Stress relief handie

quite recently i posted on here regarding my exploits while i was incarcerated, to sum up i was basically leaving my shit all around the prison, smearing shit on other prisoners and myself and just generally being what most people consider revolting with shit.
i have kind of decided to make myself even more objectionable now that i have been released back into the community. my plan involves me commencing a sexual relationship with one of my fellow inmates long time girlfriends, i have already done much of the ground work on this so it can happen when ever i choose basically. the inmate in question is serving a fairly long stretch but after having sex with his gf my plan involved me shitting all over his house. in the bed, on tables and seats smearing the poo all over the place. i would desire to take some photos of my handy work that could be conveyed to him.
i imagine he would be totally infuriated, im going to love hearing about the reaction and fall out over this.

Hey, I love groping, I was wondering if anyone knew of any where the woman gives in and gives him a handy or helps out. I don't want any of the japanese stuff where they just do that, I mean like, legitimate.

I confess that I had sex with a married woman

I am 29 and she is 41. She looks amazing, and Im not talking about amazing for her age, she looks terrific. She’s very fit, about 5’4, maybe 50kgs (I think that’s about 110lb), a or b cups that are very firm which surprised the hell out of me because she has a kid, long blond hair, hour glass shape that I love, without carrying a heap of extra weight or any hail damage. She talks a lot. I mean a lot. Its part of her job to talk (no, she is not in marketing).

The two of us share a hobby that has us running into each other weekend or so. I have more of talent for it than she does, it may have all started when she was asking me about the strategies that I have, which I happily share with anybody.

I live and work away from home and for Christmas just gone I was going home for 2 weeks and wouldn’t be back till jan 3rd. Just before I left quite a few of us were out and about for her birthday (including her husband). After quite a few drinks her husband left because he had to work the next day. After a few more she started dropping some subtle hints. Then her other friends left and the hints became not so subtle. After pretty well everybody took off but her and I, the most awkward conversation that I have ever had in my life started. She came out and said that she’s “attracted to me” and that her and her husband haven’t had sex in more than a year. Considering that we were both drunk we then headed to the back of the bar and started making out. After a few minutes we were kicked out by security and we both went our separate ways home.

It was only a few days later that I took off for home and I had assumed that by the time I got back that the whole thing would be forgotten about and that she would be over her little crush by the time I got back. We didn’t even have each other’s numbers so we didn’t even have any contact for about 2 and a half weeks.

About a week after I got back we saw each other and everything was fine. Nothing was awkward or weird and everything seemed to be back to normal. But at the end of the night she asked me for my number, so I gave it to her.

Then the txts started. It was really flattering. I am not a good looking guy and this spectacular looking woman was txting me about all sorts of things. First it was how we were going to meet up with our past time, then how we were going to meet up for lunch with just the two of us, then how we were going to meet up for drinks on Friday or Saturday night.

We had a few false starts. We had both been drinking, but I am a heavy drinker already and can handle a fair bit of alcohol before I start to go downhill, she on the other hand cannot. It has come to the end of the night and she has asked me back to her place despite the fact that it was after 3am and that her husband and young daughter were there. No matter how many time I brought that up and suggested we go to mine instead she constantly declined and I wasn’t going to push too hard. By coincidence we live very close to each other, about a 10 or 15 min walk. After about 30 mins of constantly trying to get her to turn the music she was playing down and get her to sit down next to me, the alcohol got to her and she started to feel sick, so that was the end of that. She went into her bed room and woke up her husband to help her into the toilet so she could throw up and I was out the back door faster than I had ever moved in my life.

The next week we got the cab back to her place again, about the same time of night and rather than go in, we stood out the front of her place and made out for about 20 mins, then I walked home.

We went out again the next day for an early dinner and finally she decides she want to come back to my place. But she hasn’t made up her mind yet on whether or not she wants to have sex with me. So we are making out on my couch with her shirt of and me completely naked dry humping until she gives me a handy to finish me off. That might sound shit to you guys but I had a beautiful woman give me a handy after not having sex for almost 6 months, and that last one was an ugly, ugly bitch.

Next weekend (Friday just gone) we are out again and very early she asks me if we can head back to my place, of course the answer is yes. It was pretty clear that it was going to happen. We are back at mine and this time it is straight to my bed we are making out for a long time with our cloths very slowly coming off piece by piece. She was wearing a light colour dress with lycra leggings, high heels and a push up bar. I have her dress and bar off again and her small but really firm tits are right in front of my face. She has these perfect nipples that have a really deep pink colour that is a really wonderful contrast to the light colour skin of her breasts. Im taking turns sucking on each one. After a long time I work my way down and for the first time I see her pussy. She doesn’t have knickers on under her leggings. I slide them down her legs and after a little trouble getting them over her high heels, which she never took off the entire time.

I start by licking her pussy which is completely shaved. She making moaning sounds and gently bucking her hips into my face as I go to town with my tongue. After about 10 mins of that she’s stopped me and started on my turn. It’s been a long time since I had a good blow job and it was just a really great feeling. I just lay back and enjoyed it for a while but it really wasn’t what I was after so I didn’t leave her there too long.

I ask her to lie back and ask her “are you sure you want this?” and she says “yes… but you have to put a condom on”. Ok, almost got away with it but its no drama. I put it on, kiss her on the lips and gently feel her pussy with my fingers to guide myself in. I push myself into her and she feels like a woman who hasn’t had sex in a long time. Im still kissing her but she stops and lets out a sigh. Shes soaking wet so I slide in without a whole lot of drama, without her feeling like shes a vag like a windsock.

It’s no surprise to me that she’s a screamer considering that she talks so much. I am on top for about 15 mins and I have her legs on my shoulders with her high heels sticking up in the air and our hands and fingers interlocked as I am going as hard as I can without going off. Shes stopped me because she wanted to put her legs down, so as I have rolled off her she has rolled on me, which is great news for me. I can last a lot longer when I am not in control of the motion. Shes have a great time on top of me grinding into me as she is scratching my chest with her nails and screaming loud enough for me to worry about waking up the neighbours, but not worried enough to stop or tell her to keep it down.

After maybe 20 mins she cums and drops down on my chest breathing very heavy. Her hair was in my eyes but rather than move or complain im just enjoying the feeling of me being inside her and weight on me.

After she has caught her breath she rolls off and pulls me ontop of her again. Shes telling me to fuck her harder and harder, and I am just smashing her has hard as I can while she is digging her nails into my back and I am pulling her hair (not to hard). It only takes me about 10 mins to cum.

We lie naked in bed for about an hour just making small talk. Despite the fact that I have had shit load of booze, she convinces me to give her a lift home with very little effort on her part. I didn’t see her for the rest of this weekend and she has already told me that she is busy on Friday night but wants to see me on Saturday.

I am still not sure how I feel about all this yet. I don’t know her husband as he doesn’t share this hobby that we have. The problems in their marriage are largely caused by his reaction to the financial problems that they are having. They have lost a lot of money in some bad investments and he has thrown himself into work and is completely ignoring her (or at least that is what she is telling me). But in all honestly, that sounds a lot like something that I would do if I was in that situation, I am a bit of an arsehole as I am sure I didn’t have to prove considering I just fucked another man’s wife. Its difficult to reconcile these actions of by say that he’s messing up his marriage when I have many of the same character faults (and evidently a few more).

I console myself with the fact that she made every single move from start to finish, which I am not saying excuses or absolves me from any blame at all, but at least I didn't set out to do this. Of course I could have and should have said not at every point along the way, but the feeling of a spectacular looking woman wanting to have sex with me is just too much to say no to. I have no idea how this will end but if at any point she decides that she wants to end it I will let it go without an issue. Hopefully I can just enjoy the ride for the time being.

If you have any questions, feel free to ask. I have no idea weather or not I will answer as I may or may not check back. Plus there are to many cum stains here saying "pics or gtfo" or "i'm the OP and I'm a fag" so there is a half decent chance that I will just never check back, but I might.

I ah...well.....one hot day in the kitchen......I lifted moms slip from behind her! What aview, her all shocked, and back in the 60's this was certainly a no no !! Well the shcocked look on her pretty face...gaww yesss... But...didn't move..or beat me to death.....stayed there...looked around kind ah guilty.
WEll... all the feeling..mashin her slip up....lettin those big wonderous breast out over her bra cups !! She gave in......ooo what ahnd full me so young.. !!
Was hot to have something besides high school girls !!
Its wrong but....when doin it...ooo yessss !! So much to see...feel....and savor !! Well...was handy to !! LOL

Minirock im Alltag
Im Bordell, auf dem Strassenstrich, für Parkplatzsex, in Pornovideo tragen Nutten, Huren und Transen oft einen ultrakurzen Minirock, für mehr sexuelle Erregung der Kunden. Das Sexgewerbe lebt von Geld für Sex, schnell mal ficken lassen mit und ohne Gummi.
Wann animiert der Minirock zu Sex im Alltag. Kommt auf die Kürze an. Wird noch der Tanga öffentlich zur Schau gestellt, kann schon sein, dass jemand fragt ob er bürsten darf. Wird dazu noch das Handy eingeschaltet, also Sex vor laufender Kamera, ist gleich auch ein Porno für das Netz beisammen

I love looking been the legs of women thinking about how they only have one or two layers of fabric keeping me from seeing their fine pussies and whether they shave or keep their little bushes growing. Then I think about how, if they are wearing panties, it's gusset is rubbing up against their bare pussies... I wonder what their panties look like, plain? lacy? cotton? color? Are they perhaps ovulating or on the rag? Pad or tampon? Did she have sex recently? Is there perhaps a mix of her and her lovers cum drying between her legs? If she's ovulating, is she thinking about it, reflecting on her monthly egg? Some I speculate about whether they may or may not be virgins even, others are proven not to (being milfs).
What does her pussy look like? An tasty bun innie? Lovely expressive flowery butterfly lips? What about their clits? Endless variation and beauties, each a masterpiece of it's own...

I try to peek (down their backs, esp. if they're reaching for something and bending over) when I think it's safe, maybe catching a glimpse of their panties, some times I don't, some times I do... and then I'm usually able to see enough to figure our the color and general type of panties (thongs are usually obvious, and look rather uncomfortable, and I amuse myself thinking about how totally socially suicidal it would be to suggest we make a trip to a near by clothing store to get her some more comfy knickers to be snugly making out with her pussy lips, and maybe a matching bra if she's "kind enough" to let me check the fit and how well it holds her tits).

Of course, I also feel a strong desire and yearning to cum in their pussies, and then think about how they have my cum in their pussies and making a mess in their knickers. Which of course makes me wonder how many of them are on some kind of protection and not, and how many are trying for babies... Looking at those I know have kids, I think that it would be fun to put one of mine in them, of course I'd rather their existing ones be my handy work, but, they're milfs and that's hard without them having prior kids. Also, it would be fun, sending them home with a fertile unprotected pussy teeming with my seed, hopefully one of them entering her egg as she enters her home with a secret in her she'll have to convince is her man's doing. That or her telling me she had to have an abortion because she realize she was preggers, letting me know I had her pregnant for a few weeks or so... of course I'd tell her I'd be happy to knock her up again...
It would be fun, discretely checking her belly for the signs of success, and wondering what's at work inside her womb. Letting her catch me looking, and give her a wink and seeing her reaction, maybe a smile and posing or perhaps and embarrassed look of guilt or just shyness.

But most of the times, all I have time for, is a quick fleeting glance at their clad crotch or their wiggling ass as they walk away or sit down and an inner smile of all I can imagine seeing and doing. It's so easy to get distracted, so tempting... Most of them would probably not take it as a compliment that I'm that curious about their female bits, or how I would love to cum in them, not because I love them, but because I'd love to simply have my cum in their pussies and know it's there inside them exploring their most intimate parts and folds and maybe finding a big price and knowing the feeling of being inside each any every one of them while cumming...

just found this in an old usenet archive i once downloaded.... good advice

ERIN'S BLOWJOB ADVICE FOR GOOD SLUTS

There is a lot of bad information about how to give a good blowjob on the internet. I have written this guide to help girls understand how they can be much better at doing what they are supposed to do. I am hereby releasing this text into the public domain so all sluts can read it.

I am calling you sluts because that is the first thing you have to understand. If you want to do what you are meant to do then you can't think of yourself as girlfriend, wife, lover. When a man looks down at you and sees you with a cock in your mouth, he sees a slut. You are a slut.

WHAT'S THE PURPOSE OF A BLOWJOB

Don't listen to advice that tells you blowjobs are intimate or loving. Blowjobs are not even about physical pleasure. Fucking your mouth feels good for a man but so does fucking your other holes. The reason men like to fuck your face is the same reason they like to fuck your ass: because it degrades you. When a man makes you gag on his cock, it's not an accident. He wants you to suffer. A man does not cum in your mouth because it feels good. Cumming feels the same everywhere. He cums in your mouth because he wants you to taste his cum. Men like to watch women gag on dildos. The dildo doesn't feel anything. Men just like to see women humiliated. That's also why they like to cum on a woman's face. To mark her as a slut.

Do you understand that? That's you.

THE FIRST RULE OF BLOWJOBS: DON'T COMPLAIN

Don't complain if deepthroating his cock makes you gag. Don't complain if he cums in your mouth. Don't complain if he cums on your face. Don't complain if he slaps you. Don't complain if you don't like the taste of his cock. Don't complain if he fucks your throat so hard that you vomit. Don't complain if you can't breathe. Don't complain if he doesn't stop when you want him to.

Remember: if you feel like crying, you're doing it right.

THE BASICS

You're here to get fucked. That means his cock will go into your throat, not just your mouth. You have three important holes: your mouth, your pussy and your asshole. Your mouth shouldn't get fucked less deeply than the other two.

You're not here just to lick his cock. The reason you may have to lick his cock is so that you can get its taste in your mouth. If a man asks you to lick his cock, he wants you to really fill your mouth with the taste of penis so that you know you're a slut. But that's just a detail. You're here to get facefucked.

Getting facefucked can be active or passive. Either he fucks your throat with his cock, his fingers or a dildo. Or you do it yourself. In both cases you have no control. You don't set the rhythm. You don't take breaks unless told to. You never use your hands unless he says so. You just open your mouth and take his cock as deep as it goes. Not "as deep as you can"! Your lower lip should touch his balls. If he holds you down, don't struggle. Remember: you're a slut. He knows you don't like it. That's why he's doing it.

HOW TO SWALLOW

If he cums in your mouth, you will always swallow his cum. The only reason you would ever spit out some cum is if he tells you to, for example if you're supposed to wear it on your tits or spit it into the mouth of another girl.

You should never take cum down the back of your throat. If you do that, you won't taste it. Always draw back enough to let him cum into the front of your mouth, onto your tongue. He wants you to know that taste. He wants you to know what you've done. You've taken a man's semen into your mouth like a whore. He may ask you to show him his cum on your tongue, to remind you of your position. Never swallow immediately.

THE SECOND RULE OF BLOWJOBS: MOST CUM BELONGS IN YOUR MOUTH

Sometimes a man will cum on other parts of your body, such as your face, your tits, your pussy or your ass. He may take a photo of you in this humiliated position. Two things may now happen: you will have to keep the cum where it is, or you will eat it. Wiping it off is not an option. Don't even think about it. If he doesn't tell you to walk around for the rest of the day with cum on you, then as soon as he is satisfied with seeing you like this, you will take the cum with your hands and put it in your mouth. If you have large enough breasts, lick the cum off them with your tongue. Even after that, do not wash yourself or rinse your mouth unless he tells you to. A good blowjob can continue to humiliate you with the smell and taste for hours. He may fuck your throat again multiple times until you are a complete mess, or send you out of the house to humiliate you in public. This is part of what it means to be a woman who sucks cock.

There are other situations where you should swallow cum. If a man fucks you, he may cum inside you or into a condom. In the first case, stuff several fingers into yourself (at least two) and put the cum in your mouth. The fact that you are tasting your own pussy or ass will make it better for him. Also remember to clean off his cock. In this case licking can be good, because he wants you to taste it.

If he came into a condom, you should invert the condom into your mouth. He may also do this for you. Condoms are also an easy way of filling up a bra with cum so you can wear it for the rest of the day. Once the condom is mostly empty, put it into your mouth and lick it clean. Don't take it out until he tells you to. Condoms can taste very bad. Your suffering will please him.

THE REST OF YOUR BODY

While you are sucking cock, there is no reason not to use the rest of your body to improve the experience for him. You have a lot of options.

If your hands are free, you should use them on yourself. You can play with your tits or finger your pussy or asshole. Don't try to pleasure yourself, just penetrate yourself deeply. If he momentarily stops fucking your throat, stick those same fingers into your mouth and keep going. There is no reason for you not to be gagging.

Dildos and buttplugs are also useful. If your position allows it, they can also free your hands so that you can have your holes fucked and still play with your tits. Bottles (beer, shampoo) can be used as well.

Clamping your nipples during a blowjob isn't always a good idea, as he may want to play with them himself, but the bouncing caused by your throat being fucked will make the clamps hurt you more. It will be uncomfortable for you and look very good for him.

DILDOS AND OTHER OBJECTS

You should start learning how to humiliate yourself without a cock. A dildo can do a very good job of degrading you. You can use a dildo to show your man what a slut you are by gagging on it nonstop for a long time. Since the dildo will never cum, you can keep gagging on it until he tells you to stop. This can mean ten minutes or three hours. To make it better, use the dildo on all of your holes. He will appreciate your facial expression as you gag on your own pussy juices. Not being wet is not an excuse.

A man can also use a dildo to fuck your throat. Such throatfucks are usually some of the roughest you can experience. Now the man is not getting any pleasure at all. He is only doing this to hurt you. Keep your hands busy and away from your mouth.

Other objects can also be used to fuck your throat. Bottles are a popular choice and easily available. If your bed has a bedpost, gag on it before and after fucking it. Men enjoy seeing women using inanimate objects from their environment as sex toys. They know that after an object has been used to degrade or hurt you, you will never look at it the same way again. They want everything around you to remind you of the slutty things you've done.

PANTIES

Your panties are an important part of you as a woman. They express who you are and how you deserve to be used.

When sucking a man's cock, always wear a thong or G-string. They can come in very handy.

In many positions a man can use your thong to hurt your pussy by pulling on it as he fucks your throat. It also makes your ass look slutty, like it should. Wear tight thongs that split your pussy lips. If they are slightly painful to wear, they are the right size.

Your panties can be put into your mouth before, after and even during a blowjob. They can also be stuffed into your pussy to increase your discomfort as you suck. If nothing else is happening to your pussy, you should always do this yourself. When he's done fucking your throat, you can take them out and put them into your mouth as a sign of how much of a whore you are.

Panties can also be used to wipe cum off your body so it can go where it belongs: your mouth.

THE THIRD RULE OF BLOWJOBS: VOMITING IS NO REASON TO STOP

If you follow the rules, it's possible that you will throw up while being throatfucked. This is not a reason to stop sucking or to complain. Most men aren't turned on by the vomit but by your humiliation. Keep taking the cock as hard as before, just remember to clean up your mess after you're done like a good girl.

IDEAS TO KEEP IT INTERESTING

Suck his cock after he's just pissed. You'll have to get used to the taste anyway. Begin by licking the drops of piss off his cock with your tongue.

Suck his cock after he's fucked another woman. Maybe one of your friends, or your sister.

Always use the same panties to wipe off the cum and put it in your mouth. Never wash them. Every time you use them will be more disgusting for you and more exciting for him.

Try taking his cock and a dildo into your throat at the same time.

Sleep at night with a dildo or buttplug in your mouth.

Suck cock in public.

Film yourself sucking cock, then suck him while watching a video of yourself gagging and crying.

Talk to your girlfriends about cocksucking.

Throatfuck yourself with a dildo in public.

Come up with new ideas! You're a slut, act like one.

- Erin -

I confess I went on spring break with one of my best friends and ended up fucking her while drunk.
Four of us planned on going, but two bailed the week before. we already had reservations at the campground, so the two of us went.
we went out one night and bar crawled downtown. She did some body shots at coyote ugly. that was hot. Then we went back to the tent around one am.
i was particularly horny because of the beer and we shared an inflatable mattress with separate sleeping bags. i cuddled her because it was fucking cold, but it was the alcohol tht put my hand on her tit, and then my mouth on her neck.
i seduced her with my touch and took her shirt off. i started kissing her nipples and sucking on them as i fingered her to orgasm.
she offered to give me a handy in return, but i had a better idea. We got up and went to the camp shower house and fucked in the women's shower at 2 in the morning. the moaniing was so hot echoing in the bathroom.
As we happened to both be dating otherss at the time... we both pretend nothing happened. Now there's a ton of sexual tension and we dont see much of each other anymore.

A confession? Sure. I am near death but still healthy. I have cancer and it is terminal. I have 4 main confessions for you. One at a time though. Just to gauge interest.
I'm not a typical person, I suppose. For one, I am very tall at 6'5". I am Native American, Cree to be precise. I got married young but like my dad, I'm a flirt. And like my dad, I will be gone too early. Same disease, different types. I weighed about 260 lbs at this juncture. Facebook was relatively new and of course we added it to our tools of communication. Family from long distance, the kids, old friends from school. It is a handy tool.
Like I said, our children were in our contacts. My second oldest had graduated and was killing time till secondary schooling. I was still working at the time and only seen the kids around suppertime.
My presence on FB was a funny one I guess. I posted my thoughts and people thought they were funny. I also posted music from YouTube, songs of my youth mostly. I was quite amused to hear that my daughter (18) and her friends read my posts and listened to my posted music. I was very surprised when one of daughters friends contacted me on messenger.
It was innocent at first, I like to believe. She was big into music as was I. Emm was a beautiful girl. Came from a good family. I didn;t know her parents but I knew of them. If this story has any interest I have a few pics I can share. Tasteful but nude.
One evening I posted some Simon and Garfunkel. Soon enough Emm slid into my messenger. "Would you be my Mr. Robinson?" I lolled back at her. For I was taken aback. Then she sent me a picture of her at that moment. I was floored. She had the most fantastic body. Albeit a little skinny, you could tell she would be an absolutely beautiful woman. We exchanged more messages and she sent me more pictures. It all culminated at a football game. It was planned.
It was at her home.Her parents were at the game too.
As I stepped in she pressed herself against me. It flowed so natural and easy. She was a virgin but knew what she wanted. Or thought she wanted. I ate her for the first 30 minutes. She came twice. She tried to take me in her mouth. It was a fine try. We hugged and kissed, I placed her on top of me. Hands roaming, feeling that body, she's practically writhing on me. Her knees come to my sides and I feel her moist heat on my crotch. My cock jerks in anticipation. She brings her arms in, underneath her body, on my chest. Her butt rises. I place my cock at her entrance. She bares down, mewling and moaning. Such a sexy sound. I break through. We stop and kiss. I hold her head and look into her eyes. I push in more. That face. So lustful.
Despite the head I cum pretty quick. But she is not disappointed. We got together 4 more times after that before she left for Uni. We still talk every now and again. She still loves my posts. She has a new guy. Roughly the same age as me and he seems pretty cool. No hate, only good memories.
Pics if requested.

Is there any chance of getting categorized favourites installed on the site? All the other sites are using it and it would come in very handy to organize your favourites according to specific fetishes.