WTF?

My Mom's Sex Addiction

My Mom's Sex Addiction

Safety First

Safety First

The Cam Whore Awards: Round Two

The Cam Whore Awards: Round Two

Not Even A Minute Man

Not Even A Minute Man

How To Eat Pussy

How To Eat Pussy

It Wont Fit

It Wont Fit

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4
Anonymous
@random
29 Dec 2019 6:42PM
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I went to a brothel one time(for research purposes). There was a list for the girls names and their do's and don'ts. There was a Porsche, a Mercedes, a Lexus ,and down near the bottom was a Camry. I thought to myself, wait a minute, that sounds right up my alley. I asked for Camry, and about 5 minutes later an 85 year old woman walked out of the back wearing a tank top that read Camry. I thought that figures, cause Toyota makes things that last. I fucked her so good that night, I put her in a Tacoma.

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Anonymous
@random
23 Feb 2009 10:10PM
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Philosophy of Sex

"I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy."
�Tom Clancy

"You know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me neither."
�Steve Martin

"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don�t have a good partner, you�d better have a good hand."
�Woody Allen

"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."
�Rodney Dangerfield

"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL."
�Lynn Lavner

"Leaving sex to the feminists is like letting your dog vacation at the taxidermist."
�Matt Barry

"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope."
�Camille Paglia

"Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant."
�George Burns

"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships."
�Sharon Stone

"My girlfriend always laughs during sex�-no matter what she�s reading."
�Steve Jobs (Founder, Apple Computers)

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
�Jack Nicholson

"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."
�Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady � and you didn�t think Barbara had a sense of humor)

"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man�s genitals through his wallet."
�Robin Williams

"Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself."
�Roseanne

"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."
�Billy Crystal

"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful."
�Robert De Niro

"There�s a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what�s the problem?"
�Dustin Hoffman

"There�s very little advice in men�s magazines, because men think, I know what I�m doing. Just show me somebody naked."
�Jerry Seinfeld

"Instead of getting married again, I�m going to find a woman I don�t like and just give her a house."
�Rod Stewart

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Swooky23
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@funny
31 Aug 2014 1:59AM
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A rich man and a poor man both share the same anniversary dates. On the day of their anniversaries the poor man asks the rich man what did he give his wife for their anniversary. The rich man says that he gave his wife a diamond ring and a new Mercedes. The rich man explains that he gave her the Mercedes so that if she doesn't like the diamond ring then she can drive it back to the jewelry shop and still be happy. The rich man asks the poor man what did he give his wife for their anniversary. The poor man says that he gave his wife some slippers and a dildo. The rich man asks "why the dildo". The poor man says "if she doesn't like the slippers then she can go fuck herself".

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5
bekka
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@random
30 Dec 2022 11:03AM
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A week after attending the party, Cheryl said that Steven told her they had pictures of us naked and video of me. He began dropping by our apartment, sometimes unexpectedly. Inevitably, they would end up in her bedroom. Cheryl was nearing completion of her supervisory training and did what she could to maintain good relations with him. One such night the subject of those pictures and videos arose. I questioned him about what they were doing with them; and, he told me that I would have to ask his friend Kevin. He showed me a couple of my pics on his cell, that confirmed what Cheryl had told me, and said that Kevin wanted to see me again. I said that I had no interest in seeing him; and, Steven said that he strongly recommended that I do. He said that he gave Kevin my cell number.

A few days later, Kevin called and asked me to dinner. I said that I wanted to talk about the pics; and, he said we could talk about them at dinner two days later. I know I shouldn't have gone; but, dumb ole me! When he picked me up that night, he was driving a Mercedes SUV and took me to a very nice downtown restaurant on the river front. We ordered a bottle of wine and drank half of it before our entrees were served. We both ordered seafood, which was excellent. He was very entertaining and funny and told me about his background. He was about 6'2" and one of the blackest black men I have seen. He said that he was from Nigeria, where his father was a tribal chief. He was the youngest of seven children and, like his five older brothers, he was sent to America for a college education. After graduation, he started a couple of businesses and was a partner in two more with men I had met at the party. I asked about the businesses and he would only explain that they were related to nutrician and wellness. Eventually, I asked about the pics. He said that we couldn't discuss that at the restaurant but would talk afterwards.

After leaving the restaurant, he took me to his apartment in a high-rise building along the Detroit river. It was decorated in an African style motif with heads of animals on the walls and animal skins draped over the couch and on the wall. His family crest was on the wall with crossed spears. He went to the kitchen and returned with two drinks. He said that it was a celebratory drink from his homeland that was used to honor special occasions. He was giving it to me because "I was most beautiful". It tasted slightly bitter but not unpleasant. It was very relaxing and I my vagina started to itch. I asked again about the pics and this time he showed me a few on his phone, then projected some video on his tv screen. The vids showed me having passionate sex with four men including himself. It also appeared that it was consensual. He said that the vids were his treasures and would keep them private if I became his friend.

As I watched, he moved close to me on the couch and began caressing my arm and leg. My itching became more intense; and, I could feel my pussy lubricating and my nipples hardening. My brain was in a fog as he kissed me with thick lips and slid his tongue between my parted lips. His hand went under my skirt and fingers worked my pussy through my panties. He whispered compliments and sexual comments in my ear. He pulled my sweater over my head and my tits out of my bra and began sucking on them with his thick lips. He unzipped my skirt and pushed his hand under the waistband of my panties and his thick fingers into my wet pussy. It felt soo good but didn't relieve the itching. He encouraged me to free his cock from his pants and feel its warmth and strength. I felt very warm and aroused and needed little encouragement. After I had that big black cock in my hand and I pumped it a few times, he pulled my face close and rubbed his cock along my cheeks and lips. I licked it from top to bottom as he guided my face from his cock to his big black nuts. I licked them also before capturing his cock in my mouth. His cock was more than 10" long with a protruding vein that snaked along it. I sucked as much of that monster as I could get in my mouth. He told me to swallow as he tried to push it into my throat. No luck there, I wasn't ready yet. He finished taking my clothes off and led me to his bedroom. Like the living room, his bed had an animal skin for a comforter. It was wildly exotic.

Once on his bed, he licked and sucked on my pussy until I exploded. My orgasm was probably the strongest that I had ever experienced. I was literally seeing stars. Then he licked the cum from my legs and pussy and hovered over me while he guided his cock into me. He went slowly giving me time to adjust to his girth until he had stuffed me with every inch. Then he began long slow strokes. Each time, it felt like a bolt of electricity taking me from empty to stuffed to empty again, only empty craved to be stuffed again. When my hips began reaching for him, he changed to pulling out slowly then slamming back into me. That quickly drove me to my second orgasm. Then, he gave me his cock to lick clean. Next, he pulled me on top of him. He squeezed my tits and pulled on my nipples while I rode his cock to another orgasm. He still had not cum. He put me in the doggie position with my ass up and my head down and squirted a generous amount of lube in my ass. Then positioned his cock at its entrance and pressed his knobby head into me. He could get only half inside me and tried different angles to get deeper. The lube helped a lot and he kept trying until he was balls deep. Initially, I felt a lot of pressure and some pain but the drink also relaxed my muscles and the pain lessened as he found the right angle and went deeper. Once inside, I fucked him with my ass with short slow strokes until we both had another orgasm.

While driving me home, he thanked me for being his friend and told me not to worry about the pictures.

Bekka
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Unlucky69
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@confessions
18 Jun 2023 8:04PM
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Be Careful What You Get Yourself Into

MY GIRLFRIENDS SECRET DESIRES (Part 3)

Mich my 22 year old Girl friend was a complete Virgin when i met her after 6 mths living together we both got a little drunk
By the way in case you for got my name is Paul im 25,

While being a little drunk Mich revealed a few dreams fantasies one was to be DP, Which we did in the dark only a dim landing light shone in to our bed room from a small glass window above the bedroom door, mine and her friend Peter had hidden in our bedroom behind the ceiling to floor curtains, i took her anal virginity, then she rode me before i noticed a shadow turned out to be peter who was naked and masturbating himself watching us fuck, he DP Mich with me she had no idea it was peter she was so drunk, I convinced her it was just me and her vibrator,
Talking a few days later Mich wanted to try the real thing, and suggested asking Peter, he had done a vanishing act,
I caught up with him a few weeks later he tried to get out the pub side door but that was locked, anyway we eventually sat down spoke about thing
he couldn't believe i was asking him to DP Mich again i had to tell him what i had told Mich
He agreed and after a few drinks a take away meal watching a movie, peter put a full blooded gangbang movie on 1 girl 5-8 guys was a homemade film ,
Myself and Peter DP, Mich over and over all night double pussy we tried double ass but she was to tight, we left her extremely satisfied all her hole full of our come her as and pussy was left bruised battered gaping,
during this experience Peter caught Mich watching the Gangbang movie and said i bet you would love all them cocks fucking your hole, i bet its a secret fantasy, he had a sinister grin on his face as he looked at me and Mich, i knew that grin,
I told Peter to forget any idea's he had in his head, Mich hearing what peter said, screamed at me Paul you fucking big mouthed cunt, i told you that was my secret dream, it was just a dream it was supposed to be just between me and you, and you told Peter,
I never told a soul i promise i wouldn't, Peter smiled told her i hadn't actually told him, he just took grasp in the dark after seeing her face while she watched the gangbang happening on the screen,
Mich got all shy went red faced said sorry to me, she said it was only a fantasy, she would never want one,
I've only just lost my ass virginity and done my first DP, I've tried it enjoyed it fantasy over,
Peter stayed the night we all shared our bed we did take Mich in her ass one more time each, when me and Mich woke up Peter had done a vanishing act again over the next month I tried to locate him but some people said he was on holiday others he was away with his job, but a few neighbours said he had moved away,

Now that is the back ground to this story so far. so you don't have to go through pages and pages of Confession stories to find parts 1 and 2

Thing was pretty normal for a few months, still no sign of Peter, myself Paul and Mich my now Fiancee (Yes i had asked her to marry me and she had excepted) our sex life was brilliant Mich love anal giving head and having lots of oral sex, we did do a little experimenting with light BDSM pussy ass and tit spanking and she slapped my ass cock and balls, was ok nothing special for me, Mich how ever really enjoyed her pussy being spanked and a little rough sex being tied up basic stuff,
We adventured in to going into sex shops and did go into a sex club it was a turn on but not really our seen, both myself and Mich like being the centre of attention and in the sex club there was loads me women mainly middle aged and oldies not many our age and to many black guy's made Mich very nervous,
So we tried private swingers and sex parties, the sex parties Mich loved as she was nearly always the youngest woman there and everyone paid attention to her, we did a few more DP''s at these parties but Mich would only let me take her ass, the swinger swap thing Mich hated as she knew she was going to have to fuck another woman while she had to fuck another guy, once we did a swinger Mich was made to eat another 2 women 69 both of them they fisted her pussy which she was uncomfortable with she didn't want to any Lesbian stuff while these women did her i was 2 seated by another 2 women 1 on my face other riding my cock, apparently it was our Initiation to the group once those 2 women had finished with me and done with Mich, they took me sat me down in a throne type chair 2 women stood either side at the back of me one knelt between my legs, i had no idea i was going to be tied in the chair and be given blow jobs by the 5 women there,
I lost sight briefly of Mich, but the second part of our more hers was about to take place in front of me, there was 7 other guy's Mich was naked was brought to me made to suck me as all 7 guys took turns fucking her pussy and ass, once they had used her hole they let me lose and i was to fuck Mich's holes, we stayed for a few hours i fucked all 5 women in there ass's obviously Mich did the other guys, again but only pussy sex,

We neve went to another swingers swap party, as Mich felt physically sick, she would most likely be expected to eat pussy again and she hated seeing me fucking other women, she said she hadnt minded the guys taking her in all holes, i pointed out that was basically a type of gangbang,
But Mich's version was her being taken by strangers having her clothes torn from her body forced to suck cocks have her pussy fuck then her ass DP her hole stretched out having all these me hurting her pinching her nipples clit, you name it a basic forced sex gangbang by complete strangers,
This really turned me on i loved to see it i'm trying to image other nasty shit they would do to her , her reaction would be out this world, but then despite it getting me hard horny, i would never really want my future wife to be completely ruined or hurt,
We agreed nothing like this would ever happen it was just a fantasy dream,

Another 6 months pasted and low and behold Peter appeared, knocking on our door he asked if he could stay for a few weeks till he found a new place to live, as the place he used to live had been sold,
We both asked where he had been and why he hadn't told us or contacted us, Peter came out with some lame ass excuse, he had been in America living with his sister as he encountered serious money problems back here in the UK,
things was going along smoothly.
Then came loud knocking on the front door 3 burly muscle bound guy's asking after Peter, this is when me and Mich learnt the truth, Peter owed loan Sharks a stack of money from bets he had made with bookies all owned by the same guy, who i had heard of nasty piece of work not to be messed with or crossed,
Obviously Peter had done a runner and thought it was safe to return, These guy's left him a MESSAGE
If he didn't go see them make an arrangement to repay his debits, they would find him and he would disappear again,
I knew exactly what they meant. when he got back it passed the message on shear horror and shock was written across his face,
He thanked me then asked if we needed anything from our local supermarket, i gave him £100 closed his hand wished him good luck, i knew he was going to run again, he thanked me opened the door as he stepped out side i heard a car screech to a halt doors open then shut then it wheel spun away, i knew they had taken Peter, to my Surprise Peter came back knocking on the front door smiling saying he had sorted out a way to repay them,
both me and Mich was really happy, he did show me they had beaten him, his ribs was bruised , he asked me not to tell Mich,
for the next month or so nothing no hassle, all 3 of us enjoyed our time together me and Peter at Mich's requested had slept in same bed and we had DP all her holes basically nightly she began to enjoy double pussy more and more, we did mange once to double fuck her ass but she couldn't take it hurt to much,

On this one morning i woke up i had a real bad feeling something wasn't quite rite just that feeling you get in your gut, Peter was a little figgety couldn't stay still, as the morning moved on he calmed down started to be Peter as we knew him,
Mich had planned to go do some clothe shopping and meet up with a few of her friends,
just before she left Peter said was it ok if he went with Mich, i was ok with it Mich said get ready then, off they went, i went to take the car to the Garage MOT was due soon so i was going to get it looked over,
as i was driving i seen who i thought was Mich and Peter walking along side the Canal they looked happy laughing, a bit further along i came over the bridge that crosse over the canal, i looked to see if i could see them but all i seen was someone getting into a car in a hurry then sped off, i thought nothing of it, i got back home was busy preparing dinner when the front door flew open and peter fell threw the door covered in blood, he was a rite mess i kind of guessed the guy he owed money to had done it to him, but there was no Mich, i asked Peter where Mich was he said those guys have got her, they think she was his Girlfriend,

I was so annoyed real angry that Peter had roped us into his trouble, then panic set in what the fuck would they do to Mich,
I got Peter talking he said every day he didnt pay then £1000 the guys would fuck Mich, if it went on more than 3 days without a payment she be pimped out,
I went made at him , he kept saying sorry through his tears, i got him to show me where the m,ain guy lived,
i plucked up the courage knocked on his door to my surprise i was invited in they guy was real nice to me, i explained to him my problem , he said that Peter had all this Planned out and he had arranged for "his" girlfriend Mich to be his safety net, and that Peter had said if he hadn't paid all the money back with in 6 weeks we could have his girlfriend a collateral,
I proved to him Mich was my Girlfriend, he promised she was safe and no one would harm or touch her, she was actually with his wife at his country retreat, and he would take me to her that evening,
I was to return to the house at 8pm and he take me to her,
but i had to deliver Peter to him at the local pub on my way to his house,
i kept this quiet from Peter, i said to him around 6pm lets go have a pint and work out a plan of just how he was going to pay and i get Mich back, i was still seething inside i just wanted to kill him.
To my surprise Peter agreed to go to the pub, he said very quietly got to face this one day, not my dream but its going to happen, ( I ididn't click on at the time)
Any way at the pub we had a pint and in walked these 2 guy's Peter looked at me and smile you had to didn't you he said, I returned by saying you did this to yourself got me and Mich involved and they have Mich god knows what they will do to her, i followed outside they tied his hand behind his back shoved him in the back seat and drove off, Peter turned looking back at me as they drove away,
Fuck him i thought to myself some friend you turned out to be,
I then drove to the house I was greeted in the drive way, i got in a nice smart new looking Mercedes car, i was asked after a few miles to put a blindfold on , we travelled what seemed like ages then i heard gravel the car pulled up i was taken into what i thought was a house taken to a room i removed the blind fold looking around in the room was around 10 maybe 12 soft comfortable chairs all facing this what looked like a massive wall to floor painting, i did notice all these soft chairs spun 360 degrees, there was a big table collapsed against the other wall so presumed it was an office used for board meetings or something, i was bought it some cans of lager and told the boss man would be with me soon, there was some kind of electronic music playing softly and there was a monitor in the one corner was playing some kind of motor repair documentary

WHAT HAD I GOT MYSELF INTO ???

TO BE CONTINUED SOON (Part 4)

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Anonymous
@funny
08 Dec 2010 1:09PM
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A black guy was driving a Mercedes, when suddenly one tyres went flat.
While he was changing his flat tyre another Negro came up behind him
and smashed the front window saying: "'right brotha, you take dem tires,
I'll take the stereo!"

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Anonymous
@requests
18 Feb 2011 2:38AM
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im looking for this girl ive now in high school and now shes a model for "deviant nation" she gose by mercedes if any one has any nude pics of her that would be the shit

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Anonymous
@chicks
18 Feb 2011 2:58AM
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im looking for some picks of this girl shes a model of deviant nation she gose by mercedes if any one has any picks of her nude or fuckin send it my way

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Anonymous
@requests
10 Nov 2012 9:49PM
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Oh lord will you buy me a Mercedes Benz

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