Motherless needs a soft reboot as a website.

The fact that so many posts disappear in the void between pages 1 and 2 and has for years without being addressed is annoying.

Beyond that accounts arbitrarily being banned and deleted without reason by mods that hide behind anonymity without ever showing themselves is deeply troubling and indicative of the culture that has grown and fostered over the last nearly 20 years that I have been frequenting this website. I have only ever seen one account labeled as a mod and I can't imagine with the traffic that comes through here and the amount of content and posters that are deleted regularly that it's just one person who administers for the entire site. I'd like to call on motherless to make changes towards more transparency of who the mods are and hold them accountable for what they do, or the lack there of. A new system needs to be instituted giving account holders a reason why an account gets deleted, either by disabling am accounts ability to post, create, or add content pending a requested review of why that account was disabled at the request of the owner or an email sent to the address associated with the account giving people some sort recourse against the faceless mod community. I know motherless experiences a high traffic volume as a website and that's what has kept these policies in place for so long without any real recourse because of motherless's motto of being "a moral free website where anything legal posted is hosted forever" which isn't actually true.

I do love motherless and I do love frequenting this site but the latest incident of having my account deleted for no obvious reason, I wasn't not posting anything against you or replying to posts that violate tos, makes me reconsider the time I've spent in this community and on this site. If motherless does have an actual lack of mods or people to work in those positions I would gladly volunteer my time and effort to make and keep this website to the highest standard that it can be without arbitrarily handing out bans without reason and I'm sure that there are many members both current and former that would volunteer their time too.

I would say without these changes motherless will die but that would be an exaggeration for the most part as I'm sure that motherless will continue to exist with the lure of it being "a moral free zone" for quite some time but I can say that a lot of great posters and content have left the site once people get tired of how they're treated. Maybe it's all just a slow death but it's also a needless one as there is great potential here. I'm sure this will be deleted given how I am calling out issues with the site and and staff trying to bring them to the forefront by some nameless mod but let's try as a community to come together, keep this relevant and list our issues and grievances in the comments to try to bring about change to make this website the best on the Internet it can be. Thank you for your time if you read this.

A confession? Sure. I am near death but still healthy. I have cancer and it is terminal. I have 4 main confessions for you. One at a time though. Just to gauge interest.
I'm not a typical person, I suppose. For one, I am very tall at 6'5". I am Native American, Cree to be precise. I got married young but like my dad, I'm a flirt. And like my dad, I will be gone too early. Same disease, different types. I weighed about 260 lbs at this juncture. Facebook was relatively new and of course we added it to our tools of communication. Family from long distance, the kids, old friends from school. It is a handy tool.
Like I said, our children were in our contacts. My second oldest had graduated and was killing time till secondary schooling. I was still working at the time and only seen the kids around suppertime.
My presence on FB was a funny one I guess. I posted my thoughts and people thought they were funny. I also posted music from YouTube, songs of my youth mostly. I was quite amused to hear that my daughter (18) and her friends read my posts and listened to my posted music. I was very surprised when one of daughters friends contacted me on messenger.
It was innocent at first, I like to believe. She was big into music as was I. Emm was a beautiful girl. Came from a good family. I didn;t know her parents but I knew of them. If this story has any interest I have a few pics I can share. Tasteful but nude.
One evening I posted some Simon and Garfunkel. Soon enough Emm slid into my messenger. "Would you be my Mr. Robinson?" I lolled back at her. For I was taken aback. Then she sent me a picture of her at that moment. I was floored. She had the most fantastic body. Albeit a little skinny, you could tell she would be an absolutely beautiful woman. We exchanged more messages and she sent me more pictures. It all culminated at a football game. It was planned.
It was at her home.Her parents were at the game too.
As I stepped in she pressed herself against me. It flowed so natural and easy. She was a virgin but knew what she wanted. Or thought she wanted. I ate her for the first 30 minutes. She came twice. She tried to take me in her mouth. It was a fine try. We hugged and kissed, I placed her on top of me. Hands roaming, feeling that body, she's practically writhing on me. Her knees come to my sides and I feel her moist heat on my crotch. My cock jerks in anticipation. She brings her arms in, underneath her body, on my chest. Her butt rises. I place my cock at her entrance. She bares down, mewling and moaning. Such a sexy sound. I break through. We stop and kiss. I hold her head and look into her eyes. I push in more. That face. So lustful.
Despite the head I cum pretty quick. But she is not disappointed. We got together 4 more times after that before she left for Uni. We still talk every now and again. She still loves my posts. She has a new guy. Roughly the same age as me and he seems pretty cool. No hate, only good memories.
Pics if requested.

When I was younger and chatrooms were still popular, I spent some time on Yahoo in local, state chatrooms. I chatted with a few women over the years, but had never worked up the courage to actually meet one in person. The internet still had a stigma attached to it back then and I guess I was just afraid of the potential consequences.

When I was 22, I began having a conversation with a 40 year old, married mom whom lived about an hour and a half from me. Her children were older so they were rarely home and her husband was deployed to Afghanistan. She told me that their relationship had been slowly deteriorating for months. She said the few times that she would get to talk to him, it often ended in an argument and that they were most likely headed for divorce once he returned home permanently.

She was a beautiful woman. She told me that before her husband had left, she was a bit heavier, but had worked her tail off to lose the extra weight. By the time we began chatting, she was down to I’d guess around 130 pounds—perfect for her five foot, seven inch frame.

We chatted for several weeks and would occasionally use the webcam. Webcam technology was still pretty new and the image was always laggy and blurry with no sound. As our conversations became more intimate, I would ask for her to show me different things. She was hesitant to show me her breasts. She explained how the weight loss had taken its toll on them. Reluctantly, she showed me. While I thought she was gorgeous either way, she was right. The radical change to her body had done wonders in other places, but the opposite was true in others.

One day, after having been absent from Yahoo Messenger for a few days, she hopped on and said that she was sorry that she had been away. She said that she had had some surgery and wanted to show me something. She turned on her webcam and proceeded to take off her shirt and bra to show me that she had gotten breast implants. Like I said, I thought she was beautiful before, but now every inch of her body was perfect. She would definitely be causing heads to turn everywhere she went.

She told me that I was the first to see them and that she hoped I would see them in person someday. We exchanged phone numbers and within a day or two she texted me to tell me that she was in town to pick up her husband from the airport. His plane would not be coming in until the next day. She had gotten a hotel room downtown and had nothing to do so she wanted to know if I would want to meet to have coffee or something. I agreed to the meeting, despite being nervous as hell.

We had planned to meet at Starbuck’s. It was my hope to get their first simply so she would have to come up to me as I was scared to death to have to come up to her. When I arrived, I was too late. I could see her standing at the counter waiting for her order, but I could really only see her from the side. As I approached the counter from behind her, I heard the kid working the register tell her how beautiful she looked. She said thank you and turned around to see me standing there nervously. My jaw nearly hit the floor. She was stunning! She wore a tight tank tope that amplified her already amazing cleavage. She was also wearing those sexy, cat-eye glasses that I absolutely love on girls.

We awkwardly hugged and I placed my order before joining her out on the patio. We made small talk for well over an hour. It was getting later in the afternoon—early evening. I asked if she wanted to go somewhere and get some dinner. She agreed so we walked a few blocks to a nice Italian restaurant where we had a nice dinner and a few drinks. We continued to make small talk for another good while before I finally paid the check and waited to see where things went next.

I nearly jumped for joy when she asked if I would like to go back to her hotel room and order a movie or something. We walked to her hotel and as we were going up the elevator, yet another guy commented on how beautiful she was. He looked at me jealously as if he knew what was going through my mind.

We entered the room and we both made ourselves comfortable on the bed. She turned on the TV and began searching the pay-per-view titles for a movie to watch. She could’ve turned on anything at that point—I didn’t care. She picked a movie and we began to watch. While I do remember the name of the movie, I couldn’t tell you anything about it as my mind was racing a hundred miles an hour.

We lay there for about forty-five minutes to an hour in silence—except for me getting up to go to the bathroom every ten minutes because I was so damn nervous. Finally, I figured it was now or never so I gently began to caress her cheek with the back of my hand before leaning over and kissing her. This lead to a very passionate make out session before I asked if I could finally see the work that she done.

She lifted her shirt over her head and I wrapped my arms around her back to unclasp her bra. I threw it to the floor, exposing the biggest, most perfect pair of breasts that I had ever been this close to. I asked if I could touch them or if they still hurt too much for them to be handled. She said that she had taken some painkillers as soon as we returned to the room so it would be fine. I gently placed my hands on them being very careful not to be too rough. However, she insisted that she was fine and such delicate care was not required. I continued to fondle her as we kissed, our tongues swirling in and out of each other’s mouths. I lowered my head and carefully licked her breasts, churning my tongue around her nipples.

She told me to lie back and relax. She removed her shorts leaving on the lacey, pink panties that she wore. She undid my belt, unbuttoned my jeans and slowly slid down my zipper. She was somewhat surprised by the fact that I wasn’t wearing underwear, but this only slowed her a second as she took my cock in to her hand. She stroked it gently before lowering her head to give it a lick. She slid her tongue down the length of it stopping at the base to take my balls in to her mouth. She slid back up and whirled her tongue around the head before finally taking the whole thing in to her mouth.

It was pure ecstasy! I had never felt anything like this—the things she could do with her tongue! I desperately tried to recite baseball statistics in my head to keep from cumming too soon so that I could enjoy this for as long as possible. I gave the best effort that I could before finally exploding in to her mouth. It was the most intense orgasm I had ever had. She swallowed it all and smiled as she came up and rested her head on my chest. She must have been able to feel how fast my heart was racing.

We laid there for a few minutes. The entire time she was gently playing with my now soft cock in her hand. After a few minutes, I was hard again and she began stroking me harder. I tried to slide my hand into the front of her panties, but she cut me off and resisted my advance. I told her how bad I wanted to fuck her. She said that she wanted me too, but unfortunately, it was just not a convenient time of the month to do so. So she continued to just stroke my cock for a few minutes.

I was as hard as a rock; throbbing in her hand when suddenly, she stopped and excused herself to the bathroom. I hedged my bets and assumed this was simply and excuse to make preparations as she wanted to fuck as badly as I did. I reached down and took my wallet from my pants that were still lying on the end of the bed. I removed one of the condoms that I had bought on my way to meet her in hopes that something like this would happen. I had been so nervous about what this encounter would be like that I bought those condoms with the desensitizing lubricant to help ensure that you can last longer. I took one and placed it on the corner of the nightstand.

A moment later she returned from the bathroom, having removed the pair of panties that had blocked me from getting to her pussy earlier. She was ready, and so was I. She noticed the condom that I had placed on the nightstand. Standing next to the bed, she took the condom and unrolled it down my penis before climbing on top of me and guiding me in to her pussy.

We fucked forever—in every position imaginable. If it hadn’t been for the extended pleasure condom; I know I only would have lasted a couple of minutes, if not a few seconds. I eventually reached the point where I desperately wanted to cum, but the condom was working all too well. I knew that if I kept it on, I was never going to climax.

Remembering one of our more intimate conversations from Yahoo, I knew that doggy style was her favorite position so I asked if we could do that next. She happily climbed up on all fours and I took my position behind her, discreetly removing the condom in the process. We were facing the mirror so I could see the look on her face as I slid my now naked cock inside of her. She could tell right away what I had done, but didn’t seem inclined to care. I began thrusting harder and harder and told her that I was going to cum. In the slightest whimper, she said, “I want you to cum inside me, baby.”

That was the moment of no return as I thrust my cock one last time and pulled her as close I could by her ass. I unloaded inside of her before we both finally collapsed on the bed. We continued to lie there, now in the dark; kissing and fondling each other before finally falling asleep in each other’s arms.

We spent the entire next day texting back and forth about the encounter and how incredible it had been for both of us. Later that week, she told me that she was going to be coming back to the city to return her husband to the airport. She asked if she could stay with me once she was rid of him. At this point in time I had just returned home from college and was still living with my parents. I was too embarrassed to tell her, so I essentially just dodged the question and explained that I would be busy. Our messages became fewer and fewer over the next couple of days before just finally ending altogether.

To this day, I still think about this night and recreate it in my mind. About a year ago, right before my own wedding, I decided to see if I could find her. All I had to go on was a first name, an old cell phone number that was no longer in service, and the screen name she had used on Yahoo Messenger.

After some creative Googling, I managed to find her Facebook profile. I discovered that she was now living in another state as her husband had been reassigned. They were still married; apparently living much happier than she was at the time of our meeting. I sent her a friend request, but she never responded. I took this to mean that it was best to leave well enough alone. I still check in on her Facebook page from time to time. I have since learned that her son is right around my age and that her daughter, only a couple of years younger than me, is as gorgeous as her mother.

I wish that I could simply tell her how much that night meant to me, but I wouldn’t want to risk jeopardizing her marriage or my own. I am left with the lasting memory in the back of my mind and very few days pass that I do not recall that evening and wish that I would have met her again the following week like she wanted to.

I confess my breasts swelled and pussy soaked as I choked my GF near to death as she gasped, twitched, and jumped between my legs, her head resting on my tummy.

Sherry and the beach party

Sherry is a 26 year old woman, kind of plain, and chubby. She works at a Dinner, she has not had many dates as most see her and just pass her by. She is one of those that are here but no one pays munch attention to.

So When Jim started to talk to her, and come to her table at the dinner, she was delighted, he had even asked her to movies, and out to dinner, she grew to trust jim. Little did she know that jim had planes for her.

They had not gotten romantic yet other than some petting and kissing, she hoped that they would have sex at some time soon, but it just did not seem to be the right time. She did enjoy when jim played with her breast, making her nipples hard.

The summer stretched on, and near the end of August, jim told her about a beach party that he and his fraternity held each year at the lake. He told her there would be food, drink, some wild partying and a bonfire to finish off the weekend. He thought to himself that she is perfect for there party.

Sherry told jim yes she would love to go, and she had not met any of his fraternity brothers or there girls. She decided to go to the mall and get new outfit for the party. She was hoping that this would be a week end of sex and fun, so she went to Victoria’s secret, and bought matching bra and panties, sexy shorts and a blouse, all saying come get me, she smiled as she looked at them and was dreaming of a fun weekend.

The weekend came and jim picked up Sherry, and let her know she was looking so good in her new outfit, they were getting to the lake for the last day of the gathering, he explained to sherry that every one brought a donation to the bonfire, she assumed his was in the trunk, they drove, for hours, and finely got to the gathering, it was still early, and she enjoyed drink and food, the other girls there commented on her shorts and blouse, Sherry was so pleased, she had never had so munch attention paid to her.

As it got near sunset, the group started to pile bundles around a stake, for the bonfire, all the men and women there built up the pyre, Sherry looked at jim, and asked what was he going to pile on, he looked at her and said You!

It took a moment for it to sink in, then she said, what you mean ME? He told her that he was going to put her on the pyre, and that she was going to be this years offering, he explaned to her that each year they burn a woman as a offering for a good year to come.

Sherry, screamed, but I don’t want to die or be burned! About than, four men, grabed her, and took her to the pyre, as she kicked and struggled, she was taken up, to the top, and her hands clasped into hand cuffs, she was than left to stand, no other bindings. She twisted and turned; looking around, crying, please don’t do this!

The group gathered, at the pyre, Sherry seen two cameras set up, , one was already filming, as it caught her being taken to the pyre. She struggled and begged to be freed, she was sweeting, and having trouble controlling her breathing as she was screamingShe seen Jim, and begged him to not hurt her, she offered all that she had, including herself to not be burned to death. He just smiled and she seen him toss her over night bag, and purse on the pyer, jim saying you wont need this any longer.

She was standing there, watching them light the torches to be used to light the pyre, jim was watching her, as she wet her self, soaking her shorts, and streams of pee running down her legs. He smiled at her fear.

Jim asked her if she was ready to die, she screamed NO! GOD NO !!, with that jim and three others shoved the torches into the pyre, the flames, started to grow fast. as the wood and kindling was all dry

The flames spread around the pyre, and started to rise toward her, she stomped her feet, at the burning bundles, She screamed as the flames were wrapping around her shoes, and lapping at her cafes. Her screams became intense with the unbearable pain. Her begging to be freed was ignored., the fire grew, and was scorching her thighs, she was moving from side to side trying to free her self from the flames, but they are all around her there is no relife. as the skin turned red than blistered her screams become primal. Her shorts had dried and now turned brown and ignited, burning her sex, the sex she had hoped to have was sex with the fire. She banged her head on the post as the flames climbed her body, burning away the shorts and blouse leaving her near nude, her body sweating and seeping fat ,her sweet and fat from her skin was dripping into the flames creating flare ups, her breast now burning, the screaming changes to a mumble than nothing, as her blonde hair erupts as her head falls forward.

The group all thank Jim for the offering, as the fire finishes sherry. Jim turns to the camera men, asks if they got all the shots, both men smiled, as jim told them he already had a buyer for the film, and it would finance the group for the year, Sherry had no idea she had been chosen to be a sacrifice and the main event for a snuff film.

Sculpting An Ice Queen
Assistant District Attorney Alexandra Cabbot sat at the bar in a sports bar named Brad's with a distinct Bradley Cooper theme. She had read an article about the place and thought it was perfect to hunt for a man. It wasn't one of her local haunts, or a place she frequents with coworkers; rather no one here knew her reputation as the ice queen. In college she was so focused determined to become a lawyer who put the scumbags away, she missed out on all the debauchery common to college students. And work kept her very busy, so busy that she was 34 years old when words like, "When are you going to take time out to build a family?" began to take effect. Sure she dated whenever she could, and was by no means any virgin, but her last relationship last three months and that was back when she was 32.
Now she was one month past 40, sitting in what had become a gay bar since the end of football season, remembering the girl’s night out she had last month with coworkers.
First Det. Amanda Rollins, the newest officer assigned to the special victims unit. She's a natural blonde originally from Georgia with a mouth that shoots just as straight as her gun.
Second was Dr. Melinda Warner,the medical examiner. Warner often works with Manhattan's Special Victims Unit by providing the detectives with forensic evidence to support their cases. She was a doctor in the United States Air Force, and served two tours of duty at Ramstein Air Base during the Gulf War before she began work as a medical examiner in NYC.
Lastly was Det. Olivia Benson, Sergeant of the SVU. Her dark hair and dark eyes match her often dark mood.
Alex was lean and worked very hard to maintain a body that would make swimsuit models green with envy. She also spent hundreds of dollars keeping her hair blonde and straight. She was smart, she could take a good joke, she like sports even, but couldn't land a man. Why? This is what she asked her friends that night.
"I dunno," Rollins murmured looking for support, for a way to sugar coat it, "nine times outta ten, when a man finds out what I do for a livin'," she paused to sip her Miller Genuine Draft beer, "they're either scared out of their minds, or so aroused it sickens me."
Benson weighed in with her normal banalities, that have been told to her so many times over. "There are other fish in the sea, there's someone for everyone, everyone has cold spells…” etc.
But Alex wasn't trying to hear that, not that night. Then Warner said what they'd all been thinking for the last six years.
"Alex, we love you but honey, it's hard to find a man when you don't make the time. There are 168 hours in every given week, now if you work 50, sleep 56, and exercise 7 that only leaves 55." before Alex could continue Warner held up her sex on the beach neat to stop her before continuing
"Minus 7 hours for meals, another seven for shopping, travel, and hair."
Alex had to chime in, "41 hours a week left, plenty of time."
But Warner continued, "Yes, but given the fact you don't date on work nights, 36 of those hours are wiped out. How can you expect to make a relationship work if you can only invest five hours a week to it?"
Those words still haunt Alex, so she decided to, put herself back out there, patronizing a different bar every Saturday night since, with no success.

The next Monday was routine, but Tuesday she had an interview with a member of the Armenian Mob. Goran Jubale was awaiting trial for his hand in a double homicide. He came to SVU attention when the local Armenian Mob was brought down due to increased attention to the human trafficking problem. The head of the Mob, Barka "The Dagger" Karyo was anticipating Goran to fall on his sword for the mob. Cabbot expected that was what this meeting was about.

The first thing Cabbot noticed was his attorney was not present. The second thing she noticed was beneath his rugged good looks, was a handsome young man. She instantly regretted wearing a skirt, and sought to end this as quickly a possible.
"So, Mister Jubale, I take it you're here to confess to all the crimes committed by your boss Barka Karyo?"
"Nope." He replied in clear, but accented English,
"I was arrested first, and it's expected of me to do so, but this I cannot do." Alex straightened her glasses and replied,
"Then why am I here?" to which he smiled, the kind of smile that let's one get away with wrecking your car, and said, "I'm here to offer you a full confession in exchange..."
"In exchange for immunity? leniency? deportation? In case you forgot we've got you for murder." Alex cut him off because she noticed how he leered at her. He was unfazed,
"Nothing so...selfish. When I spoke to the SVU detectives they informed me most of the girls, either taken or brought in are hooked on drugs or raped if not both! This could easily have been my sister, my daughter! No Ms. Cabbot, all I ask for in exchange is that you share the little death with me."

Taken aback, Alex asked him to clarify, despite the fact there was no need. Goran responded as though something was lost in translation, "Share the orgasm with me and you'll get your confession." The ethical and moral obligations race through her mind. It took her 47 seconds to respond with, "You're hardly in any position to negotiate."
But that damn smile again followed by, "True, at some point I'll either be deported or executed. I also know that someone in the mob gave many girls the clap that I do not have. Your ‘em eee’ Warner will confirm this. I also know who in the mob did, for I took him to get it cleared up. I know which hospital he used and which alias he checked in under. You can get this child rapist of the streets. Is what I ask all that unappealing? It's not like I could escape during the act, I'm handcuffed to this chair. There are no eyes or ears in this room, client privilege and all. The only persons who would know is me and you."

Alex looked at the door then back at Goran, and felt her panties moisten at the thought. First she took off her heels and approached him, there was an overt bulge on his inner right thigh. Before she realized it she was running a finger across her lips; and he was smiling that damn smile again. The kind of smile a child gives you when they flushed your passport down the toilet. Before her rational mind could scream at her, she was helping him out of his orange jumpsuit, pulling down his white briefs, to reveal what she wanted. A 22 cm uncircumcised cock with a lion's mane of dark pubic hair, throbbing in the air, a droplet of pre-cum seeping from the tip. First she sheepishly stroked the cock like it was her first time with one, then it was in her mouth. Just the head at first, Alex was intimidated by the thickness of it. It reminded her of a certain cock she encountered in college but that is a tale for another day.

Goran's grunt when her tongue found it's way under his hood gave alex encouragement to increase speed and depth. Soon his grunts and moans were muted by her slurping noises. she felt him tense up as she deep throated him, getting her nose to his wild pubic mound. She held it there for three seconds then slowly took her mouth off of it. Goran's expression and heavy breathing suggested despite his good looks, he hadn't been laid in quite some time. She took his balls into her mouth though they were hairier then she would have normally liked, as she took off her lavender panties and fingered her oozing hair cunt. Goran shifted in his chair as best he could to expose his anus to Alex, into which went her left middle finger as her mouth and right hand attacked the cock again, with noisy rabid strokes, intending to make him cum. But he didn't, not even when she added her ring finger to his ass. Finally she stopped, stood, and hiked her skirt up to her waist revealing the thick black bush that proved Alex dyed her hair on a weekly basis. She hesitated at the sight of the small puddle her pussy left on the concrete floor, then mounted him. She slowly inserted the cock into her snatch and nearly came. Her strokes started slow, giving her pussy time to stretch around the cock, and when she felt comfortable with began to go faster and harder. Like a woman fucking what may be her last dick ever she was grinding on him, trying to fuck every square cm of his prick. Her moans became loud and louder as the sound of their thighs slapping together muted his grunts and non-English words of encouragement. Her daily workouts were finally paying off. Somewhere in a string of broken English Goran informed her he was about to cum. Alex adroitly hopped of the cock and had it back in her mouth, right hand pumping furiously on the veiny shaft. Just as she was thinking, "My pussy tastes good..." he exploded into her mouth. She tried to swallow it all, but there was just too much of it and it spilled out of her mouth onto his untamed pubic hair. She pushed Goran's chair onto it's back and lowered her cunt onto Goran's mouth. He sucked her clit with a skill and passion that no man or woman had ever used on her before. Her moans were so loud that Alex had to cover her mouth with her hands, which made it difficult to balance. She came so hard there was an audible splash on the floor. Goran began coughing and choking on the amount of pussy juice that rushed into his mouth, but he recovered. It took Alex nine minutes to gather the strength to upright Goran and redress. his face glistening with her love juices, his cock growing hard and erect again. She stroked it with her hands and smiled.
"I may need to take a statement from you once or twice a week." She said.

found out im hiv positive. when i got it was during a week of smoking meth and bouncing on a bunch of dicks. 10-15 of them. its likely I didnt get it from the very last guy. I notice the last two specifically are not on dating sites anymore... I had clean paperwork from the previous test so they were not concerned. I cant tell anyone that i have it, because even if they gave it to me its too easy to say i gave it to them and it could cause me problems. good news is i have learned something new that will help people that dont know. there is a drug you can get within 72 hours of exposure to hiv that can keep you from getting it. you have to contact Aids Health Foundation to find out where to get that near you. if you do not have hiv you should look for this place so if you get exposed you know exactly what to do. it is your only chance to not get it. i got it because my favorite way to enjoy sex is the most likely way to get it. i dont care what your judgements are. I got it from guys i met on grindr. I think one of them had it and didnt know. I came back clean on all other stds. i have only used meth a very short time in my life and i started it because i was hella lonely and went to a gangbang and they said i had to smoke to kick it. enjoy your day because i now think of death when i used to think of sex.

Confession and would like your thoughts.

After about 40 years, I recently found and was able to talk with one of first crushes in life. We met in 2nd grade and finally went our ways after high school. We were best friends but never dated.  Anyway we both went through the death of a spouse and remarried again. After all these years we connected again through another close friend that found both of us. Anyway we talked for hours and found out that we are both in dead marriages, she is with an alcoholic who spends all his time on a hobby she is uninterested in. I'm with a good woman who has retreated from life, plays nothing but computer games and lost all interest in sex years ago. Anyway, well into our conversation I admitted that she had been some a huge and best friend beyond what she probably ever imaged. She was the only girl that stood by me and visited when I was hospitalized for a year. Finally, during the conversation, I admitted that my biggest regret was that during those years I could never muster the simple courage to ask her out or try for the "girlfriend". That year in hospital really destroyed me for a long time. Later, I regained my life and went on. Anyway, after I told her about my "failure" she paused and said i would have said yes and actually wanted that! All this years of secrets.... We are keeping in contact and she is hoping to visit family near me. Really don't have any idea of where this might go. Not into just fucking over our spouses but seems there is little in either of our relationships.
Thoughts or comments?

I think it's hysterical that people come on a site called motherless, a site that boasts being a moral free zone and then bitch about it (and this site actually isn�t, they delete shit all the time). So what if it doesn't excite you, 90% of the shit on here doesn't excite me, so I just don't click on it, I just go for what I like. I know people do shit like this, complain and play high morality, for attention and/or to just be annoying just to get a rise out of people, and my posting this is just a waste of time and feeds into it, but I'm hammered and felt like commenting, hahaha!

I'm not into death, killing, interracial, fat chicks, shitting, BDSM, pain, animals, so I don't bother clicking on those links and I certainly don't play moral high ground or any of that shit. I like the cute girls (with woman parts), no tattoos, age isn't a big concern so long as they are physically matured so to speak. It's not like you can ask for an ID, haha, a beautiful girl is just that, there�s no need to freak out over it.

Well, I'm sure near everyone agrees with this post, I mean the sentiment not necessarily my interests, thanks for reading! After more than a few beers, I was happy to say my piece of mind, hahaha!

Here's a copy of my first short that I posted in another thread

It a rather dark one :*

As soon as she agreed to come in for a night cap, he knew she was his, it was just a matter of slipping that little something into her drink. He slipped his arm around her and started to gently kiss her neck as she sipped the cognac, she started to moan with pleasure as his free hand gently caressed her body and her glass slip from her hand as she drifted into unconsciousness.

He gently lifter her up and carried her down to his ‘special’ room; lying her on the bed he carefully started to undress her, savouring every moment as he slowly revealed her smooth young body. The gentle swell of her breasts and the cherry red of her pert nipples started to arouse him; breathing deeply he gently removed her panties to reveal the most perfect pussy, he let his fingers slide along her slit; he pulled back and took another deep breath “patience” he whispered to himself “I must savour this delightful woman”.

He quickly fastened the cuffs around her wrists and ankles pulling the cords tight so as to leave her spread-eagled on the bed. He sat down in the chair by the bed and thought “now to wait for her to wake”

He sat reading and sipping his cognac and quickly became aware of her struggling against her bonds, he could see real fear in her eyes, which excited him; “I see you’re awake” he said softly, “don’t worry, nothing has happened, yet; I wouldn’t want you to miss a second of this delightful experience”

He stood and removed his cloths picking up a vibrator that was lying on the table. He was already hard as the sight of her tied, helpless on the bed excited him; he approached her and let the vibrator slide over her body, watching her flinch as it touched her nipples and pussy. Putting it aside he grasped her breasts, squeezing them together and pinching her nipples between thumb and forefinger, delighting in the small yelp that it caused. “make as much noise as you want my dear, it’s quite sound proof down her” he mocked. Bending down he kissed her lightly on the lips and ran his tongue along her check to lick her earlobe and neck, delighting in her attempts to pull away from him. He let his tongue slide over her chest to lick around her nipples, sucking hard on each, again eliciting a delightful yelp of erotic pain. “What shall we do now”, he questioned, “Shall we play some more? Or would you like this all to end, quickly? No, I think I want to Fuck you as I see the light flicker out in your eyes” his hand slid down, over her stomach, his palm pressing against her pussy lips, one finger probing gently at her slit. “It seems you are quite wet, and I thought you weren’t enjoying this” he quipped. He pressed a second finger inside her and worked his hand, delighting at how wet she was and how she started to squirm against his hand.
For the next few hours, she endured his attention, he licked and touch, he pinched and massaged, he probed and penetrated; he lost count of the number of times that she came; and thought it quite incredible how easy it was to make her cum as he raped her body. Then, finally, it was time. “I have quite enjoyed our time together, but it is now time for you to go”. At last, it was time to really enjoy her body, he climbed onto the bed and kneeling between her thighs he leant forward and pressed his manhood into her, filling her completely. “how does it feel good to have a real Cock in your tight little Cunt” he whispered, as he pressed himself deeper inside her until he felt his balls slapping against her arse. Faster and harder he pumped his manhood into her, whispering to her as he went “It is time for you to die, one last orgasm for you as you feel me fill your body with my seed”. He reached over and picked up the knife lying on the table, he placed the tip of it just under her breast bone, her body squirming against him as he pumped his cock harder and harder into her, he could feel her pussy pulsating against his cock as she neared that final orgasm; finally he felt his balls tighten as his own orgasm spewed his seed deep inside her and he pushed down hard on the knife, pressing it deep into her body, sliding it up and into her hart, he held her tightly “shush, shush my dear, it won’t be long now, feel my seed filling you as your life drains away” he gazed into her eyes as he felt her body quivering in both orgasm and death, watching the life fade from her.

He pulled his cock from her pussy and stood staring at her soft delicate body, taking hold of the knife he dragged it down her body until the blade stopped against her pelvis, leaving her gaping open from chest to cunt. What a delightful evening, he mused.

I confess that I cast a spell to win the lottery but found a treasure instead…
 It was not but before yesterday. The lottery jackpot was outrageously high. I had attempted earlier with my girlfriend to produce enough loosh to manifest some winning numbers. We yielded no positive results for lottery but I enjoyed our endeavors. 
 I knew if we were to stand a chance of creating any real Sex Magik, we would need more willing bodies. People that entertained a certain type of magical thinking. Likely of the Cluste-B variety..
 I created a new profile on a popular alternative hook-up app. The profile pics were nothing particularly spectacular, but I thought they communicated a certain air of a couple that were secure with themselves. The bio though, was a simple short blurb advertising my intent. I didn’t fuck around with straight couples or bullshit bicurious single males. I wanted cock and pussy. I was going to have a fucking full swap or an orgy.
 The bio detailed my plan. All participants agree upon a shared set of lottery numbers. We then set upon each other with carnal lust and the appropriate Will and invoke our manifestation. “Should we fail to produce the lottery numbers”, I penned, “we would still win in the end”.
 The last part was an extremely dry joke but it was brought up later. 
 I actually received quite a few responses but most were single men. Eventually I received a message from a person I will call Jack. Jack had wife named Jill. Jack started sending me pictures faster than I could send mine back. I was afraid I wasn’t sending enough of my gf and too many of my cocklet and I. Jack didn’t mind though. Jack thought that was just fine.
 We set up a place for the four of us to meet. I always vet people out before I stick my dick into them or their’s into me. I have a sensitive barometer for people I fucking hate and so I like to sniff new prospects out before I take them home or to a hotel.
 I had cleared the entire thing with my girlfriend before I ever ran the add on the bio but given the small community we live in, and the troubles we have had before in finding swinging bi couples, she was very surprised at how fast I had arranged such a meeting. It made her nervous for the entire day.
 My gf and I arrived at the agreed meeting place before Jack and Jill. It wasn’t quite six in the evening but it was already dark. The other couple were more than fashionable late. My gf was practically frantic from the anxiety she felt. She usually feels some anxiety on the first meeting when we swing but this was extraordinary. It highly uncharacteristic of her.
 When they arrived I suggested we all just pile into my truck for the warmth. Jack and Jill were agreeable to that and we all climbed inside the cab. Jack liked my truck and tried to engage me a little on the topic of diesel engines and vehicle models like mine. I fained little knowledge. I was more interested in fucking his hole. I mean, his wife was okay, but I liked this man from the moment I smelled him. But I would soon cum to see how very much, Jack was absolutely insane.
 At first, there was some back and forth between the four of us but it would not be long before Jack would rise to dominate the conversation totally and I was in awe at the spectacle of him. He was a juggernaut that could not be stopped. Holy shit. He was a bit shorter than me and had a muscular build. Probably procured through hard work rather than lifting weights. He wore a fleece cap but I expected a cowboy hat. He a chiseled jaw with a cleft chin. He was very handsome.
 Jill was closer to our age. She was probably your typical bpd nympho. A body of about  average but very large breasts. Scandinavian with Irish maybe? Doesn’t really matter, she had large breasts. Very fuckable in my book. Her fantasies were very dark I think. Definitely lots of psychological damage. Large breasts though. Jack would tweak on her nipples as I sometimes managed to chime in. It was very distracting in the most delicious of ways. Did I mention that her breasts were rather large? She wanted dicks rubbing together inside her. Actually I wanted that, but I knew she would have enjoyed it.
 Jack wasn’t a total dick though. He had method to his maddness. As he attempted to dazzle my gf and I with his strange stories and exploits of himself he left small oppenings. He found out quite a bit more than I tried to let on. He was much more cleaver than one might initially assume by his antics.
 Jack began to regail us with stories of killing, incest, rape, sex torture, squirting, marijuana omnitopical, drugs, his construction career, his pro-rodeo career , his porn career,he was a veteran,  how he hated his mom (I guess?), more incest,his ties to mafia, the finer points of leather stitching and yet more incest.
 Also, he only bottemed unless, “the dude was a chick”. My girlfriend looked right at me as he said that. I knew what she was thinking. I was thinking the same thing. 
 Actually, I was thinking about something totally different than her. I had been watching far too many youtube videos about people psychological problems. I had found out what type of crazy people with traits like myself find appealing. Jack was prime specimen of what is supposed to get my juices flowing. I think that youtube is right. 
 With every story, my gf became more and more apprehensive. They mentioned god 11 times. She counted. Every other story was a burning red flag. “These people are fucking kray kray!”, she said to me without speaking. Sure, the story about the squirting sex slave and tarp over the matress seemed funny at fist. But they sorta lost my gf’s interest when the said they had to beat the shit out of her and take her to a mental hospital. Because they cared. Fucking A. The story of the justified homicide did not help. 
 I knew there was no way this was going past the initial meeting between us. It was a shame. I was not sure if anything this person said was true. Pathological lying is hallmark of people with narcissistic traits. But Jack was broken in way that seemed very familiar to me. It could very well be that every story he told was crafted based on his perception of what he thought I might find interesting. It could also be that most if not all of what he said is a close approximation of reality. Chaos fills the lives of the people with traumas. Jack lived in another world at any rate.  
 We finally parted ways after two hours of Jack’s fantastic stories. Neither my girlfriend or I thought it wise to persue them but I harbor deep regrets. Jack being either human typhoon with bpd or a psychotic narcissist, makes no difference to me. The damage is the same. The sex is probably the best I will never know. I don’t even know why it would be so great. But I think it would. People say that it is. Who am I to gainsay them?
 I wanted to win a billion a dollars but instead I found a person that beyond any treasure that could compare. A person so beautifuly tortured that only I could see the true worth of. A person that would not bore me. A person that would probably murder me. A person whose emotional dis-regulation riviled my own I think. Probably eclipsing it. I am sure every day with Jack would be a whirlwind of passion and near death experiences. 
 I confess this Jack, should you ever read this and recognize me, I would have rocked your world like no fucking other. I would have made you cum with every hole I have. I would have fucked every hole of yours. I would have played every crazy mind game you set up for me. I would have made every pore of yours drip sweet and I would have drained your fucking balls. I would have fucked your body, destroyed your mind and raped your sole. You would have fragmented into a dozen or more pieces inside your mind and I would have fucked every one of them. You could have beaten me until my body was bruised and my will was broken. I could have broken you. It would have been fun. I would have saved you from god. You could have joined me with the devil. We could have found refuge in each other’s holes.
 Fuckit, I still have your number…