Chapter 9
The guards have come to the realization that you enjoy most of the abuse they've been heaping on you. That led them to start searching out more and more depraved ways to torture and use you, in hope of finding your breaking point.
One of them stumbled across the work of Dolcett on the internet and wondered if they could do it to you.
As much as the idea of impaling you on a spit and roasting you alive sounded like fun they decided they have to keep you alive. Too much paperwork if you die. And besides they're having far too much fun torturing you to have it end so soon.
Instead, they decide that they are going to impale you in the spit and roast you but only for half an hour.
There's a company picnic coming up for the 4th of July so it's the perfect time to barbecue you.
The picnic is being held in a clearing in the woods. It's warm and sunny and all the guards are relaxed, drinking, and happy. It would be a wholesome scene except for the naked sissy slut bound to the trees at the edge of the clearing. Standing, spread eagled, wrists and ankles tied to two trees.
The fire pit has been lit. They're just waiting for the fire to burn down and the coals to get hot.
While you're waiting to be "cooked" the warm summer breezes caress your naked, slutty, thicc body. Your nipples have grown hard, and your pathetic little cock is starting to stir too.
As the fire starts to die down your untied and led to the picnic table and told to climb up onto it. On your hands and knees, ass in the air, they start to prepare you for roasting.
Your hair is soaked and tied up. Herbs and onions are shoved into your boipussy. For flavour. An apple is pushed into your mouth. Not so much for flavour but only to make you look a like a roasting piglet.
They make you lay flat on the table and a large, round, stake is laid the length of your body. Ropes soon secure you to it. A wooden Frame is laid across your shoulders and you're soon bound to it as well. Lastly, a thick, long wooden stake is pushed deep into your gaping cunt and attached to the spit.
The entire time they're preparing you the guards talk about you in the 3rd person. They refer to you as "her" sometimes, but usually, "it".
Two burly guards grab each end of the spit and hoist you off the table. It's uncomfortable, but not quite painful. More than anything it's humiliating. You're a piece of meat, yet again, for their amusement. This time quite literally.
The heat hits you immediately when they put the spit in its rack. A small motor is going to rotate you over the fire, just like a fucking animal to be consumed.
It doesn't take long for the heat to start making you dizzy and light headed. It's also turning you on.
The heat licking at your useless cock with each rotation. The guards laughing at you and enjoying the spectacle.
After a few minutes they break out the barbecue sauce and start pouring it all over your limp body. Covering you, head to toe in sticky sweet sauce. A bottle gets shoved up your ass and the sauce pours in to mix with the other ingredients already inside you.
You've lost track of time. You're hoping you don't have to endure too much more. You can feel your cock and balls starting to singe. Your tits are glowing hot. The pain is becoming almost too much to take. Your screams and pleading are muffled by the apple in your mouth. Not that any of them would take pity and offer you relief.
The last thing you remember hearing, before you passed out, is one of them saying "Three more minutes and then we'll take the meat off the fire."
You're awakened by a bucket of cold water being thrown on you. Every inch of your body feels like it's been sunburnt. To make matters worse you're covered in sticky sweet barbecue sauce.
The guards want to get you cleaned up a little before the next stage of the festivities bit there's no hose to spray you down with. Then a brilliant idea emerges.
You're tossed on the ground, still tied to the spit, and the four dogs that have been hanging around are called over. They quickly begin licking the sticky sweet sauce off of you. Their rough tongues dragging across your burnt body is agonizing. Because you're a sick fuck, you like it. You start to moan and wiggle around to give the dogs access to more of you. Especially your pathetic little cock.
A couple of the guards notice what you're doing and start to laugh. They point out to everyone that you're fucking enjoying it. Everyone agrees that you're the most depraved, filthy, amoral, piece of fuck meat they've ever seen. They're excited about it. It means they can do anything to you. No matter how depraved, degrading, disgusting, violent, or taboo.
While they are chatting about what to do next, one of the dogs lifts his leg and starts pissing on you. The hot stream feels scalding on your burnt skin. It splashes across your stomach and chest. Some of it gets up around your neck and you open your mouth, hoping to be able to drink some of it to relieve your incredible thirst.
Everyone has gone silent, watching in amazement. When the second dog starts pissing on your chest you wiggle around to take it in the face. The hot dog piss in your mouth giving you relief from the thirst and a fantastic thrill at being able to be so fucking filthy. It's at that moment that the last 2 dogs start pissing all over your hard, but pathetic, cock. Your moans of pleasure leave the guards, and their wives, laughing and cheering.
Because it's the 4th of July the guards have brought along a bunch of flags, firecrackers and decorations to celebrate the day.
The dogs have licked you clean and lost interest in pissing on you so everyone is looking for a new amusement.
It's time to do some decorating.
You're untied from the spit and another bucket of ice cold water is thrown on your limp body. As you lay there, dazed, aroused, humiliated, you wonder what fucked up thing they could possibly have in mind.
A kick to the ribs gets you on your back. A couple more kicks and you're spread eagle in the grass.
One of the wives has brought a bunch of small flags. The paper ones with a wooden stick. She wants to shove them in your piss hole. The only problem is you've gone limp. It would be much easier if your clit was hard. It only takes her a moment to figure out how to get you hard again. She drops her panties, lifts her dress, squats over your face and starts to piss. It works like a charm. You can't help yourself. You open your slut mouth and drink it all down as quickly as you can. The shame and humiliation does what it was intended to do. Your useless cock is nice and hard again.
With her cunt still firmly pressed to your face she begins sliding the stick of the flag down into your cock. You're so embarrassed and ashamed at how much you're loving this treatment.
She manages to push two more flags into your pisshole. As she hops off your face she tells you to get the fuck up. You're exhausted and hesitant. A quick kick in the head and a slap across the face gets your moving. Your struggle to your feet.
She instructs you to show everyone how patriotic you are and to start waving the flags. Your efforts aren't even close to what she wants and she kicks you in the ass, over and over, making you stumble around, and making your faggot clit wiggle. The laughter from the crowd is so fucking humiliating and you wonder what the fuck is wrong with you that you love it.
That's when someone suggests that they should tun you into a proper flag pole.
Chapter 10

Having grown tired of watching your futile attempts to wave the little flags jammed in your pisshole the wives have decided to turn you into a “proper” flag pole.

A shovel is tossed at your feet and you’re ordered to start digging. They want a hole two feet deep and 3 feet wide. And you had better hurry the fuck up. Your efforts are decent to being but because of all the abuse you’ve endured so far today you start to tire and slow down. A crack of the whip then the sting as it bites into your ass. You dig faster. Another crack and another stripe across your sissy ass. You don’t speed up digging but your clit starts to involuntarily grow. This prompts laughter and ridicule from the guards, and particularly, the women. They can’t believe just how much of a pathetic, pain and abuse craving, sissy slut you really are.

Before too long the hole is complete. She shoves you to your knees at the edge of the hole, facing it. Turning to one of the other wives she says, “Jenn, bring the big flag and pole over here. We’re going to do this up right. Real patriotic.” She shoves you forward, so that you fall into the hole. Because of the size of the hole only your upper body fits. Your ass is in the air, sticking straight up. Completely gaping and exposed.

As she hands over the flagpole Jenn says, “I don’t think it’s going to fit. It’s way to big.” It’s not going to matter if it’s too big or not. One way or another it’s going in your cunt. Lubed, dry. No one cares.

The fat, wooden, flag pole is pushed up against the entrance to your cunt and pressure is slowly applied. It’s starting to work its way in. You do your best to relax and push out, to get the pole in your cunt without too much pain and tearing. It helps, but there is still so much of the huge pole to go.

She starts to lose patience with the progress and starts shoving harder and harder. Your cries for her to please stop are, obviously, ignored and you’re told to shut the fuck up and take it. You’re reminded that you’re only there to entertain them. Your pain doesn’t matter. Besides, she says, your hard clit says you’re enjoying it. She makes you admit you like it. You have to yell, loudly, for everyone to hear, that you like having the flag pole shoved up your ass.

Jenn starts to help. Between the two of them they’re able to force the pole deep into your cunt. Judging by how full you feel, you think there’s about two feet of hard wood up inside you. You’re ashamed of yourself for being proud of how much you can take.

Once it’s firmly in place a flag is attached to pole. It gently unfurls in the breeze. The wind playing with the cloth makes the pole move around in your cunt, pushing it from side to side. It feels like the wind is fucking you.

Your told that you cannot let the flag fall. It’s disrespectful. If it falls you’ll be beaten unconscious.
The group goes back to drinking, snacking and playing games, leaving you there. An object to amuse them.
After about half an hour you notice the dogs are sniffing around you, curious as to why you’re there. Realizing you’re not moving much they conclude you’re not a person and start pissing on you, like they would any tree, bush or shrub. At first they piss on your ass, because the flag pole is a natural place for them to piss. Eventually though they piss on your shoulders, back and face. Because you’re in the hole it’s really convenient for them to piss all over you.
Everyone sees it happening but there’s no way they’re going to stop it. It’s way too funny. Hell, not only are they not going to stop it, they’re going to join in. For the next hour you endure an almost non-stop rain of piss. All over your back and ass, all over the back of your head. In your face. So much in your face. Each time someone pisses in your face you open your mouth and drink in as much as you’re able. You try to be subtle about it so they don’t see you drinking it but eventually you’re caught. It’s decided that if you’re going to do that you might was well be a urinal for them for the rest of the evening. From that point on all of the piss, and theres so much because of all the beer drinking, is aimed at your mouth.
The sun is starting to fade from the sky. The coming darkness signals the next stage of the days festivities. The fireworks display is going to be amazing this year!

Updated Profile/ Time out for games/Looking for Real
This is on my profile, philosophy for weeding out phonies...Thoughts?
The last leap into domesticated fantasy……
I am not a Dom nor do I wish to be dominated by all means not a hint of being
"SUB" is in me.I have been scouring the
internet and quite a few fetish site have the role play of this particular interest, but
none for me...I don't wish to rule, but be understood and adored...The word
"Bull" is used in such a caustic way that the people involved seem to forgo the
natural intellect and the basic of all that moves real life, and hence nothing long
term is ever established in this realm...instead I am seeking a kinky, perverted family
more or less, my description will probably be brief, but I assure you
that I do not desire pictures or uneventful thought up stories...and I hope through
a series of communication my idea is understood...As the hubby should know his
role as a submissive, humiliation should be spared until the order of things are
disrupted, either by him or others within the family, that will be explained....As for
a constant BBC breeding that is only a fraction of the experience that most seem
to get stuck on...In my proposal, I would like an atmosphere built around honesty
and truth, meaning a lack of closed-door, an acceptance of being in the moment
for whatever that moment seems to be...i.e. within the home of course
escapades will be heightened, but the basics of real life will not only be explored
but enforced! Those are that of self esteem, Education, and of course work and
the ability to become in the maintaining the things in life that are far beyond the
basics, as in that particular life we "the family" should not settle but excel....Nice
everything, the actual only, I guess true difference would be upon entry into the
home, as all would have the freedom to date, to come home with a new suitor
one might find another in the den masturbating feverishly to a new porn, or
perhaps someone get a blowjob, or pussy eaten with the only excuse is "my
family doesn't believe in doors, no secrets”. I would like to continue with this
discussion, but it is late, I will sleep as these quick words marinate.....Oh and
of course the "Bull" will work as well...I'm hoping this doesn't fall on deaf ears, but
that of a group that understands the entire "Live-in" dynamics...NO FREE
RIDES...WE ALL WORK TOGETHER....Hope to hear from you as so many have
taken this concept as a way to drop out...my thoughts are to bring together the
best of all..., CUCKMATES, FRIENDS, all doing their thing...with a twist.
Wise Bull

A Night to Remember: Sarah and Kris's First Time with Steve
Sarah and Kris lay bound and gagged on the floor, naked and scared. They had been kidnapped by a group of home invaders earlier in the day and were now being held captive in some sort of strange place.

Steve was the leader of this band of criminals. He and his men had decided to turn these two into sex slaves for themselves. It wasn’t exactly legal, but it would make good money.

“I think you two are going to like being slaves for your new masters,” he said, looking down at the couple lying on the floor. “We’re going to take care of you both, don’t worry about that. You won’t have to do anything except obey our commands.”

Kris and Sarah looked up at him, eyes wide with fear. They knew that there was nothing they could do to stop these men from taking control of their lives. Steve smiled down at them, pleased with their submission.

He turned to his men and nodded. One of them stepped forward and grabbed Sarah, dragging her over to the bed. He shoved her face down onto the mattress, spreading her legs apart. Another man followed suit, grabbing Kris and doing the same thing. The two of them began to undress the couple slowly, stripping them completely naked before binding their hands and feet together tightly.

When they were finished, they left the room without saying a word. Sarah lay still on the bed, her body trembling uncontrollably. Kris tried to comfort her as best he could, but there was nothing he could do to ease her fears.

“It’ll be okay,” he whispered, stroking her hair gently. “Just hang in there until we can get help.”

But even if help did come, it wouldn’t be soon enough to save them from what was happening next.

Steve returned to the room alone, carrying a small bag in one hand. He set it down on the table next to the bed and opened it up, revealing its contents. Inside were various tools and pieces of equipment – ropes, chains, whips, and other things that made Sarah’s heart sink.

“What are you going to do to us?” she asked, trying not to sound too terrified.

Steve laughed softly, leaning down so that he could look directly into her eyes.

“Oh, honey, I’m just getting started.”

With those words ringing in her ears, he picked up a length of rope and began tying her wrists together behind her back. As he worked, he talked nonstop – telling stories about his past crimes, bragging about how much money he would make from selling them as slaves, making crude comments about their bodies. Sarah listened with growing horror, unable to escape the realization that this nightmare was only beginning.

Finally, when he had finished tying her up, he stood back to admire his work. “There, that should keep you nice and secure while we work on your friend here.” He gestured towards Kris, who was already struggling against his own bonds. “Now let’s see what kind of trouble we can get ourselves into, shall we?”

Steve approached Kris slowly, a wicked gleam in his eye. He could see the fear in the young man’s eyes, and it excited him. He loved having power over others, especially when they were so clearly at his mercy.

Without a word, he reached out and ran his hand down Kris’s chest, feeling the muscles tense under his touch. Kris tried to pull away, but Steve held him firmly in place.

“You’re mine now,” he whispered, leaning in close. “And there’s nothing you can do about it.”

Kris whimpered softly as Steve began to undo the ropes binding his hands. Once they were free, Steve grabbed him by the wrist and yanked him upright.

“Get up,” he commanded.

Kris stood shakily, his legs threatening to give out beneath him. Steve didn’t seem to notice, or if he did, he didn’t care. He simply pulled Kris over to the bed and pushed him down onto his back.

“Spread your legs,” he ordered.

Kris hesitated for a moment before complying. He knew that resistance was futile – Steve was much stronger than he was, and there was no way he could overpower him.

Steve grinned as he watched Kris comply with his demands. He loved seeing the fear in his eyes, knowing that he was completely at his mercy.

“Good boy,” he purred, running his hand down Kris’s chest again. This time, he didn’t stop until he reached the young man’s cock.

Kris gasped as Steve wrapped his fingers around his shaft, squeezing gently. He couldn’t believe what was happening – he had never been with a man before, and the thought of it made him feel both terrified and strangely excited.

Steve could feel Kris’s cock beginning to harden under his touch, and it only made him more eager to continue. He began to stroke the young man slowly, watching as his hips thrust upwards in response.

“That’s it,” he murmured, leaning down so that his lips were just inches from Kris’s ear. “Let go and enjoy yourself. You know you want to.”

Kris whimpered again, but he couldn’t deny the truth in Steve’s words. He did want to enjoy this, despite the fact that it went against everything he had ever known.

As if sensing his thoughts, Steve began to stroke him faster, his fingers moving deftly over Kris’s now fully hard cock. Kris moaned softly, his hips bucking upwards as he neared the edge of release.

Just when he thought he couldn’t take it any longer, Steve stopped suddenly, leaving Kris gasping and panting on the bed.

“Not yet,” he said, grinning wickedly. “I want to make this last as long as possible.”

Kris whimpered in frustration, but he knew better than to argue. He lay back on the bed, trying to calm his racing heart and mind.

Steve watched him for a moment, enjoying the sight of the young man lying there, completely at his mercy. Then, without warning, he reached down and grabbed Kris’s balls, squeezing them tightly.

Kris cried out in pain, his hips bucking upwards involuntarily. Steve chuckled, enjoying the feeling of power that came from causing such distress.

“You like that, don’t you?” he asked, squeezing harder.

Kris could only whimper in response, tears streaming down his face. He had never felt such pain before, and he wasn’t sure how much more he could take.

Just when he thought he might pass out from the agony, Steve released his grip, allowing Kris to collapse back onto the bed.

“Good boy,” he said approvingly. “You took that like a champ.”

Kris couldn’t respond – he was too busy trying to catch his breath and regain control of his body. He had never experienced anything like this before, and he wasn’t sure if he could handle it.

Steve seemed to sense his distress and leaned down to whisper in his ear.

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to hurt you,” he promised. “At least, not too much. I just want to play with you a little bit, that’s all.”

Kris nodded slightly, still unable to speak. He wasn’t sure he believed Steve’s words, but he didn’t have much choice but to trust him for now.

He felt Steve’s hand on his cock again, stroking him slowly and gently. This time, there was no pain, only pleasure. Kris closed his eyes and let out a soft moan, allowing himself to get lost in the sensation.

For a while, it seemed like time stood still. All that existed was the feeling of Steve’s hand on his cock, bringing him closer and closer to the edge of release.

But eventually, the pleasure became too much for Kris to handle. With a cry, he came hard, his body shuddering with the force of it.

Steve grinned as he watched Kris come undone, loving the feeling of power that came from being the one to bring him to such heights.

When Kris had finally finished, Steve leaned down and kissed him gently on the lips.

“You did good,” he whispered. “I’m proud of you.”

Kris could only nod, still too stunned to speak. He wasn’t sure what had just happened, but he knew that it had changed him in some way.

Steve seemed to sense his confusion and smiled softly.

“Don’t worry,” he said. “We’ll take things slow from here on out. I promise.”

And with that, he began to untie Kris’s feet, freeing him from his bonds.

Once Kris was free, Steve helped him off the bed and led him over to where Sarah was still tied up.

“I think it’s time we let your girlfriend join the fun,” he said, grinning wickedly.

Kris nodded, feeling a mix of excitement and fear at the thought of what was about to happen. He wasn’t sure if he was ready for this, but he knew that there was no turning back now.

Steve reached out and began to untie Sarah’s wrists, freeing her from her bonds. She looked up at him with fear in her eyes, but Steve simply smiled down at her reassuringly.

“Don’t worry, sweetheart,” he said. “I’m not going to hurt you. Not unless you want me to, that is.”

Sarah whimpered softly, unsure of how to respond. She had never been with a woman before, and the thought of it made her feel both excited and terrified.

Steve seemed to sense her hesitation and leaned down to whisper in her ear.

“Just relax and let go,” he murmured. “I promise you’ll enjoy it.”

Sarah nodded slightly, still too stunned to speak. She wasn’t sure if she believed Steve’s words, but she didn’t have much choice but to trust him for now.

She felt Steve’s hands on her body, caressing her gently. It felt strange at first, but soon she found herself responding to his touch, her body coming alive under his fingers.

Steve smiled as he felt Sarah relax under his touch. He had known all along that she would be a natural at this, and now it seemed like his prediction was coming true.

He leaned down and kissed her gently on the lips, feeling her respond hesitantly at first, and then more eagerly as she got lost in the sensation.

As they kissed, Steve’s hands began to wander, exploring Sarah’s body more fully. He cupped her breasts gently, feeling their weight in his hands. Then, he began to stroke her nipples, feeling them harden under his touch.

Sarah moaned softly as Steve touched her, her body responding instinctively to his touch. She had never felt anything like this before, and she wasn’t sure if she could handle it.

But Steve seemed to know exactly what he was doing. He continued to stroke her nipples, teasing them gently until they were fully erect. Then, he began to kiss his way down her body, moving lower and lower until he reached her pussy.

Sarah gasped as Steve’s lips made contact with her most sensitive area. She had never experienced oral sex before, and the sensation was almost too much for her to handle.

Steve smiled as he felt Sarah’s body respond to his touch. He loved the feeling of power that came from bringing someone else to such heights of pleasure.

He began to lick and suck at Sarah’s clit, feeling her hips buck upwards in response. She tasted sweet and musky, and Steve couldn’t get enough of her.

As he continued to feast on Sarah’s pussy, he reached up and began to stroke Kris’s cock again. It was already half-hard from watching the scene unfold before him, and it didn’t take long for Steve to bring him to full hardness once more.

Kris moaned softly as Steve stroked him, his body responding instinctively to the sensation. He wasn’t sure if he was ready for this, but he knew that he couldn’t resist the feeling of Steve’s hand on his cock.

For a while, it seemed like time stood still. All that existed was the feeling of Steve’s mouth on Sarah’s pussy and his hand on Kris’s cock, bringing them both closer and closer to the edge of release.

But eventually, the pleasure became too much for either of them to handle. With cries of ecstasy, they both came, their bodies shuddering with the force of it.

Steve grinned as he felt them come undone, loving the feeling of power that came from being the one to bring them to such heights.

When they had finally finished, Steve leaned back and looked up at them, a satisfied smile on his face.

“Well?” he asked, grinning wickedly. “Did you enjoy that?”

Kris and Sarah could only nod, still too stunned to speak. They had never experienced anything like this before, and they knew that it had changed them in some way.

Steve seemed to sense their thoughts and chuckled softly.

“Good,” he said. “I’m glad you enjoyed it. Because we’re just getting started.”

And with that, he led them back over to the bed, ready to begin the next stage of their training.

how I want to live my life: serving the superior men. I believe in male rule, it it the natural order. And in Alpha rule - where slaves like me are supporting the true men. Proud to be part of the foundation these strong men need to stand upon with their boots! And if my body can serve as a channell for the ruling men to get out their aggression and frustration, then I have a reason to exist. I am eternally thankful for these men giving me a reason to live.

I had crazy dream and wish to whisper to Him, with a smile on my face. Devil admit how much You like to break me and how cruel that is.. I woke up with a smile and the ache is so painful, desire is constant and He always let me be hungry even when He is around so that i can feel a pain from that hunger. Masks me thinking about new things I learned to please my Master, to make Him smile and lustful. His nature more pleased and the taste of leash even better..¡ ache to show that. You haven't said get ready suffer.. oh and I always miss my nightmares and i am curious just like Devil is how deep it goes when we create, when He tailor for His toy.. miss feeling like a toy.. yearning for that suffering reminders and the taste not to fadep.s ordered this type of dress..its so boring without those things.. and so tempted with all the misbehaving that hides in Your hands.. bring us Your fun Devil. Don’t You like me feeling like my Master’s slut?

This is a weird, kinda creepy confession, but its Motherless so, what the hey?

I use to go to this Starbucks where this one girl worked because I was obsessed with her. Short, slender, dark haired, and petite she was in college for nursing and would always wear tight fitting yoga pants. Her face was the picture of innocents and she was always a little awkward and uncomfortable around me. Most likely because I as nearly 25 years older than her and did not try and hide the fact that I was undressing her with my eyes every time I ordered. This awkwardness she would display around me only aroused me. But I would quietly observe her interactions with other customers and could tell her natural mannerisms tended to be quiet, and shy.

I am willing to bet she would have been submissive in bed, if she had the right partner.

Anyways, one day I am in a laundromat in another part of the town. Its is frequently used by college girls so I would go there because I enjoyed watching them fold their panties.

I see this girl from Starbucks doing her laundry but she doesn't notice me. I managed to stay hidden in the background, and I watch as she puts her laundry into the dryer. It was a average size load but I am delighted to see her start shaking out there small white pieces of cloth which I assume are her panties!

After she places them in the dryer she then leaves to laundromat so I causally strolled up there, opened up her dryer and stole a couple of her panties! I restarted the dryer and hastily left.

Of course you know what happened next. Girl I am obsessed with, steal her panties. I examined them closely, both were white cotton, thongs with small delicate lacing around the waist. I imagined her in these, the thongs, and the shape her small ass.

I jerked off into them for months.

I confess that I have nothing big to look forward to. I've been living without a thought for tomorrow for 6 years now. Business ideas of mine I tried within those years didn't and don't work and I lack any motivation to continue trying.

I am normal in the sense that I am easily distracted.

Sometimes I hate my life but then I drink some sugary ice tea and I feel happy again. Fortunately I weigh 84 kg at 1.82 meters and it's not all fat.

I just pictured myself in 10, 30 years and this thought is awful.

Then I tell myself, that everything will be okay. And I drink some more sugary ice tea.

I developed a natural resistance to people telling me I needed to get my life in order. I wait for them to finish yelling(I wouldn't even listen to them if I was successful, cause nobody yells at me with my approval) so I continue doing what I did before.

I write this hoping to read something I haven't read before.

What I have read before:

- Get a job
- Get a life
- Get a girlfriend
- Study at university

To which I always ask back: Why should that work for me if everything else failed?
I've already studied at university.

Cheryl and me

I knew Cheryl in high school. She was somewhat attractive and had an average body. We didn't hangout together; but, she had a loose reputation. After I graduated from high school, I went to college and thoroughly enjoyed the party life. So much so that I flunked out after two years. I came home then and got a job as a retail clerk. I met Cheryl again while she was dating and fucking my younger brother, who was 18 at the time. We were 22. That ended when he went away to college. Cheryl didn't go to college and also worked in retail. We found a mutual need to move out of our parents home and rented an apartment together. One Friday night, when neither of us had plans, we decided to go to a movie. After the movie, we stopped at a nearby diner that had been a local hangout. I ordered a slice of apple pie and a coke. Across the aisle from us was a group of young college students who were home on break. They were about 10 of them, two girls and 8 guys in two booths laughing and acting up. It wasn't long before they drew us into their conversation and two of the guys came over and sat down with us. They said they were having a party and had some party favors but needed someone to buy some beer. The party was at one of the guys house while his parents were away for the weekend. They invited us to go and asked if we would buy a couple cases of beer, which they would pay for. They seemed like a fun bunch and we had nothing better to do; so, after exchanging a few questioning looks, which told me that Cheryl was interested, we agreed. The guys told their friends that we were in and then rode with us to a party store where we bought two cold cases of beer. Then we drove to the party house, which was located on maybe an acre of wooded land where the neighbors were not close enough to be disturbed.

When we arrived the party had started, music was playing, two couple were dancing, and I noticed a few bunched around a glass table lining up some coke. The beer was quickly opened and the single guys mingled with Cheryl and I. They mostly left the two couples alone as they appeared to be attached. One of the guys offered us a pill with an x on it which I recognized as ecstasy. We accepted and started dancing with one after another. I felt warm from the pill and stopped after each dance for some beer. The house was air conditioned; but, I started to perspire and sat down on the couch and chugged the rest of my beer to cool off. The guy who lived there and another one joined me. They kind of sandwiched me between them and chatted me up with lots of touching on my arms and legs. The quick touches that guys do to see if you object. I was feeling pretty good and a bit aroused from all the attention I was getting. I looked around and noticed that the two couple were no longer there; and, Cheryl was standing against the wall with three guys. The guys were blocking most of my view; but, I could see from their movements that they appeared to be feeling her up. Knowing Cheryl, she would not have objected.

One of the guys on the couch with me leaned over and kissed me. The first kiss was followed by a second longer kiss. Then their quick touches were on my boobs and lingered on my thighs. The one on my other side kissed my neck and around my ears. A tongue in my ear always turns me on. The touches on my boobs became longer and turned into groping but I didn't resist. My long natural blonde hair and my D cup boobs have always attracted men. A third guy joined us on the couch. I was wearing jeans and a sweater; and one of them was reaching under my sweater to get access to my bare skin. I was still feeling warm from the x and their kissing and pawing on my body was putting me in the mood for sex. While I was enjoying a deep kiss with tongue, a hand went under my bra and began kneading my boob and nipple. The third guy knelt on the floor in front of me and was massaging my thighs moving higher and higher. When I felt the button on my jeans open, I looked around and discovered that I was alone with the three of them. Cheryl was gone, probably to a bedroom. Then I lapsed back into my arousal.

They pulled my sweater over my head and opened my bra. Then there were hands kneading both of my boobs and another trying to work its way into my jeans. That was a tight squeeze and I lifted my hips to let him pull my jeans down. His hand went quickly into my panties and began finger fucking my pussy. I was more than aroused at that point and my hips began to show them I was ready to fuck. They pulled my panties off and led me naked to an upstairs bedroom. I laid down on the double bed and one kept kissing me and finger fucking me while the other two undressed. One of them crawled between my legs and began licking my pussy while the last one undressed. The other naked guy offered his cock to my face and I began sucking him. Soon, I was begging them to fuck me. They did, one at a time using condoms. They were very energetic and fucked me in every imaginable position, giving me several orgasms. I began sucking one as another fucked me doggy style, while the third recovered. Some time during the night, we swallowed another x pill; and the guys with Cheryl switched with my guys. When they ran out of condoms, they began cumming on my face and in my mouth. I acted like a total slut, just like Cheryl. I woke up late morning between two guys with the sun shining through the window. One of them was awake and I helped relieve his morning wood with my mouth. The bed was still wet and I had dried cum on my face and legs. I washed my face and went down stairs for my clothes. Then, into the kitchen and made eggs and sausages for breakfast. Cheryl staggered in naked looking like a well-used whore with her hair and face smeared with cum just like me. I called her a whore and we both laughed. After breakfast, we both took a long soaky bath. Then, the party continued for another night.

Chapter 3
This isn't a progressive prison. Quite the opposite. They aren't interested in rehabilitation, only punishment. As a result the guards carry a number of different weapons. Non-lethal but still damn effective. And they need to practice with them regularly. Your prescence offers them a unique opportunity to train using a person, rather than manniquins.
You're walked, naked, through the prison and out into the yard. During the walk your slutty fag body is seen by almost everyone. The prisoners taunt you and mock your tiny fucking clit. They promise that if they ever get their hands on you they'll rape you unconscious and cover you in the cum of real men.
Once in the yard you're hand cuffed to the chain link fence. Both wrists and ankles. Spread eagled. You're completely vulnerable. The warm sun offers a small amount of comfort.
The guards explain that they are going to practice their riot suppression techniques on your sissy body, beginning with nightsticks. They already know they can shove them up your boipussy whenever they want so instead they're going to beat you with them. They focus their attention on your titties. They're dying to know if the nice big implants Daddy bought you are as sensitive as real titties. It turns out they are. Repeated blows to your tits rain down. The pain is incredible. Your crying and begging for mercy has no effect on them. The bruising starts to set in immediately. Just when you think you'll pass out from the pain it stops.
The beating only stops because they're moving on to the next weapon, not because they give a damn about your suffering. The guards unholster their tasers and you realize what's in store for you next.
They each take turns shooting the electrified darts into your soft, girly, body and running the electricity through you. You dance and writhe in place. The pain is excruciating and yet your clit is growing. It has a mind of it's own and it's enjoying the humiliation, torture and pain. It knows this is what you crave. What you deserve.
The guards grow bored simply shooting the tasers at you and decide they should hook them directly up to your useless balls and run the electricity into you. The darts are stabbed into your sack and the trigger pulled. Hundreds of volts run through your pathetic balls and throughout your body. Over and over. Your cries only make them laugh. Your begging for mercy only makes them do it more and more. Eventually you lose control and piss yourself prompting howls of laughter. The humiliation makes you blush from head to toe. It also makes your cock start to grow again.
The next weapon to be unleashed is the bean bag shot gun. Bonus points are going to be awarded for anyone who hits your tits and even more points for hitting you in the clit and balls. There's a very brief conversation among the guards about the risk of doing permanent damage but it's quickly decided no one gives a damn. The first two shots hit your tits knocking the wind out of you. The third shot hits your throat making it almost impossible for you to scream anymore. After that each and every shot is aimed at your clit. Round after round smashes into your crotch. Each one feels like being kicked in the balls. Your legs go limp and you're left hanging by your wrists from the fence like a depraved piece of meat.
A bucket of ice cold water splashes over you, snapping you out of your stupor. You can barely feel your clit anymore. Your balls are swollen to the size of oranges.
The next weapon to be used is rubber bullets. They aren't utilized very often on the prisoners because of the damage they can do. No one cares about the damage they'll do to you.
Again, bonus points are available for hitting you in the tits and crotch. This time around the discussion about damage is a bit more serious. It's agreed a direct hit could destroy your balls. The consensus is that if that happens they'll take you to the prison doctor and have him remove your balls completely. They'll turn you into a total fucking eunuch.
The first couple of shots hit your thighs and stomach. the pain rips through you instantly. The swelling and bruising is also instant. As is the perverse enjoyment you're feeling. Your depraved mind has decided you both deserve and enjoy this treatment. As before, your clit starts to grow at the thought.
Inevitably two shots, in quick succession, hit your balls. Your screams can be heard throughout the entire prison before you fall unconscious.
It takes two buckets of ice cold water splashed over your limp body to revive you this time.
The guards examine your almost ruined clit and balls and decide the doctor can, probably, save them.
That being decided they go get the guards that ride horseback and oversee the prisoners working the farm.
Those guards need practice with their whips. They don't get to use them as often as they'd like so practice is always welcome and you're perfect for their needs.
You're unshackled from the fence and turned around, facing it, and reshackled. The two horseback guards flip a coin to see who goes first. The winner uncoils his 8 ft whip and begins swirling it in the air. With a quick flip of his wrist the whip leaps out and bites your ass. Your screams echo across the yard. Another swoosh and the whip crosses your back. Bright red welts form immediately. The burning sensation radiates out across your back. They start coming faster now. Most of them hit your thicc ass, making you dance and quiver and shake and scream. Eventually it becomes so intense you go numb. Your ass is on fire but now you simply accept that this is what you deserve because you're a sissy slut, pain whore.
After what seems like an eternity you're unshackled and turned around again. The bite of the cuffs into your wrists and ankles is inconsequential compared to the pain rushing through your ass and back.
The second guard begins his turn focused on your titties. Your plump, sensitive, titties feel the sting of the tip of the whip. He's incredibly accurate. Hitting your nipples over and over. They all laugh as you cry and beg him to stop. Instead they encourage him. They want to know if he can make you scream even louder.
He's confident he can. He says he doesn't want.to hit your ball because they're really close to being completely destroyed but he's sure can hit your clit.
Turns out he's right
The whip bites into your useless cock over and over.
Your screams carry for miles. As does their laughter. The worst part though, is that throughout the entire whipping, you cock has been seeping cum. And now that they are done they notice it for the first time.
It's then that they realize what they have on their hands.
Chapter 4
The fact that the prison is also a working farm results in some unique opportunities, and challenges, for the men working it.
The farm provides vegetables and meat for the prison.
It also provides sadistic guards with some creative ways to torture sissy sluts.
For example, the guards know your boipussy can take it deep, because they shoved a whole nightstick up your slutty ass, but they got to wondering how fat a zucchini they could stuff in your gaping hole before you passed out or ripped. Turns out the answer is 10 inches before you screamed so loud it could be heard miles away, and then you passed out. What confused them was that you seemed to be enjoying it up to that point.
They also discovered that your useless faggy body could be used to solve practical problems.
The prisoners were running into issues with fire ants in the soil they were working. The guards realized that you could be used as bait.
You were stripped naked, yet again, (At this point it was rare for you to have clothes on at all. Much quicker to rape you if you're already naked) and taken to the farm field. The walk past the prison yard was both humiliating and thrilling for you. So many men wanting to fuck your sweet little holes. Potentially so much cum for you to swallow or be covered by. So many hard cocks for you to suck. All you could ever want. And you wanted them all.
Just before the guards lead you outside the fence they tie your hands behind your back and put a collar around your neck. A rope is passed through the ring on the collar and handed to a guard on horseback. You can feel the hot sun making your big, fat, titties redder and redder.
The horse starts walking forward and you follow along behind. The rider picks up the pace and you have to start running a little to keep up. The heat and the running has you sweating and gasping.
The rider speeds up a bit more and you have to run hard to keep up. The guards in the truck following you, and rider are laughing at the way your clit is bouncing around as you run. They're also laughing at the way your titties are slamming up and down.
Again the rider speeds up. This time you can't keep up, you stumble and fall. They don't stop. You're being dragged through the dirt into the field. The rocks, gravel and dirt are scraping your titties and, especially, your clit. It hurts so good. You feel like an animal and deep down, much to your shame, you're enjoying it.
Just when you think you can't take anymore it stops.
You're in the middle of the field. The fire ant hill is mere feet away.
They flip you over and cut the rope around your wrists. The guards in the truck get out and rummage around in the back of the truck. They pull out four stakes, a length of rope and a hammer.
You lay, gasping, in the hot southern heat. The scrapes all over your body are on fire. Your clit is throbbing, both from the pain, and the shameful pleasure your feeling. Being exposed and used by these strong, cruel men is making you feel more and more like a sissy fucktoy. Completely empty of masculinity.
The guards have pounded the four stakes into the ground around you. Ropes are wrapped around your wrists and ankles and your stretched, spread eagled, as they tie them to the stakes. You're unable to move, except to wiggle a little. Your pathetic attempts at struggle make your clit flop around uselessly which elicits more laughter. They put a burlap bag over your head and tie a rope tightly around your neck to hold it in place.
The guards have been working quickly. They don't want to be swarmed by the ants, that's your role.
One of the guards grabs a long stick and, just for laughs, hits your clit with it, just ot hear you cry out, before heading toward the ant hill.
He begins poking the hill with the stick. The ants come swarming out and all the guards run for the truck. The guard on horseback takes off at a gallop.
The ants don't take long to find you. Crawling over your arms and legs they begin heading toward your scraped clit. Within seconds they've completely cover your useless clit and begin burrowing down into the shaft.
The guards are about a hundred yards away and yet they can hear you screaming, crying, pleading and begging for release. There's no help coming. You're at the mercy of the insects who are beginning to bite your useless cock and push their way into your sissy ass. It's so easy for them to crawl up your boipussy. It's been fucked so often lately it gapes. They march right up you effortlessly.
The intensity of the pain in your clit and ass has distracted you from the dozens of ants devouring your fat, soft titties.
They're everywhere. On you, in you. Using your useless fucking sissy fag body for their needs. As it should be. Your thicc, feminine, slut body exists only for the pleasure of others, and that includes insects.
Because you're a depraved pain slut your clit starts to grow, making it easier for the ants to enter you.
The guards can't believe you're getting hard. They're glad they decided to record the whole spectacle because otherwise no one would believe it. They can't wait to show it to everyone down at the bar.
Right about the time you start to pass out, from the pain and the exhaustion of screaming and crying non stop for almost an hour relief comes.
They need you alive. Damaged is fine but alive. A 2" hose sprays you with a deluge of cold water sending the ants flying. The hose is shoved into your pussy to flush them out. The Icy cold water shoots into your guts with incredible force.
A stick is pushed into the end of your still hard clit to kill the ants inside. The pain of the stick being jammed into your useless cock makes you finally pass out but not before you hear the guards say they can't wait to do this again with different insects.
Chapter 5
The sunlight through the infirmary window wakes you. You're not sure how long you've been there. You feel good though. There's no signs of the ant bites so you figure you've probably been there a few days.
When the nurse comes in you ask her a few questions. Turns out you've been there three days. They kept you sedated and medicated. That didn't stop the guards from occasionally coming in and sodomizing you anyway. Apparently you moaned like a little bitch even though you were almost completely unconscious.
The knowledge that they used your ass for their amusement and pleasure while you slept, without giving a damn if you enjoyed it, filled you with both shame and arousal. You were a human flashlight for three days, for god only knows how many cocks.
You notice that your skin seems softer and smoother. At first you thought it was because of the treatment for the ant bites. You ask the nurse about it. She says, no, they have, in fact, been pumping you full of hormones. She says she's never seen doses that large before. You lift the sheet and look at your cock. To your shock, surprise and shame it's even smaller than before. So are your balls.
You drift off back to sleep feeling more like a girl than ever before.
Chapter 6
Your recovery is progressing nicely after the ant torture. You've been given a break for a week.
The break consisted of only having to suck every cock put in front of you (dozens and dozens) and being fucked repeatedly, all day and night. Usually one at time but occasionally being gang banged. 6 or 8 cocks filling your boipussy with their hot cum. So much cum it would still be leaking out of you hours later.
It's pointless for you to put clothes on most of the time. When you are allowed clothes they are femmy as possible. Short skirts, crop tops that don't really contain your fat titties, garters and stocking and nothing else. Essentially, they dress you like a sissy slut whore.
At this point you're not even sure you remember your own name. You've been called everything but. Fucktoy, cumdump, meat puppet, whore, slut, faggot, sissy, girl, fuckface, useless, pain pig, ant girl, and a bunch more.
It's reached the point where you don't feel right if you're not sticky from cum or your boipussy is empty. It's come to feel completely natural to be impaled on a real man's cock.
Chapter 7
There's a problem down in the barns. One of the stallions is in heat and there's no mare to breed him to. It will be at least two weeks before they can get a mare in to breed with him. He's become damn near unrideable.
The guards have been discussing it and you're the solution. It's even decided that you are going to suck the stallion off. Some of the guards wanted to let it fuck you but.others were concerned it might destroy you. Not that they give a damn about you. They don't. They just want to keep you alive so they can continue to torture and use you. You're a slutty, depraved, amusement for them.
You're marched down to the barn. Almost every guard on staff has come along to watch and record the perverted spectacle. This is filling you with mixed emotions. It's completely humiliating to be forced to serve the sexual needs of an animal in front of a large crowd of people. On the other hand it's a dream come true to serve the sexual needs of an animal in front of a large crowd of people.
The stallion is walked out into the corral so that the guards will have a good view of your depraved cock sucking. They weren't kidding when they said he was horny. His cock is already getting hard and you haven't even touched it yet.
You drop to your knees beside the stallion and tentatively reach out for his growing cock. It's already 18 inches long and it's only half hard. Stroking it makes it grow quickly to its full 3 foot length. It's beautiful.
The guards are growing impatient. They're yelling for you to quit screwing around and start sucking.
You pull the massive cock to your lips and kiss it. Swirling your tongue around the tip produces pre-cum and the horse starts to settle. You stretch your mouth wide to take as much of the massive head as you can into your slutty mouth. To the surprise of the crowd you can get it in your mouth. Sucking as much as you can, tasting the musk, feeling the heat, hearing the guards calling you filthy names is all combining to turn you on. To your shame, and the amusement and disgust of the guards, your clit starts to grow.
A few more minutes of worshipping the big animals cock and you can start to feel it throb. No one has told you if you're supposed to swallow the cum. You decide that if you're going to be the best, most depraved piece of fuck meat you can possibly be, you should swallow.
With a loud grunt the horse begins to cum. So much hot cum gushes into your mouth. Too much to swallow. It shoots out of your mouth, out your nose an all over your tits. Sputtering, coughing and gagging, on your knees, in the dirt, covered in horse cum, in front of a crowd, you lose control and begin to cum too.
The guards howl with laughter and heap verbal abuse on you.
All you can do is hang your head in shame. And pure, perverted, satisfaction.
Chapter 8
You awaken the next morning, still flush with excitement and shame from yesterday's bestiality show.
The memory of your depravity, and the unbridled lust and perversion, makes your cock start to grow again.
You sucked off a horse in front of a large crowd. You savored its cum in your mouth. Your tits were coated in his hot, sticky jism.
Rather than being repulsed you realize you want more.
Unfortunately for you, today's plans don't include the animals.
There's a section of farm land that isn't draining properly and has become swampy. The prisoners don't want to go in and drain the water because it's full of leeches. That's where you come in.
The guards could bait the leeches with fresh pork but why waste good meat when they can use you.
Once again you're marched, naked through the prison and out to the road to the farm. The name calling and abuse as you pass the prisoners is as vile as ever. Rape threats, humiliating comments about your pathetic little cock, reminders that you are definitely not a man anymore. You're a faggy little sex slave for an entire prison and the people who run it.
As you walk through the fields with the guards, toward the swamp the hot sun beats down on your naked body. It occurs to you, and makes you blush, that you don't have to worry about tan lines.
As you approach the swamp you realize it's bigger than you imagined. There's got to be hundreds of leeches in it.
The guards tie your hands behind your back and order you to start walking into the water. You hesitate momentarily. The slash of a whip across your back gets you moving quickly.
Too quickly. You lose your footing in the thick mud, stumble and fall face first into the water.
Your struggles to turn over roil the water and stir up the mud, releasing the leeches and other bugs living there.
The guards yell at you to get further into the water and to get on your back with your legs spread. This time when you hesitate a rubber bullet is shot at you, hitting you square in the ass. The pain is excruciating and the swelling starts immediately. But you move.
You wade into the water and find a spot where you can submerge your body and still keep your head above water.
It only takes a couple of minutes for the leeches to find you.
At first it tickles as they begin to crawl over your naked, slutty, body.
Then they start to latch on. Initially it's on your thighs and stomach. Then it's your arms and tits.
Eventually they find your cock and your boipussy.
As the first one starts slithering up your cunt you realize they're not just going to use you externally. With your hands tied behind.your back there's no way for you to protect yourself.
There are a least a dozen on your titties. Biting and sucking on your nipples, areola, and soft tit meat.
You've lost track of how many have slipped inside your cunt. You can feel them working their way deep inside you. There's so many it feels like a cock. A live wriggling, biting, cock working deeper and deeper into you.
The assault on your cock distracts you from the damage being done to your boipussy.
At least three of them have worked their way into your urethra and have latched on. The pain is unbelievable and your screams and pleas for mercy echo across the swamp. All it gets is laughter and mocking from the guards. They remind you that you're nothing but meat and this is what meat gets used for.
For three long hours you lay in the water, a fucking plaything for insects. The heat and the loss of blood start to take a toll. Your head is getting light. It's about then that you realize that this is your destiny. A sex slave for vicious perverts. Rape meat for horny prisoners. A fucktoy for an entire barnyard full of animals. A piece of meat, so depraved and filthy that being sexually abused by insects, letting them destroy your ass and pathetic sissy cock, feels right.

natural order

So, I have a confession. More of an admission I guess.

I'm not homosexual, maybe I'm bisexual. It's hard to tell, because I've never been with a man. I've always loved women, and I'll never stop wanting them. But lately, I've been thinking about experimenting with being a "bottom".

I guess I should start from the beginning here. The last girl I was with, I guess it was a year or so ago, was the love of my life. I had finally found the girl I wanted to marry, to be with until one of us died. I was happy, and she was EXTREMELY adventurous sexually. Our first night together before we were a couple involved a threesome with her friend. It was actually initiated by her friend actually. That's another tale though.

SO, after we started really dating, things clicked quick, and we fell in love. Love isn't something that I throw around without meaning, she's actually the first of any of the girls I was with that I truly felt it for.

Sex was fantastic. We fucked like rabbits, we fucked in public, in my car, just, wherever, whenever. I STILL to this day dream about the sex. Well, while she would be blowing me, she would always massage around with her other hand, and one day, she went low and started pushing her finger against my asshole.

I never really got into the idea of having my ass fondled, but she was the kind of girl who would convince me to jump off of a cliff. I mean, this girl was heavenly, with a mix of the devil. Natural beauty, un-dyed Raven hair, tits that were out of this world, hell I doubt I'll ever do better.

Anyway, so she starts working around it, and I'm not so much in a panic, but just wondering what I should do. Damn if she didn't figure it out for me, a quick deep throat made me release whatever pucker I had as I felt the ecstasy of her pleasuring, and she worked her finger right in.

She looked at me, and just held her finger in as she stroked my cock with her other hand, and smiled. I smiled too, because, I loved her, in my head I was worried that if I enjoyed it, she might think I was weird.

Well, more and more times during sex, she would work her finger in during a blow job right to the point where she started working her finger in and out. I didn't stop her, because she enjoyed it, and honestly I did too now. It was an extra pleasuring to my already fantastic fucking.

I decided to pay her back with some ass play of my own one day, and I turned her on her belly as I massaged her, working down along the hump of her bottom, spreading her cheeks and working my tongue in. She moaned in joy as I tongued her ass and fingered her clit at the same time. I had never eaten a girl's ass before, but if there was a girl to try it on, it was her. I had fun, she was very clean, as am I, so I wasn't worried about anything "gross". Who am I kidding, I freaked out at first, but in the moment, you just go all in. You know it.

Well, the next night, she decided to PAY me back for her pleasure. She told me to lay on my back, because she wanted to give me a massage. I told her it wasn't a big deal, because massages didnt do it for me. They still really dont. I don't find them too erotic unless I get a bj at the end. Which I never did haha.

She playfully tells me to just do it, so I abide. She starts massaging me, and after a few moments, I realize she started working a lotion around my bottom. Now, I've been told that if I posted a picture of my ass, and hid the fact that I was a dude, I could have men jerking off to it. I've often considered doing it as a joke. Then revealing that the ass belonged to good ol' me. Anyway, back to the story..

She starts rubbing lotion on me, and beckons for me to get up on my knees and elbows. She starts to use the lotion to stroke my dick and balls, and it feels fucking fantastic. I'm wondering to myself, "My god, how can it get any more awesome??!!" When all of a sudden, I feel a warm moistness start to tickle around my cheeks. I tensed up when I felt her breath roll over my ass, a little warm air against my bottom.

Suddenly, she begins licking and rolling her lips around my ass hole as she strokes. I tried my best to not cum, but it was probably the best feeling I've ever had in my entire life. I came BUCKETS. I'm pretty sure I applauded her.

So, some time passes, and one day after lunch on a weekend, she tells me she wants to start using toys. Again, I've never used toys. Never really figured much for them, as I have the perfect toy for a girl right between the legs.

I tell her to get whatever she wants, and we'll try them out. So, a few days later a package from Amazon shows up at our door (we lived together for a bit in a nice rental house) and low and behold, she ordered a vibrating dildo.

I joked with her and said I was sad that she didn't think my dick was up to par anymore and she laughed and said that they were the same size, she just wanted to try a few things. So the night the dildo came, I was eager to see what she had in mind.

She asked me if I'd fuck her in her ass. I'd never had anal sex with a girl before. Don't get me wrong, I tried. My ex some time before her flew off the bed in pain because I was too big. And since then, its never really been anything I thought of doing. The vagina and mouth work just as well.

I said hell yeah, and after careful careful careful amounts of effort, we got it in, and the fuck began. At first it was slow, incredibly slow. Almost to the point where I was just wanting to take it out and fuck her normal. But, as she always did, she surprised me. She started fucking speeding up to the point where it was like I was railing away at her like normal. I still was careful, I'd read too many horror stories.

In all this, I'd forgotten about the dildo. The purple, ugly, veiny didlo. The damn thing sat next to her as I fucked her ass sideways.

Now, I've watched a lot of pornos. And they've been the best education a man could ever need. I grabbed the damn thing, I never held one before, so it was like holding another man's penis. Odd. I decided I was going to double penetrate my girlfriend. I slowed down enough to work it in, and with the satisfactory moan from her, I did my best to maintain a rhythm. Eventually, I handed the rains of ol' Veiny to her and it was epic. She came a lot, I came a lot, and it was a fantastic night.

A few nights later, because I was out of town, I came home to her in a sexy little number and the ol Veiny on the bed. I figured we'd be repeating the night we had earlier in the week, and I was excited. The way she could work a dick, damn I hate the guy who she's with now...

So, we set about it, and she gets the lube out and starts applying it all over the dildo. I kind of had an idea what she was up to. I'm not a moron, and I'm horny like 99% of the time. The other percent I'm sleeping. She asks if she can use it on me.

I stared at her for a while wondering if there was a wrong answer here. I didn't know if it'd be like Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade, where I had to "Choose Wisely", or not. I decided, since she and I had been having wild nights, what the hell. We only live once.

Well, haha, it didn't work out. I did not have the anal space for anything like that, and honestly, I was terrified. I could tell she was disappointed, but not completely downtrodden about it. She told me that we'd have to work up to it. I agreed, if only to appease her.

So over the next couple of months, she would use two fingers instead of one, increasing slowly to three, to the point where it almost hurt when she was working her hand in and out.

Well, things didn't work out between us, and we ended up breaking up before ol' Veiny ended up anywhere near my ass. This is where I'm at now, and I can't figure out what's going on in my head.

I've had thoughts about having a dick jammed into my ass, and it subsequently railing it. I mean, not just any dick, a fit, young fellow like myself. Not a beary old dude. I dunno, there's just something about it that turns me on. I dunno if its because I still am drawn back to the passion with my ex, and kind of "finishing" what we set out to do, or what. I mean if that was the case, I'd just stick a dildo up there and call it a day. I think there's more to it than that.

I have what some may say is a sexy penis. Its not ugly or funny looking, its just exactly what its supposed to be. And I think thats the kind of penis I'd hope for haha. I see some of them in porn, and its kind of a turn off. So, I know its not the penis that draws me.

I've thought, maybe just a girl with a strap on? But I dunno, I feel like if I were to go that far, why not have it be a real, pulsing, throbbing cock?

These are questions I ask myself all the time. I know I love women, but maybe I'm not opposed to the idea of an attractive man. Only sexually though. I couldn't have a "relationship", per se. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm a supporter of equal rights, politically, sexually, you name it. I'm just not gay in that way. If at all. I think its a sort of bicurious attraction that I'll never fullfill. I dunno. I just had to get it out I suppose. I don't really talk to anyone about my sexual habits, so I figure a sex message board might be the place to do it.