I was working at a fazolis fast food restaurant in Phoenix, Arizona, USA. Some lady ordered a meatball sub and we were really behind on orders. When the lady's sub came out of the oven no one caught it and it fell to the ground. I just picked it up dusted it off, wrapped it up and put it in her bag. I walked over and handed it to her with a smile on my face and she drove off never knowing. I'm assuming she ate it because no one called about it.

There will be a bun in the oven tonight

My brother and I were just opportunists and had always been, so when my parents decided they were going out for the evening, we knew there was a chance to do something exciting but there was no way we were going to be able to have a party. We opted to sit at home and watch movies and ordered several before mom and dad left and threw a pizza in the oven. The minute they were out the door, Tommy was all over me with questions.

"Can Mike and Billy come over?" He asked with an adoring look on his face. "I promise we’ll just sit here and watch movies." I did think Mike was quite cute but way too young, of course and honestly they were older than Tommy so I saw no harm in it.

"If you keep your mouth shut about the vodka." I stated in a tone that implied his life would be at stake if he opened his mouth. "And seriously, you guys have to keep it down, too"

"You got it, Sis!" He replied enthusiastically and immediately got on the phone with his buddies. I grabbed myself a glass, popped in some ice cubes and headed for the liqueur cabinet. I poured myself a glass not knowing what it would take to get me drunk. I merely followed the footsteps of my Daddy. While putting the bottle of vodka back I noticed some videos behind the other bottles and carefully pulled one out. It was definitely porn and I chuckled to myself while twirling the box in my hand to try and understand what the movie was about. I studied the girl on the front who had her hand around a huge cock and she was stuffing it into her mouth. There were two other guys behind her and one was about to stick his tool right in her ass. I set the box down and put the vodka back. My hand put the glass to my mouth and I took a sip.

"Ugh!" I shrieked. "How could anyone drink this stuff" I said again to myself and took another sip while pondering the pictures of sex still lingering in my head. I headed for the bathroom and drew myself a nice hot bath, removed my clothes and got in. Moments later I heard the door opening, closing, people talking and gathering food but soon it all settled down and I knew the night would be an easy one. Sip after sip I sat in the tub with the imagery of that stupid movie going through my head and before long I found my hand covering my bald little beaver and soon my fingers were working on the little button. I lay in a meditative state for some time until I heard a knock at the bathroom door.

"What?" I said angrily. Tommy’s voice was soft and he said with some difficulty.

"I need to pee." He pleaded. "Are you going to be long?"

"Probably," I said. "Just come in and pee but don’t be trying to look you perv." Tommy and I had seen each other naked many times. Neither of us were ashamed of our bodies and there really was never any uncomfortable weirdness between us. He slowly entered the bathroom and I heard nothing but silence for quite some time. "I thought you had to pee." I said startling him into quickly trying to explain.

"I’m trying, sorry. I’ll just be a minute." He said in a voice that sounded like he was nearly crying but I could see that he was embarrassed through the chrome of the faucet handle. I moved closer to the mirrored image and saw that my brother was holding onto a throbbing erection and trying to point it at the toilet. I nearly died laughing but knew that if I did, I would be so busted for looking so I sat there watching with my hand over my mouth. He had quite an impressive boner that I had never seen before and I suppose a sister shouldn’t, but I was getting a bit turned on by it. I started to feel a little sorry for him but let him be for the moment and thought maybe a little conversation would help him relax.

"Don’t ever drink vodka." I said to him from behind the shower curtain and then swished a little water around and looked down at my tits. My nipples were harder than I had ever seen them.

"Why?" He asked. "Are you drunk?" I could still see him standing there with his erection in his hand though the image was slightly distorted.

"Close to it, bro!" I said and shook the ice around in the glass and took the last swallow. "This stuff is strong and I got a hell of a buzz." I said with a slight slur that I was faking. I stuck my arm out from behind the shower curtain and teased him. "You need a hand?" I said and laughed holding my hand out. "What’s the matter with you? Cant you pee while I’m in here?"

"It’s not you." He bellowed with frustration. A moment of silence lay upon us and then I felt a slap against my hand but it did not feel like his hand. "I have an issue here." He said worried.

"What the fuck was that?" I said as I angrily slid the curtain back and saw him holding his erection. "Oh no you didn’t!" I said as a warning while I watched him crouch and try to hide himself. He started laughing and shaking his head.

"Oh yes I did." He said between laughs and I began to laugh, too. I slapped him hard on the ass as he was trying to back away. "Ow, dammit!" He cried and grabbed the curtain to roll it back so I couldn’t see him. "What the hell, man, I’m trying to pee!" He said still chuckling. "Nice tits, by the way. For a sister, I guess."

"You asshole!" I screamed and he just laughed louder. "Why do you have a boner, anyway? You perv. Got a thing for your friends downstairs?" I laughed at him.

"We found some porn flick on the dresser in Mom and Dad’s room so we started watching it." He said very frankly but I know that he knew better. Nonetheless I should have never left it out for him to find.

"Great," I said sarcastically. "Now you guys are having a wankfest? You better put that back before Dad finds out you watched it. Is it any good? Are you learning anything?" I asked and laughed.

"Very funny!" Tommy said sarcastically. "I don’t know, I saw a couple of minutes of it and had to pee so I came up here and now I can’t pee so could you please be quiet so I can get this done?" He laughed a little but I’m pretty sure he was serious.

"You don’t need to pee, you need to wack off." I said jokingly but in a serious tone. I sat up and turned sideways in the bathtub, pulled the curtains back again and held my tits in my hands, jiggling them. "Does this help?" I said with a big grin on my face and he turned to me and stared. He grabbed the curtain and flung it back against the wall.

"You are my sister, that’s gross and that doesn’t …..wait…..it’s going down, yes, yes that did help! Sis, you’re a genius! I’ve totally lost my boner. Perfect!" He said from the other side of the curtain but all I heard was silence so I waited a minute.

"You’re lying aren’t you?" I said.

"Yes." He replied. "I hate you. You have awesome tits, dammit. We both laughed and I asked him to hand me a towel which he did promptly. "You getting out?"

"No." I said. "I have an idea and I’m only doing this because I love you." I put the towel over the tub side and placed my tits on the towel. I pulled the curtain up from the floor with my hands and exposed only my tits to Tommy. "There, now jerk off to those puppies." I said holding the bottom of the curtain across my collar bone and waited. I heard a little movement but had no idea what he was really doing. I couldn’t believe it. He was really jerking off to my tits and I could slowly start to hear him slapping away. I started to lift my shower curtain veil to see if I could actually see him masturbating and he was definitely going to town. I kept lifting the veil and figured eventually he would see me trying to look and tell me to cover my face but he never did. I was in awe, no doubt, as I had never experienced such a thing and I just sat there smiling at him and watching him pump his hard cock through his hand.

"Can I do it?" I asked him, only because I was tipsy. I would have never been in this situation if it hadn’t been for that darn vodka.

"What?" He asked. "Are you serious? This is weird as it is." He stopped and put his arms down to his side and he made a strange face. "Sure, I guess. What the hell." He stepped forward slightly pointing his hard shaft at me while I got up on my knees at the edge of the tub. I put my hand slowly around his cock. It wasn’t quite as stiff as it was earlier but it quickly became stiffer as I pulled my hand up to the bottom of his head and squeezed it slightly. By the time I got a really good grip on his staff, it was harder than a rock. I put the curtain behind my head and grabbed the base of his cock with my newly freed hand and put my other hand over the head of his tool. "Spit on your hand." He said to me and I looked up at him in confusion. "I’m serious, spit on your hand and let it slide through."

I gathered up some saliva with my tongue and drew it to my lips, then pushed it all out from between my lips and let it fall to the tip of his big head. I watched as the spit fell onto his helmet and draped down the sides and into the palm of my hand, then I wrapped my hand around his cock and twisted it to get all the juices all over. There was some slick liquid seeping out from the tip of his hole and it seemed to mix with my spit and make it all very slippery. I pushed and pulled his cock in and out of my hand over and over and placed my other hand against his taught stomach. I was just starting to enjoy the feel of his throbbing cock within my fingers and ran my hand across his hip, grabbed his ass cheek and pulled him closer to me, allowing me to push his cock into my cleavage when he started thrusting himself towards me, I grabbed my left breast and pushed it up into his tool while my right hand just kept sliding over his throbbing pipe. I was really getting turned on and looked up at him with a big smile and bit my lower lip. He started shaking and then shouted some explicative when I felt something pelt my upper lip. Startled slightly, I stopped everything I was doing and looked down. Tommy was still pumping his thick cock through my hand and I kept looking around and then saw some thick, white, creamy liquid squirt from the tip of his penis and realized that he was ejaculating.

"Oh, shit Tommy!" I cried and was again rewarded with warm splash of cream on my forehead. I quickly pulled his cock downwards and pointed it at my tits. He quickly snatched his member from my hand and frantically finished himself off, spraying my breasts with his spunk. I watched him breath heavily and stagger backwards, looking at me like I was crazy. "You just sprayed my tits with jizz, don’t look at me like I’m nuts." I said and laughed slightly until he shook his junk at me tossing little droplets into my general direction. I ducked and laughed and threw a washcloth at him. He laughed and pulled his pants up, zippered them and headed out the door. "I laughed again and yelled as he was leaving. "Tell your buddies that your sister is up here and drunk for them to take advantage of."

I lay back into the water and washed the semen off my chest and licked my upper lip wondering what the stuff tasted like. A thick creamy blob pulled off my lip and lay across my tongue. I swished it inside my mouth briefly and was quite surprised at its wonderful texture and sweet taste. I washed my face and lay back realizing that I was out of vodka and didn’t want anymore however I did want to know what was going on downstairs as I heard some laughter and teasing going on so I got up out of the tub and tip toed to the door. I cracked the door open enough to hear what was going on.

"Where ya been?" Cried Billy. "You’re missing everything! This is so awesome! What were you doing, wackin’ off?" Laughter filled the room and all I heard was some mumbling and then Tommy’s voice got quieter.

"My sister is upstairs in the bathtub and she’s drunk, I think." Tommy said. "If you go up there she has the shower curtain open and you can see her tits."

"What? Are you serious?" Billy cried.

" No Way !" Mike whispered.

"I’m serious," said Tommy. "look, one of you go up and act like you need to use the bathroom. If she doesn’t answer, she’s passed out."

I heard the commotion of Mike and Billy arguing over who was going upstairs first and I started getting edgy. I got back into the tub and slid the curtain over just enough to see in, and then I grabbed my eye pack, put it on and lie back. I heard someone creeping up the stairs so I put my elbow on the tub and let my arm fall out into the room. I couldn’t see but I could hear someone slowly open the door. I waited a minute and could feel the presence of someone in the room. It was so hard not to laugh and then I heard the door close completely and the lock engaged. Whoever was in the bathroom had a plan so I waited with my hand unfolded right next to the toilet. Soon, I heard a zipper and then some shuffling and I was cursing the eye pack because I couldn’t see a thing and then something bumped my hand and I quickly moved it unintentionally. Again there was silence but sure as I knew it was going to happen, I felt a warm object on my hand and I slowly closed my hand around it. It was significantly smaller than my brother’s but I started tugging on it anyway.

It didn’t take long for me to figure out someone’s penis was in my hand as it began to grow and before long it was hard as a rock. I drew my hand up to the tip of his little stiffy and twisted my hand around the tip. I had planned on sitting up but before I could even move, his cock started throbbing and I heard a little splatter in the tub. I kept tugging on him and felt the warm liquid working its way down my thumb and then I felt a warm sensation on my nipple. "Bullseye!" I thought to myself and kept my hand clenched around his tool while I was bombarded with little warm droplets everywhere. His ejaculation seemed to go on forever and I thought he would never stop eventually he pulled his little staff from my hand and practically ran out of the bathroom.

I was having way too much fun with this and wondered if Tommy’s other friend was going to make his way up here and if he did, how would I get him to follow through. I rinsed myself off and sat back against the tub and waited but I didn’t hear anyone come up the steps. I sat back against the tub wall and thought of a plan but nothing g came to mind immediately and I heard a little tap at the door.

"Anyone in here?" Mike whispered in a soft tone and began to slowly push the door open. I quickly closed my eyes and pretended to be asleep. I heard the door close and then a quick turn of the lock. I tried to open my eyes just enough to see but only got a vague outline. I let my head fall towards the side of the tub and waited. I heard a zipper and then slight movement but couldn’t really tell what was going on. Soon I heard the shower curtain moving slowly and knew he was checking out my naked body and then I heard his belt and pants hit the floor. I opened one eye and saw him begin to kneel down next to the tub, his cock was half hard and right next to my face. I didn’t want to startle him but staring at his cock which was bigger than my brothers just made me want it in my mouth. I felt him reach out over me and wondered what the hell he was doing and then felt his hand on my breast. Soon the other hand was on my other breast and he was rubbing them gently and getting my nipples erect.

I began to stir in a manner that looked like I was enjoying his touch. He was startled at first but soon realized that he was turning me on. His hands went back to my breasts and I slowly turned sideways in the tub and lay my head back on the edge, arching my back. I grabbed his hand and led it down my stomach into my crotch, hoping he would get the right idea and he certainly did. He came up off his knees slightly, stretching to get at my love nest and I opened my eyes to a view of his erection directly above me. I reached up and grabbed his throbbing cock and pulled t down to my mouth. His fingers were all over my lips and he was thrashing water around going down and up across my clitoris. I stuck my tongue up to reach his cock and started to lick the underneath of his head, bringing it down completely and into my mouth. He pushed it into my mouth and somehow right on down my throat and ten he pulled it out suddenly. I pulled it back down to my mouth but he wouldn’t let me put it back in so I puckered my lips and danced them on the underside of his swollen tool. I quickly grabbed his hands and held them on my clitoris and dug my pelvis into them. A warm flush went through my body and I would not let him move his fingers. He kept them still as wave after wave flushed through me and I had no idea what was happening but if felt great.

A warmth began to flow down my wrist and I opened my eyes. Thick creamy liquid squirted out from between my fingers and I felt him jerk back. I grabbed the head of his cock and tried to lead him to my mouth but he kept backing up. A huge gob of his ejaculate flew from the tip of his cock and I felt it land on the roof of my mouth. He stood up quickly and had a look of astonishment on his face while I was smiling directly at him and he pulled his pants back up as quick as he could flinging the remaining semen onto my neck. Upside down I watched him zip up and practically run out of the bathroom.

I rinsed off again, soaped up, rinsed again, drained the tub and stepped out. Grabbing a towel I wrapped it around myself and headed for bed. I got a great night sleep, too.

I confess I really love to fart. I love farting in crowded locations like the metro or in a bar, dropping a hot little stinker that will surely be experienced by all. I love giving myself a dutch oven in bed because fresh farts are truly delightful. They smell like bacon flavour crisps. But most importantly, I love the feeling of the tickling vibrations on my asshole when I pop them out.
Am I a freak?

I confesss that Ive always known that people thought my mom was hot since she really large breasts and a good figure so i understood why people thought that but tried to not think a about it. She usually covers up around me normally but a few months ago she bent over to clean the oven and i was standing right next to her. She had a lowcut t shirt on that fit loose so i got a really close up look at her boobs without expecting it. And the way she leaned over it looked her tits were going to fall out of her bra. And she was scrubbing the oven so her tits were bouncing a little bit and they looked so big and amazing.

I got so turned on when i saw my moms tits its crazy. And now whenever she goes out she shows a lot of cleevage bc she is single and dating. And now when i think about her having sex with different people it turns me on a lot.

I dont have any good pics that show more of her boobs but i want to take some so i can cum while looking at them. I do have ok ones though

bun in the oven

time we had a really good war just hope this time they stick all Americans in the ovens

Thoughts on YOUR gf Jenna.

I'd like to take her into the basement to my red room. There I'd tie her down to a table, and fuck her holes while she screams. When I finish using up all of her holes. I'd bring out the torch, fork and blade. Use the torch to cook her ass in sections Then cut them off with the knife, and feed her her own ass. When I've got a few big bites taken out. Including a few bites for me. I'll untie her and give her to the homeless group of men who come visit anythime I have a girl over. Let them fuck her until they have beem satisfied. When they are done. We shove her screaming fighting and flailing soon to be corpse into the oven to ve cooked for the homeless to eat. Until i Bring the next girl home. Yours looks delicious

ok im having a little trouble and need some advice, whats the best bit of a human to eat and how long in the oven best temperature?
having some guests round for dinner tomorrow and want to surprise them...

Well Thanksgiving is almost upon us ,and its time to talk Turkey, so ..........

EATING PUSSY

About 3 years ago I purchased a Turkey from a neighbor down the road. It was a hen . I brought her home, took her out back , and fixed her up a pin. I also named her . Pussy. That was the name given. Well , turkeys get big , and 3 years went by quickly. If you were to see the bird today , you would think , "what a big pussy" . And in the summer you would just say ," ew, what a stinky pussy." My family has been struggling financially, and we didn't have much as far as groceries. So while my wife was at work, and the kids were in school, I went out back, took pussy , and wrung her neck. Cleaned her , took her in the kitchen, and put her in the oven to bake. As I did so , I realized how attached I was to that bird. I was gonna miss that pussy. Just as the wife and kids were due to arrive, a couple of buddies stopped by to check on me. As we were talking they smelled something cooking and asked me what was for dinner? I told them I was eating pussy for dinner , at which they both laughed, and asked if they could join me. I put on as serious a face as I could muster, and I told them ,you can stay for dinner, but you need to have your own pussy. That pussy was bought and paid for. If anyone was gonna enjoy that pussy, it would be me. I sure did get a chuckle watching my wife eat pussy. Happy Thanksgiving.

I work at KFC

At no point during the chicken's existence is "Grill Chicken" ever grilled.

The chicken comes in not cooked, with grill marks already on it. We then cook it in the oven.