sometimes i wonder why relationships with previous girls haven't worked out.

was it me? was it her? was it the timing or where i was at mentally? why does it even bother me? why do i let it stop me from falling in love?

i've had good experiences and bad ones. i've hung around gay people just to test the waters and allowed myself into certain situations which i knew would leave me vulnerable. i felt i grew from these experiences but actually, it's made me feel empty. i've dated students, a nurse, a stripper, a medical doctor, a girl that was allergic to condoms, girls online n i've been in drunk and sober threeways.

these people have been in my life intimately and know me in ways that no one else does but, now, when i look at it - as i approach my mid 20s, i look at these past relationships with an ounce of sadness n disgust in myself. i recall a violent relationship, a deep relationship and the last one, my first love.

will the next girl i date feel special? will i think that we've got something special going on? has my past relationships n companions made it impossible for me to feel again? has the things i've done affected my morals and beliefs? i once had limits. now, i just look at people like they're emotions that can either make me happy or sad. they're not people anymore. they're just objects to use.

maybe it's safe to say that no future intimate relationship will ever happen. not a happy one with me.

end of the text.

I confess that when I look at porn I get out of control. It becomes my drive and I get so caught up in it that I can't think of anything else. I have been "using" porn for 18 years since I got my
first computer, and It's taken a long time, but It's finally controlling my life. It also cost me my marriage. I've gotten into gay, tranny, and satanic porn and it's made me bisexual. It just gets more and more perverted... not that there's anything wrong with perversion as long as it's not controlling you.

Last night I hooked up with a guy from Craigslist, went over to his house, and sucked his dick for an hour until he came im my mouth (I spit it out... cum tastes like shit). This was my 4th time hooking up with a guy on craigslist since last summer.

I learned when I told my (now) ex wife about my problem that you just keep some things to yourself. (or spill your guts anonymously via Motherless...Thanks Motherless!)

I want to hook up with a sexy, super fem shemale, not just to fuck, but to love. Wether or not im gay because of this fantasy doesnt really bother me. Problem is, im too much of a chickenshit to make that gigantic of a step into "deviance". Everyone i know would probably shun me. and i wouldnt want to lose all my friends and hurt my family over something that might not even work out.

Oh, and lets not forget that i already have a g/f thats helping me get through school and paying all the bills... but i honestly dont love her anymore...

things could be worse, but ill be fucked if this doesnt suck ass.

:(

When I was 18 I ventured to the seedy section of Boston called the Combat Zone. I heard all the sordid stories of prostitutes and strippers as well as the crime and how rough it was. I was curious to what really went on down there so one night I skipped out on my friends and headed into Boston to check it out. I was 5'11 long blonde hair and weighed 135lbs. I had on jeans and a t-shirt and definitely peeked the interest of a few men as I walked down the street. I was new to sex with girls and had never had sex with a guy. I knew I wasn't gay or anything like that. I walked by a few strip bars and some adult book stores and came to one that looked interesting. I didn't see anyone in the store so I went in.

As I walked in I was stopped at the counter by the clerk who asked me for my ID. I gave him my drivers license and he laughed and said sure kid have fun. I was very young looking. I was 18 but I looked closer to 14 or 15. I walked up and down the aisles looking at the huge collection of porn magazines and sex toys. When I came to the back of the store I saw another section called Peep Booths. I asked the guy who was sitting at the desk what it was. He asked if I had ever been to a peep show before. I told him no I hadn't he said well its a bunch of booths inside where a person can go and watch some porn videos. I asked how much it was and he said $3 minimum. I gave him a $5 dollar bill and he gave me my tokens. He said go inside and find a booth and enjoy. I took my tokens and walked inside. It was so dark I could hardly see my own hand in front of me. As I walked along I felt hands grabbing my cock and ass. I kept moving not stopping. I walked up and down through this maze of booths and came to one that I thought I would try. I went inside and locked the door behind me and put a token in the machine and the video started playing. As the video played I could see in the booth and noticed a hole on one side of the booth. I looked down and saw a man in the other booth obviously jerking off. I sat up on the chair and watched my video. When the time expired I put another token in.
I then heard a knock on the door and a man said open the door please. I thought it was the man from upfront but when I unlocked the door a black guy pushed his way inside and told me to be quiet. I was very scared. He asked why I was there and I said I was just watching a video. He asked me if I sucked cock and I told him no I was straight. He laughed and said that doesn't mean anything. Lots of straight guys suck dick. I then noticed that he had his cock out. It was very big. Much bigger than my 5.5 inch cock. He told me to suck his cock. I told him I didn't want to. That's when he took out a bottle and said here sniff this it will make you feel better. I didn't know what they were. I asked and he said they were called poppers. I took a sniff and all of a sudden I felt so lightheaded like I was high. I had no control and I went to me knees. The guy then took my head and shoved his cock into my mouth. Suck it he said. I didn't know what to do my head was spinning. I began sucking his cock and I could taste his salty precum. He was holding my head shoving his black cock deep into my throat making me gag. First time my ass he said. You're a natural. I was starting to get my head straight when he stuck the bottle under my nose and told me to sniff it again. I did and it all started again. My head was spinning. I felt helpless and was doing what he told me to do. Then I heard him unlock the door. I saw out of the corner of my eye the door open and could see 2 or 3 guys standing there watching as I sucked my first cock. About 5 mins later I felt him pull my head closer and he shot his load into my mouth and told me to swallow it. I was choking and trying to swallow but it was too much. I spit some out and it landed on my shirt. He let go of my head and I sat there on the floor looking up. Then he got out and another guy got in. He took his cock out and told me to suck him. Feed him some poppers I heard a voice say and the bottle was placed at my nose for me to inhale. I knew what to do at this point and inhaled. Then opened my mouth to take this new guys cock. He was also black and very fat. I sucked his cock and he came rather quickly. Another guy came in and said he wanted my hole. I was pleading for him to not do it. But he pulled my pants down and spun me around and told me to bend over. I did and he again fed me some poppers. He said this will make it better and I felt his cock press against my virgin asshole. I wanted to scream but my head was still spinning and I felt him enter me. I couldn't believe all of this was happening to me. I felt his cock open my tight hole and slide in and out. His balls were slapping my balls as he thrust in and out. That's it baby take that dick. You like it don't you he said and I said no. Then another person held the poppers under my nose again. They were controlling me with these poppers. He fucked my ass and shot his load deep in me. When he pulled out I felt his cum run down my legs. He was then replaced by another and then another. In all I took 4 cocks up my ass and sucked off 4. They all left me there when they were done using me and I sat in the booth crying my eyes out. I was so ashamed and didn't want to leave. After about 30 mins I gathered myself up and walked out. Not making eye contact with anyone. When I got outside there were 3 or 4 guys standing outside and I walked past them. As I walked by they said good night sweet cheeks and all laughed. I felt like shit. I kept walking even when a prostitute asked me if I wanted a date. I kept that story to myself until just now. I now know this was my reason for becoming bi later in life.

So this is where we confess stuff I guess. I'm a closeted bisexual guy and since I was in my early teens I had always wanted to suck some cock. I never did anything about it cause I was worried people would find out and I'd be labeled as gay. But after years I couldn't take it anymore so I found out there's an adult bookstore an hour from me with a viewing arcade. I had read stories about what happens there so I went to try my luck. I got lost twice on my way there but I finally found it. It took me a good 20 mins to work up the courage to actually go in but I finally did. There were a lot of booths in there and a bunch of guys just walking around. I had no idea what to do.i finally went into a booth and but a dollar in and watched a little bit of porn. Once my time ran out I had a hard on and stepped out to see if I could find someone. When I was about to leave this 60 something year old man came in an sensed what I wanted to do. He signals me and asks me if he can join me in a booth, I just nod cause I'm so nervous. We walk in close the door and just on instinct I get on my knees awhile he undoes his pants. He had a thin 5 inch dick and I just went with it. All nervousness went away I just started sucking and licking. I ran my tounge up and down his shaft and started sucking his balls I was amazed at how easy it came to me. He asked me if I wanted to go to his house I shook no cause I was too scared, I wish I had said yes still regret it. Anyway I kept sucking for a couple more minutes when someone knocked on the door. I had never been in adult bookstore so I just assumed it was someone going around making sure nothing was happening so I got so scared and said I have to go. It makes me sad I didn't get to make him cum. It took me a year to work up the courage to go back but that second time I was bolder. By this time they had glory holes cut into some booths. I went into one and soon after a guy walked in and started watching a movie and jacking off. I knelt down and was looking at him I finally whispered can I suck it. He quickly got up and I had this 7 inch black cock. I started bobbing on it. Gagging as I tried to deep throat it. I don't know if he warned me or not but in a couple minutes I feel him blow his load down my throat while I had him deep in my mouth. He then quickly left but a minute later and old m an came and started quickly jacking off then he saw me near the hole and stuck his small cock in. I was in there for 15 minutes before he left cause I guess he couldn't cum. Afterwards I quickly left and drove home with the taste of cock and cum in my mouth

I'm very private & discreet. I like some nasty, wild, & exciting fun. I like Gay/bisexual men &/or woman, Transsexual, & Crossdressers if you actually look like a woman to be my bottom & let me fuck the juices out that pussy. I'm a top (I don't get fucked). I love head & I would love to return the favor. I'm open to Threesomes (MFF, MFM, MMM, MTF, MTM, MTT) & Group Sex with couples. Love being dominant & in control. I get a thrill off the forbidden, sneeky, & thrill seeking sex. I also love making the Impossible possible & having something I never think I'll have. Now don't get me wrong, I'm all for a romantic setting, some 4-play, a lil role playing, especially if the woman is exotic & being enticing, I HAVE A Erotic, Flirtatious Nature. I'm kinky, nasty, ambitious, spontaneous, & tempting. I love Fun sex, wild sex, rough sex, I'm embracing my desires. I am what I am. I love what I love. Pornstar mentality & a open mind. I'm on a different level for some & too mature for most. I'm not judgemental & I try somethings at least once. I love to teach & be taught.

I confess I sucked the propane guy's dick.

*THIS IS GAY - NO BASHING*

Yesterday the man that comes to fill my dad's propane tank came to the house. Usually he doesn't knock and just goes into the back to do his thing. Yesterday he knocked...while I was in the middle of jerking off and super horny.

I pulled on some pants fast and raced downstairs, my face still flushed and answered the door. My bulge was showing when I answered it and the man immediately looked at it then looked at me with a slight grin.

"Here to fill your tank," he said. "name's Mike."

Mike had a dark moustachem straggly hair and stood about 6 ft 4. He had a big gut and was very hairy.

Since it was gonna take a couple minutes and I was really horny I invited him in for a cup of coffee, he agreed.

After about a minute I decided to make my move.

"I'm gonna go change, be right back," I said.

I went to my room which was right next to where Mike was drinking his coffee and left the door wide open. He went to stop the pump and came back in. I saw him peeping his head when I was completely naked and then got enough courage to say;

"You could come in if you'd like"

Mike was infuriated by this, stomping in and asking me if I thought he was a fag, which I replied of course with no. I was still naked and he had gotten behind me. I felt the texture of his jeans and his cold belt buckle ride up and down my ass as he forced my head down onto my bed.

"Imma make YOU the fag," he whispered in my ear.

When I thought he was about to rape me, he pulled my hair and forced me down to his unopened zipper.

"Kiss it through the jeans, girl."

I did

"Take it out now, real gentle."

I did

"Now open that pretty little mouth of yours."

I did

He started to jam his flacid cock into my mouth, I felt it growing inside my mouth. My saliva was everywhere, on his jeans, on my chest, the floor. He was pumping my face good until he stopped.

"Go get a cup," he demanded while stroking his 6 in cock.

I went quickly.

"Good, now suck those balls while I drain them"

I sucked them for a minute until he started cumming in the cup. He must have filled half the cup with my reward.

"Drink it, bitch." he stated.

I hesitated, which only lent me a slap in the face. I took it and drank it like a shot, not sparing a drop. As I was getting cleaned up, he stuck his middle finger in my ass and said.

"Next time"

i just cooked up a .25 of meth and am just about to shoot it....i will continue this board post right after i get geeked out and horny for cock so much that i will post ads on three different gay hook up sites and invite every single guy on each of them to come over and let me suck their cocks and eat their delicious cum....oh my fuck! i love all cocks and am going to get as many as i can right now. meth is the most amazing drug and i love love love how i go from liking cocks to finding them to be godlike and worshipped until i get the sweetest reward imaginable....fresh cum from the source.
i want cock, i need cock, i will find cock and i will love cock....the more cocks i suck, the more cocks i want, the more cum i eat the more cum i want. i love my life.

WTF MOTHERLESS?

Motherless used to have decent character encoding on its jobs page, but now apostrophes are all turning into: �

HAVE YOU SOLD OUT AGAIN TO THE MAN DEWEZ? THIS USED TO BE A COOL SITE, BUT NOW IT'S TOTALLY GAY. SUCK DICK, FAGGOTS

So last night a friend of mine from work stayed at my place because we had a few too many after work yesterday and we're both off today.
My girlfriend left for work so I got up to have a shower and when I come out of the bathroom my friend is naked over the arm of the sofa with his ass spread and just said fuck it to me!!! It took me a minute cause I didn't know he was gay and I was still a little hung over. But when the shock wore off I knelt down behind him and tongue fucked his ass hard for about ten minutes got it all wet and slippy! !! He was thumbing the head of his cock when I slipped my hard on into his tight hole and pounded it like I would never get laid again. When I came I shot my load up his back .
We rested for a minute then he brought me back into the shower so to return the favor of getting to fuck his ass I said I'd blow him, he stroked his hard on while I sucked on the head then he blew his hot sticky load all over my face, I got hard as fuck from him shooting on my face so he stood behind me with his cock rubbing between the cheeks of my ass and gave me a reach around! !!
And that's how we spent the rest of the day sucking and fucking each other. Got to love hump day!!!!!

I confess that my first sexual encounter was with another dude. We were 12 or 13 i think. It was at a beach vacation and it started all weird. We slept in the same bed which is normal at that age. We were horsing around and I ended up touching his dick which had fallen out of his boxers. I remember it being soft. We both got all quite and he said "Do you want to" and i quickly replied in a jokingly manner "Yea if you suck my dick first" and he said ok.
He sucked on my dick for a few min, which was very nice as it was my first blow job ever. I then sucked on his dick as I assumed it was the only right thing to do. It was salty. After that he let me fuck him in his ass for a little while which actually wasn't that great as we had no idea what we were doing. He then asked to fuck me, which i said was ok because once again i assumed it was only fair. He never penetrated me though as I lied and said it was in when it wasnt. the whole thing was over pretty quickly and i remember feeling weird after.
We went on to fuck a lot more for a couple of years until we just stopped one day. I think in the end he only ever penetrated me once or twice as i usually lied and said it was in when it wasn't.
I never felt gay for doing it either, i never questioned if it was right or wrong. I have never done anything else with a guy since then either and have had nothing but girls since. We never kissed or held each other, it was always just blowjobs and fucking.
I have a few more times i remember, but not a lot, none of them were that memorable I guess. I just wanted to see if anyone else ever did this as a kid and if it ever lead to anything else or if it was just "boys being boys"