilization tends to pass through three distinct and recognizable phase, those of Survival, Inquiry and Sophistication, otherwise known as the How, Why and Where phases. For instance, the first phase is characterized by the question How can we eat? the second by the question Why do we eat? and the third by the question Where shall we have lunch?”

“The impossible often has a kind of integrity which the merely improbable lacks.”

“The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.”

“The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at and repair.”

“The mere thought hadn't even begun to speculate about the merest possibility of crossing my mind.”

“The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't.”

“There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.”

“This planet has - or rather had - a problem, which was this: most of the people living on it were unhappy for pretty much of the time. Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movements of small green pieces of paper, which is odd because on the whole it wasn't the small green pieces of paper that were unhappy.”

“Time is bunk.”

“Time, we know, is relative. You can travel light years through the stars and back, and if you do it at the speed of light then, when you return, you may have aged mere seconds while your twin brother or sister will have aged twenty, thirty, forty or however many years it is, depending on how far you traveled. This will come to you as a profound shock, particularly if you didn't know you had a twin brother or sister.”

“We demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty!”

“We have normality. I repeat, we have normality. Anything you still can't cope with is therefore your own problem.”

“You live and learn. At any rate, you live.”

“A computer terminal is not some clunky old television with a typewriter in front of it. It is an interface where the mind and body can connect with the universe and move bits of it about.”

“It's no coincidence that in no known language does the phrase "As pretty as an airport" appear.”

“If on the other hand he went to pay his respects to The Door and it wasn't there...what then?

The answer, of course, was very simple. He had a whole board of circuits for dealing with exactly this problem, in fact this was the very heart of his function. He would continue to believe in it whatever the facts turned out to be, what else was the meaning of belief? The Door would still be there, even if the Door was not.”

"He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it."

“Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the Western Spiral arm of the Galaxy lies a small unregarded yellow sun. Orbiting this at a distance of roughly ninety-eight million miles is an utterly insignificant little blue-green planet whose ape-descended life forms are so amazingly primitive that they still think digital watches are a pretty neat idea ...”

“Men were real men, women were real women, and small, furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real small, furry creatures from Alpha Centauri. Spirits were brave, men boldly split infinitives that no man had split before. Thus was the Empire forged.”

“You know, it's at times like this when I'm trapped in a Vogon

airlock with a man from Betelgeuse and about to die of asphyxiation in

deep space that I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me

when I was young!

Why, what did she tell you?

I don't know, I didn't listen!”

“...was there a reason behind it? There would be no point in asking... he never appeared to have a reason for anything he did at all: he had turned unfathomably into an art form. He attacked everything in life with a mixture of extraordinary genius and naive incompetence and it was often difficult to tell which was which.”

“Anything that happens, happens.

Anything that, in happening, causes something else to happen, causes something else to happen.

Anything that, in happening, causes itself to happen again, happens again.

It doesn’t necessarily do it in chronological order, though.”

“Ford, you're turning into a penguin. Stop it.”

“Who is this God person anyway?”

“On the way back, they sang a number of tuneful and reflective songs on the subjects of peace, justice, morality, culture, sport, family life, and the obliteration of all other life forms.”

“Well I think we've sorted all that out now. If you'd like to know, I can tell you that in your Universe you move freely in three dimensions that you call space. You move in a straight line in a fourth, which you call time, and stay rooted to one place in a fifth, which is the first fundamental of probability. After that it gets a bit complicated, and there's all sorts of stuff going on in dimensions 13 to 22 that you really wouldn't want to know about. All you really need to know for the moment is that the Universe is a lot more complicated then you might think.”

"`...You hadn't exactly gone out of your way to call attention to them had you? I mean like actually telling anyone or anything.'

`But the plans were on display...'

`On display? I eventually had to go down to the cellar to find them.'

`That's the display department.'

`With a torch.'

`Ah, well the lights had probably gone.'

`So had the stairs.'

`But look you found the notice didn't you?'

`Yes,' said Arthur, `yes I did. It was on display in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying "Beware of The Leopard".'"

"`Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.'

`Very deep,' said Arthur, `you should send that in to the "Reader's Digest". They've got a page for people like you.'"

"`This must be Thursday,' said Arthur to himself, sinking low over his beer, `I never could get the hang of Thursdays.'"

"Pages one and two [of Zaphod's p********ial speech] had been salvaged by a Damogran Frond Crested Eagle and had already become incorporated into an extraordinary new form of nest which the eagle had invented. It was constructed largely of papier mache and it was virtually impossible for a newly hatched baby eagle to break out of it. The Damogran Frond Crested Eagle had heard of the notion of survival of the species but wanted no truck with it."

“this is obviously some strange usage of the word "safe" that I wasn't previously aware of.”

"`You'd better be prepared for the jump into hyperspace. It's unpleasently like being drunk.'

`What's so unpleasent about being drunk?'

`You ask a glass of water.'"

"If there's anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now.'"

"There are of course many problems connected with life, of which some of the most popular are `Why are people born?' `Why do they die?' `Why do they spend so much of the intervening time wearing digital watches?'"

"The fronting for the eighty-yard long marble-topped bar had been made by stitching together nearly twenty thousand Antarean Mosaic Lizard skins, despite the fact that the twenty thousand lizards concerned had needed them to keep their insides in."

"`We've got to find out what people want from fire, how they relate to it, what sort of image it has for them.'

The crowd were tense. They were expecting something wonderful from Ford.

`Stick it up your nose,' he said.

`Which is precisely the sort of thing we need to know,' insisted the girl, `Do people want fire that can be fitted nasally?'"

“What to do if you find yourself stuck in a crack in the ground underneath a giant boulder you can't move, with no hope of rescue. Consider how lucky you are that life has been good to you so far. Alternatively, if life hasn't been good to you so far, which given your current circumstances seems more likely, consider how lucky you are that it won't be troubling you much longer.”

"Ford grabbed him by the lapels of his dressing gown and spoke to him as slowly and distinctly and patiently as if he were somebody from a telephone company accounts department."

“Arthur's consciousness approached his body as from a great distance, and reluctantly. It had had some bad times in there. Slowly, nervously, it entered and settled down into its accustomed position.”

"His eyes seemed to be popping out of his head. He wasn't certain if this was because they were trying to see more clearly, or if they simply wanted to leave at this point."

"There was a point to this story, but it has temporarily escaped the chronicler's mind."

"`You know they've reintroduced the death penalty for insurance company directors?'

`Really?' said Arthur. `No I didn't. For what offence?'

Trillian frowned. `What do you mean, offence?'

`I see.'"

"`She hit me on the head with the rock again.'

`I think I can confirm that that was my daughter.'

`Sweet kid.'

`You have to get to know her,' said Arthur.

`She eases up does she?'

`No,' said Arthur, `but you get a better sense of when to duck.'"

"The beak was a major piece of armoury. It was a beak that would frighten any animal on earth, even one that was already dead and in a tin."

"`Could we perhaps take a snake bite detector with us to Komodo?'

`Course you can, course you can. Take as many as you like. Won't do you a blind bit of good because they're only for Australian snakes.'

`So what do we do if we get bitten by something deadly, then?'

He blinked at me as if I was stupid.

`Well what do you think you do?' he said. `You die of course. That's what deadly means.'"

"Mark turned and asked a passenger behind us if these planes ever crashed. Oh yes, he was told, but not to worry - there hadn't been a serious crash now in months."

"Virtually everything we were told in Indonesia turned out not to be true, sometimes almost immediately. The only exception to this was when we were told that something would happen immediately, in which case it turned out not to be true over an extended period of time."

"Komodo dragons sleep headfirst in large burrows. It is a very, very, very bad idea to even think of pulling its tail."

“Plenty of people did not care for him much, but then there is a huge difference between disliking somebody -- maybe even disliking them a lot -- and actually shooting them, strangling them, dragging them through the fields and setting their house on fire. It was a difference which kept the vast majority of the population alive from day to day.”

“Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which follows its own laws.”

“The idea that Bill Gates has appeared like a knight in shining armour to lead all customers out of a mire of technological chaos neatly ignores the fact that it was he who, by peddling second-rate technology, led them into it in the first place.”

“The big corporations are suddenly taking notice of the web, and their reactions have been slow. Even the computer industry failed to see the importance of the Internet, but that's not saying much. Let's face it, the computer industry failed to see that the century would end.”

“One of the problems of taking things apart and seeing how they work - supposing you're trying to find out how a cat works--you take that cat apart to see how it works, what you've got in your hands is a non-working cat. The cat wasn't a sort of clunky mechanism that was susceptible to our available tools of analysis.”

“For thousands more years the mighty ships tore across the empty wastes of space and finally dived screaming on to the first planet they came across - which happened to be the Earth - where due to a terrible miscalculation of scale the entire battle fleet was accidentally swallowed by a small dog.”

“The technology involved in making anything invisible is so infinitely complex that nine hundred and ninety-nine thousand million, nine hundred and ninety- nine million, nine hundred and ninety-nine thousand, nine hundred and ninety- nine times out of a billion it is much simpler and more effective just to take the thing away and do without it.”

“Since this Galaxy began, vast civilisations have risen and fallen, risen and fallen, risen and fallen so often that it's quite tempting to think that life in the Galaxy must be (a) something akin to seasick - space-sick, time sick, history sick or some such thing, and (b) stupid.”

“It wasn't his job to worry about that, though. It was his job to do his job, which was to do his job. If that led to a certain narrowness of vision and circularity of thought then it wasn't his job to worry about such things.”

“All you really need to know for the moment is that the universe is a lot more complicated than you might think, even if you start from a position of thinking it's pretty damn complicated in the first place.”

“Computer, if you don't open that exit hatch this moment I shall zap straight off to your major data banks and reprogram you with a very large axe.”

“I think all cats are wild cats. They just act tame if they think they'll get a saucer of milk out of it.”

“Look, would it save a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now?”

“Now, either you all give yourselves up now and let us beat you up a bit, though not very much of course because we are firmly opposed to needless violence, or we blow up this entire planet and possibly one or two we noticed on our way out here!”

“Rome wasn't burned in a day.”

“The great thing about being the only species that makes a distinction between right and wrong is that we can make up the rules for ourselves as we go along.”

“The most misleading assumptions are the ones you don't even know you're making.”

“There is probably buried in the Western psyche a deep taboo about eating anything you've been introduced to socially.”

“Totally mad. Utter nonsense. But we'll do it because it's brilliant nonsense.”

“We are not an endangered species ourselves yet, but this is not for lack of trying.”

“Don't you understand that we need to be childish in order to understand? Only a child sees things with perfect clarity, because it hasn't developed all those filters, which prevent us from seeing things that we don't expect to see.”

“If you really want to understand something, the best way is to try and explain it to someone else. That forces you to sort it out in your own mind. And the more slow and dim-witted your pupil, the more you have to break things down into more and more simple ideas. And that's really the essence of programming. By the time you've sorted out a complicated idea into little steps that even a stupid machine can deal with, you've certainly learned something about it yourself. The teacher usually learns more than the pupil does.”

"Time is the worst place, so to speak, to get lost in..."

"...he was at least twice as unbalanced now, and quite liable to fall off whatever it is that well-balanced people are supposed to be balancing on."

"In his dreams he was walking late at night along the East Side, beside the river which had become so extravagantly polluted that new life forms were now emerging from it spontaneously, demanding welfare and voting rights"

"Busy executives often didn’t have time for a full-time wife and family and would just rent them for weekends."

"It was impossible for Arthur to know this, but he just went ahead and knew it anyway."

"I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer."

For the past six months I've been sneaking into my moms room at night while shes sleeping and I'll pull the covers off of her feet then lick her toes and suck on them while i masturbate. One time when she was sleeping on the couch I got the chance to cum on her toes and I sucked it off and came again. I finally came out to her about what I was doing to her because she was getting suspicious. I got sent to the psych ward and released to a homeless shelter because my mom cant stand to see me anymore.