I’m a 29 married mom and I’ve been fucking my boss. He’s 42 married and has kids. 

One night we went out with a few people from work. We have flirted a bit over time but this night was heavy on the flirting. It was a late night and as soon as the last person left his house, my boss turned to me and grabbed my ass. Grabbed me by the back of the neck and kissed me. Eventually we went to the living room and he made me suck his big cock. And it was definitely big. He wanted to go down on me and ate me till I came twice. Then he bent me over and started fucking me doggy. Hard. 

we did it all over the house. When he was ready he creampied me. About 15 mins later I figured I would go but he wanted more. He started fucking me again and eventually gave me a big facial. 
I went home at like 4 am with cream in me and on me. It was so hot. 

I thought that would be it. But we ended up sending sexy texts and pics back and forth. One day at work told me to wear a dress the next day so I did. I came in and shit the door. He flipped up my dress and started eating me. Eventually he bent me over his desk and creampied me again. I went back to work with it dripping down my leg. 

we did it one more time. He had a party and his wife passed out. After everyone left I stayed and sucked his dick in his kitchen. Then he wanted to put it in my ass and I let him. He came on my face again. Then told me he’d put it in his wife later that night. He sent me the proof. 

I can’t wait to fuck him again. 

To The Cunt Across the street and her shitty kids.

I don't believe in hitting women, but god damn it Paula one of these days Im gonna bounce your fucking head of a car wind shield. Sorry you got knocked up by every Nigger west of the Fucking African Continent, sorry that your husband finally saw the light and left you for learning none of your shitty kids are his, both of you being white and with monkeys for children should have been his first fucking sign you spread your legs for any Gold Tooth Monkey with a criminal background, and it pains me to no fucking end Unemployment cut you off after learning you were selling acid on the down low and your current Nigger boyfriend is doing time for a kid sex beef.
But the next fucking time you slam your rusty piece of shit car into my mail box, I am gonna kick you in the fucking tax rebate box you call your pussy! And for fuck sake, clean up your god damn yard, tell your shitty kids to stop setting fires on this block. And dont give me that, 'aint my kids' THERE ARE NO OTHER FUCKING HALF BREED KIDS ON THIS BLOCK! THEY DON'T EVEN MAKE THE EFFORT TO RUN AWAY, I KNOW, I CAUGHT LITTLE ASPIRIN OR TYLENOL OR WHAT EVER THAT LITTLE SHITS NAME IS SETTING FIRE TO A TIRE AND ROLLING IT DOWN A HILL.

I HOPE TO CHRIST, SOCIAL SERVICES TAKES THEM AWAY FROM YOU. FUCK IT, EXPECT THEM IN THE MORNING, ONE LOOK AT YOUR SHITTY HOUSE AND 9 MONKEYS, I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL FINALLY SEE MY TAX DOLLARS AT WORK!

now i feel better

Chapter 9
The guards have come to the realization that you enjoy most of the abuse they've been heaping on you. That led them to start searching out more and more depraved ways to torture and use you, in hope of finding your breaking point.
One of them stumbled across the work of Dolcett on the internet and wondered if they could do it to you.
As much as the idea of impaling you on a spit and roasting you alive sounded like fun they decided they have to keep you alive. Too much paperwork if you die. And besides they're having far too much fun torturing you to have it end so soon.
Instead, they decide that they are going to impale you in the spit and roast you but only for half an hour.
There's a company picnic coming up for the 4th of July so it's the perfect time to barbecue you.
The picnic is being held in a clearing in the woods. It's warm and sunny and all the guards are relaxed, drinking, and happy. It would be a wholesome scene except for the naked sissy slut bound to the trees at the edge of the clearing. Standing, spread eagled, wrists and ankles tied to two trees.
The fire pit has been lit. They're just waiting for the fire to burn down and the coals to get hot.
While you're waiting to be "cooked" the warm summer breezes caress your naked, slutty, thicc body. Your nipples have grown hard, and your pathetic little cock is starting to stir too.
As the fire starts to die down your untied and led to the picnic table and told to climb up onto it. On your hands and knees, ass in the air, they start to prepare you for roasting.
Your hair is soaked and tied up. Herbs and onions are shoved into your boipussy. For flavour. An apple is pushed into your mouth. Not so much for flavour but only to make you look a like a roasting piglet.
They make you lay flat on the table and a large, round, stake is laid the length of your body. Ropes soon secure you to it. A wooden Frame is laid across your shoulders and you're soon bound to it as well. Lastly, a thick, long wooden stake is pushed deep into your gaping cunt and attached to the spit.
The entire time they're preparing you the guards talk about you in the 3rd person. They refer to you as "her" sometimes, but usually, "it".
Two burly guards grab each end of the spit and hoist you off the table. It's uncomfortable, but not quite painful. More than anything it's humiliating. You're a piece of meat, yet again, for their amusement. This time quite literally.
The heat hits you immediately when they put the spit in its rack. A small motor is going to rotate you over the fire, just like a fucking animal to be consumed.
It doesn't take long for the heat to start making you dizzy and light headed. It's also turning you on.
The heat licking at your useless cock with each rotation. The guards laughing at you and enjoying the spectacle.
After a few minutes they break out the barbecue sauce and start pouring it all over your limp body. Covering you, head to toe in sticky sweet sauce. A bottle gets shoved up your ass and the sauce pours in to mix with the other ingredients already inside you.
You've lost track of time. You're hoping you don't have to endure too much more. You can feel your cock and balls starting to singe. Your tits are glowing hot. The pain is becoming almost too much to take. Your screams and pleading are muffled by the apple in your mouth. Not that any of them would take pity and offer you relief.
The last thing you remember hearing, before you passed out, is one of them saying "Three more minutes and then we'll take the meat off the fire."
You're awakened by a bucket of cold water being thrown on you. Every inch of your body feels like it's been sunburnt. To make matters worse you're covered in sticky sweet barbecue sauce.
The guards want to get you cleaned up a little before the next stage of the festivities bit there's no hose to spray you down with. Then a brilliant idea emerges.
You're tossed on the ground, still tied to the spit, and the four dogs that have been hanging around are called over. They quickly begin licking the sticky sweet sauce off of you. Their rough tongues dragging across your burnt body is agonizing. Because you're a sick fuck, you like it. You start to moan and wiggle around to give the dogs access to more of you. Especially your pathetic little cock.
A couple of the guards notice what you're doing and start to laugh. They point out to everyone that you're fucking enjoying it. Everyone agrees that you're the most depraved, filthy, amoral, piece of fuck meat they've ever seen. They're excited about it. It means they can do anything to you. No matter how depraved, degrading, disgusting, violent, or taboo.
While they are chatting about what to do next, one of the dogs lifts his leg and starts pissing on you. The hot stream feels scalding on your burnt skin. It splashes across your stomach and chest. Some of it gets up around your neck and you open your mouth, hoping to be able to drink some of it to relieve your incredible thirst.
Everyone has gone silent, watching in amazement. When the second dog starts pissing on your chest you wiggle around to take it in the face. The hot dog piss in your mouth giving you relief from the thirst and a fantastic thrill at being able to be so fucking filthy. It's at that moment that the last 2 dogs start pissing all over your hard, but pathetic, cock. Your moans of pleasure leave the guards, and their wives, laughing and cheering.
Because it's the 4th of July the guards have brought along a bunch of flags, firecrackers and decorations to celebrate the day.
The dogs have licked you clean and lost interest in pissing on you so everyone is looking for a new amusement.
It's time to do some decorating.
You're untied from the spit and another bucket of ice cold water is thrown on your limp body. As you lay there, dazed, aroused, humiliated, you wonder what fucked up thing they could possibly have in mind.
A kick to the ribs gets you on your back. A couple more kicks and you're spread eagle in the grass.
One of the wives has brought a bunch of small flags. The paper ones with a wooden stick. She wants to shove them in your piss hole. The only problem is you've gone limp. It would be much easier if your clit was hard. It only takes her a moment to figure out how to get you hard again. She drops her panties, lifts her dress, squats over your face and starts to piss. It works like a charm. You can't help yourself. You open your slut mouth and drink it all down as quickly as you can. The shame and humiliation does what it was intended to do. Your useless cock is nice and hard again.
With her cunt still firmly pressed to your face she begins sliding the stick of the flag down into your cock. You're so embarrassed and ashamed at how much you're loving this treatment.
She manages to push two more flags into your pisshole. As she hops off your face she tells you to get the fuck up. You're exhausted and hesitant. A quick kick in the head and a slap across the face gets your moving. Your struggle to your feet.
She instructs you to show everyone how patriotic you are and to start waving the flags. Your efforts aren't even close to what she wants and she kicks you in the ass, over and over, making you stumble around, and making your faggot clit wiggle. The laughter from the crowd is so fucking humiliating and you wonder what the fuck is wrong with you that you love it.
That's when someone suggests that they should tun you into a proper flag pole.
Chapter 10

Having grown tired of watching your futile attempts to wave the little flags jammed in your pisshole the wives have decided to turn you into a “proper” flag pole.

A shovel is tossed at your feet and you’re ordered to start digging. They want a hole two feet deep and 3 feet wide. And you had better hurry the fuck up. Your efforts are decent to being but because of all the abuse you’ve endured so far today you start to tire and slow down. A crack of the whip then the sting as it bites into your ass. You dig faster. Another crack and another stripe across your sissy ass. You don’t speed up digging but your clit starts to involuntarily grow. This prompts laughter and ridicule from the guards, and particularly, the women. They can’t believe just how much of a pathetic, pain and abuse craving, sissy slut you really are.

Before too long the hole is complete. She shoves you to your knees at the edge of the hole, facing it. Turning to one of the other wives she says, “Jenn, bring the big flag and pole over here. We’re going to do this up right. Real patriotic.” She shoves you forward, so that you fall into the hole. Because of the size of the hole only your upper body fits. Your ass is in the air, sticking straight up. Completely gaping and exposed.

As she hands over the flagpole Jenn says, “I don’t think it’s going to fit. It’s way to big.” It’s not going to matter if it’s too big or not. One way or another it’s going in your cunt. Lubed, dry. No one cares.

The fat, wooden, flag pole is pushed up against the entrance to your cunt and pressure is slowly applied. It’s starting to work its way in. You do your best to relax and push out, to get the pole in your cunt without too much pain and tearing. It helps, but there is still so much of the huge pole to go.

She starts to lose patience with the progress and starts shoving harder and harder. Your cries for her to please stop are, obviously, ignored and you’re told to shut the fuck up and take it. You’re reminded that you’re only there to entertain them. Your pain doesn’t matter. Besides, she says, your hard clit says you’re enjoying it. She makes you admit you like it. You have to yell, loudly, for everyone to hear, that you like having the flag pole shoved up your ass.

Jenn starts to help. Between the two of them they’re able to force the pole deep into your cunt. Judging by how full you feel, you think there’s about two feet of hard wood up inside you. You’re ashamed of yourself for being proud of how much you can take.

Once it’s firmly in place a flag is attached to pole. It gently unfurls in the breeze. The wind playing with the cloth makes the pole move around in your cunt, pushing it from side to side. It feels like the wind is fucking you.

Your told that you cannot let the flag fall. It’s disrespectful. If it falls you’ll be beaten unconscious.
The group goes back to drinking, snacking and playing games, leaving you there. An object to amuse them.
After about half an hour you notice the dogs are sniffing around you, curious as to why you’re there. Realizing you’re not moving much they conclude you’re not a person and start pissing on you, like they would any tree, bush or shrub. At first they piss on your ass, because the flag pole is a natural place for them to piss. Eventually though they piss on your shoulders, back and face. Because you’re in the hole it’s really convenient for them to piss all over you.
Everyone sees it happening but there’s no way they’re going to stop it. It’s way too funny. Hell, not only are they not going to stop it, they’re going to join in. For the next hour you endure an almost non-stop rain of piss. All over your back and ass, all over the back of your head. In your face. So much in your face. Each time someone pisses in your face you open your mouth and drink in as much as you’re able. You try to be subtle about it so they don’t see you drinking it but eventually you’re caught. It’s decided that if you’re going to do that you might was well be a urinal for them for the rest of the evening. From that point on all of the piss, and theres so much because of all the beer drinking, is aimed at your mouth.
The sun is starting to fade from the sky. The coming darkness signals the next stage of the days festivities. The fireworks display is going to be amazing this year!

I knew about my son`s cuckold relationship thanks to acquaintances. We all belong to the BDSM community. I was having none of it. Although I had always been very dominant with him, I expected he would behave like a man with his wife, not to let her step over him like he did. That´s why I always spanked my daughter in law, to get her to know her place.The worst part was the identity of the “bull”: a SWITCH (ie, someone who can be both a dominant AND a submissive, depending on the circunstances, therefore, NOT A REAL DOMINANT) whom I have dominated several times at BDSM meetups, without sex. Imagine my frustration when I realized this poor excuse for a man, whom I have had literally kissing my feet, was topping both my son and daughter in law, pretending to be an “alpha male”. So I tried to talk him out of the picture in the next meetup. First, I tried to reason with him, to no avail. Then I used my daughter in law as a whipping girl, but this just turned him on even more. So I appealed to his submissive side just by ordering him to end that relationship, to which he said this wasn´t my business. I threatened to reveal to both of them who he really was. He didn´t respond, so I backed him against a wall, slapped him across the face and had him opening his mouth so I could spit inside. After he swallowed, I touched his boner and commented how aroused he was getting with my mistreatment, as a reminder of his true role. He looked at me a bit scared but didn´t cave in. My frustration grew even stronger when my son told me he was planning to get my daughter in law pregnant from their “bull”. I knew they wouldn´t believe me he was a switch, so I arranged a meetup with the four of us, so they could see it by their own eyes. Upon arrival, I told him I was going to spank him and ordered him to strip naked. After a moment of hesitation and looking to the three of us, he obliged. They couldn´t believe their eyes. Then I did the same to my DIL. Then I took the two of them, broken and naked, to my bedroom and told my son to wait outside. Once inside, I sat on the bed and told my DIL to sit in a chair, kiss my feet and take off my heels. While she did, I fondled her body (I´ve always had a bi streak) and taunted her about how I had “her bull” wrapped around my finger now. Then I took off my dress and underwear and told her to lie on the bed. She looked at my naked body with a mix of jealousy and fear and shook her head. She knew what was coming. For a moment I thaught about ordering the “bull” to restrain her for me, but I didn´t want any more physical contact between those two, so, instead, I said to him “Don´t intervene, and don´t masturbate, just sit there and enjoy, this is between she and me, did you get it?”. My DIL couldn´t believe when he just answered with a very submissive “Yes, Ma ´am”.Despite being younger, she is a petite woman, so it was easy for me to push her to the bed and climb over her. She tried to resist and, to her credit, gave quite a good fight, but she was no match for me. I managed to pin her wrists against the headboard, plant a kiss on her and trib her to orgasm. Then I threw her, had her lying flat on her back and sat on her face. I ordered her to lick me to orgasm, which she did. Meanwhile, I taunted her about how much she enjoyed the tribbing and how much “her bull” was enjoying the show. When I came, I told her to sat on the chair and watch how submissive was “her bull” on bed. I had him handcuffed to the bed and told him he couldn´t cum without my permission, to which he only responded “Yes, Ma ´am”. I straddled, scratched, slapped, spat, smother and had him begging to be allowed an orgasm. He obliged like the good submissive he actually is. When he cum, I had my DIL clean up the creampie from my cunt, something she did with my son as part of their cuckolding practices. When she was done, I told her to spit the cum on “her bull”`s face. She did it without hesitation and with a lot of rage. I was having the time of my life, so I told her to feel free to take out her frustration with him, just like I did. She straddled him and spent a good while slapping his face, body and balls and calling him a wimp and a fraud. As you can imagine, I encouraged her to continue. Not only she ended that fake relationship, I ended up turning him into the cuckold he actually is in the following months, having him watching me with other men while he only watched, and performing degrading acts just like he did to my son. And then I dumped him, too. These days, either he performs as a submissive or switches with other fake dominants like him. No one has taken him seriously as a dominant since that day. 

I confess this is my first post, but i thought id share with you about a few years ago i was with a girl who was 19 years old, 5ft 5, and weighed about 100lbs. She was in love with me, but i just didnt want to be tied down at the time so she wanted to be my fuck toy, she would do absolutely anything i wanted without giving it a second thought. She wanted to do everything id ever mention, even the random things that no one planned were either great or just a huge turn on. One thing i still think about is she lived with her family in a single wide trailer, she had 2 younger brothers one about 17 and the other 15, one night with her brothers dad and mom home we were watching tv in the livingroom when her parents went to thier bedroom, and as soon as they did we went into the hallway bathroom where she started to suck my dick. It wasnt long before we were naked and i was fucking her over the sink, out of nowhere her brothers kept trying to come in on us and she was yelling at them to get out, they could have came in and joined for all i care. I ended up cumming on her face and making her walk in the livingroom before she was allowed to wipe it off and swallow it. I dont think her brothers even noticed because it was so dark.
There was another time i will never forget when i was working and she was home alone, her dad cut grass for a living and he had hired a guy she went to school with who really liked her, he was late one day and her dad just told him to go to thier house and he would come get him after the first job. Well she was texting me about it and he showed up, so she had him come in and watch tv with her until her dad got there, well while they were watching tv she layed on the couch on the other side of the room from him and text me. She ended up falling asleep, he got really brave and being as stupid as he was didnt care, so when she fell asleep he pulled his dick out and started jacking off. He actually went and stood over her and came all over her face hahaha, she jumped up and started punching him then she ran to the bathroom and text me about it while cleaning the cum off of her face. Being the pervert i am it made me hard just hearing about it. I told her to take a pic and send it to me, but it was to late she had already cleaned herself off. The only thing i didnt like about that whole day is i wasnt there to see it and do it myself.

I confess I fucked my friend when she was passed out awhile back. I don't have many secrets in life, but this is one of the biggest.

We used to hang out a lot, meet up and have drinks. She was a complete cocktease at times....flirting incessantly, but always retreating if I made a move. In the process she would always get pretty drunk, and then start getting sloppy and just acting like a fool.

One day we went out and of course she got really drunk, started to tease me, but then ended up going around talking to other guys at the bar. I got tired of always having to put up with her behavior so I decided that I was going to leave. I walked out of the bar and towards my car, but remembered that I forgot something, so walked back. As I was walking back she was walking out, and she came up to me stumbling and mumbling some nonsense.

She had always been hot/cold with how we interacted with each other, and I wanted to fuck her so badly. I walked with her to my car, and told her to get in the backseat. Once she was in I drove to an empty parking lot, and decided that I was going to fuck her.

I slipped off her pants and panties and started going down on her as she was passed out. I grabbed here tits and sucked on them, and then knowing I probably didn't have a lot of time I stroked my cock hard and started fucking her.

Once I finished I drove back to where we were, and told her to wake up. She groggily got up and walked out.

To this day there's a part of me that wonders if she knew what was happening at the time.

I couple of years ago I was manager for a large restaurant chain. I was 30 years old and transferred to a new state. The location I ended up in had a very cute young hostess. She was about 5’5 or less and had a tight little body. The uniforms included khaki shorts and she wore very short and tight ones. I of course flirted with her all the time and eventually found out she’d just turned 18. After being there for a few months my car broke down so I was relying on friends and employees for rides to and from work. One night this girl gave me a ride home to my apartment and I invited her in for a beer. We hung out and had a lot of laughs before she went home. We immediately started hanging out every day or night and soon started fucking. She was the best sex of my life! She was open to new stuff and we fucked everywhere including in the restaurant after closing, on the balcony of my apartment at night, in front of windows at night, on the grass in front of my apartment at night and in her car during the day and night. I always made sure we were completely naked when we fucked where someone could see us and eventually someone did. I wanted the whole world to see me fucking this hottie. I’d like to think we were seen by some dude jerking off to us while seeing her hot naked body. I repeatedly talked about having a 3way with another guy but she was hesitant. I really wanted to see another cock pleasing her hot little body. A few months later she moved out of state to go to college and I was heartbroken. She’d been gone about 4 months, we hadn’t spoken, then she called me out of the blue. We talked for a few minutes then she blurted out that she’d slept with 2 guys at the same time. I was stunned at first then really turned on and I told her I didn’t believe her. She swore it was true so I pressed for details and she gave me some. My hand immediately went to my cock. I’ve jerked off to those details every day since that conversation. I’m still not sure why she called to tell me that but I’m super glad she did.

When I was 12 I began to masturbate thinking about my mother, it became a sickness soon enough. I used to steal her used underwear to collect her pubic hairs and smelled her bras and then cumed on them. Soon enough I decided started to spy her which lead to my final encounter with her. Her bathroom had plenty of space on a counter that holds a mirror on top so one day I opened the counter and hid before she took her daily bath. I slowly opened the counter once she had turned the water on (which had a slide door) but did not move. The room was so filled with steam that she didn't even notice my presence. Once she started fixing her hair against the mirror and above me i began to lick her pussy. She just looked at me, took me out of the counter, kissed me and gave me the first hand job and blow job experience of my life. I ended up cumming on her chest. We then had a bath together.

I met a girl a few years ago that i can’t take out of my head.We were in our early 20’s and we met at a bar .
She asked me if I wanted to go at her place for a last drink.
After the night cap she invited me to sleep at her house (in reality at her parent house that were gone at their cottage for the weekend) and told me I could sleep in her bed only if she was in it at the same time.
She was not the most beautiful girl , she was the curvy type and I like more the slim type but I decided to accept the invitation for the night.
We had sex for most of the night and I got back home early in the morning.
She reached me later that day to offer me to go hiking at a nearby trail in the afternoon and went for dinner at the end of the day. She was pleasant to talk and somehow I had a
pleasant weekend.
The next weekend I go back to the same bar as the previous weekend and she came to chat with me.Shortly after she invited me to go to her place to talk in a less noisy environment. When we got home we sat on the couch and she kissed me right away and I think when she saw that I was starting to have a hard on she took my penis out to her mouth for a few seconds and stopped to take off all my clothes and took her clothes off and just sat on my penis that just slipped easily down deep inside her while saying I have been waiting all week to have you in me again.
Her pussy was dripping wet and she was passionately going up and down over my penis within minutes I felt her coming hard and she got off my penis without me having an orgasm but she kept me hard alternating slowly and gently with her hand and her mouth on my penis( felt more like a tease ) for a minute or two and she jumped over me again and rode me to a big orgasm. Wow
On my way to the bathroom she tells me to join her in the bed after. While I am washing my friend a bit I hear a buzzing sound nearby through the closed door
Coming into her room , she had an old electric shaver in between her leg using the vibration of this noisy shaver on her clit and I shortly heard the big moan of her orgasm. Within 15-20 minutes it was her 3rd orgasms. With her it was never enough which was very pleasant as she was very generous with me.
After when we got more intimate , I would give her a clit orgasm and than an orgasm by penetration and right after she would masturbate her clit again while I was relaxing for another round.
Eventually we went out together for about 2-3 years.
At her parents place , the house was 1 floor plus the basement , most of the time during the evening we would go down in the basement to watch TV ( sometime her younger sister would join us but not always) while her parents would stay on the 1rst floor living room. At the beginning when her sister did not come down , she would put a blanket over her and ask me to masturbate her under the blanket while her parents were upstairs , I would just gently massage her clit until she quietly had her orgasms. One night her younger sister came downstairs quick , we were surprised as we did not hear her coming and my fingers were already massaging her clit. She gave me a look that met to not stop as she was close from orgasm. I think that her sister had figured out something as she almost came down every night downstairs to watch tv when we were there. Since my girlfriend was very unsatisfied to not get her usual evening orgasms , she eventually explained to her younger sister ( she was maybe 2 years younger ) that she was getting masturbated by me during the evening , that she could come downstairs every time she wanted with us as long as she did not tell the parents.
She could stay there as long as it remained a secret and that she remained quiet.
So I tried to be as discreet as I could masturbating my girlfriend under the blanket while her sister was sitting a few feet from us supposedly watching tv.
When leaving their house often late at night I would use the basement door. One night shortly after I left their house , I noticed that I forgot my wallet on the coffee table downstairs so I drove back to her house going back through the basement door that was not locked to discover my girlfriend sister legs open masturbating.
After talking to my girlfriend about it she let me known that her sister was getting horny watching us on the couch. My girlfriend told her that she would let her sister masturbate quietly under a blanket in the basement if she got too horny watching us.I think that she felt bad for her
I told her that I did not think that she would do it as she would be intimated to do it in my presence but I was wrong about 2 weeks later she came down with her blanket and masturbated for the first time. I guess it runs in the family as after that evening her sister masturbated profusely when she came downstairs and I think that knowing the sisters were masturbating beside each other they got even hornier . Eventually I tried to see if we could try a 3 some but my girlfriend objected strongly.
Only once she took my penis out to show it to her sister that had been bugging her to see it only once.
Shortly after seeing it we saw movements under her blanket and an orgasm face that she tried to hide.

These two sisters were just always horny.

These was never a dull moment with this ex.

I do not know if writing about this experience of my life will help me forget her or it will only make it more present in my mind.

Beyond the Horizon

Part 1

One of the lessons you learn after years of driving is that at some point or another, you’re going to experience the pain of repetition and predictability. Even when I first started off on the journey, I never had a destination in mind. It’s like as soon as I sat down and closed the door, it was getting hazy. It’s apparent to me now that from the moment I turned that old key and fired her up I was totally unsure of to exactly where I thought I was going. Driving is one of my greatest pleasures. There’s a sincere innocence in the act of driving. I lost sight of much of that, and from time to time I wasn’t sure if I was even in control. From a certain perspective the relationship between the machine and it’s controller breaks down, and it can become objectively difficult to distinguish which is driven by which.

To be fair, the warning signs were all over the place. It felt like I couldn’t go more than ten seconds without some sign, a precaution, a rule, a rule of thumb, a word of advice whispered in confidence. I always did my best to be a responsible driver. For the longest time I did my best to obey all the rules of the road, back before I knew better, or perhaps until I thought I knew better. Experience is the greatest teacher, not to mention the harshest. It’s common knowledge that to learn from experience makes even the worst decisions worthwhile. Sometimes it’s simply the only thing that one can take away from the curveballs so often thrown one’s way. The problem for the unwise lies in working out what lesson the accused is to take away from his crime. For the introspective the problem is rarely not seeing the problem at hand. They can even take precautions to make sure that one accident is never repeated, by not repeating whatever lead to disaster the first time around. For the experienced, and by that I mean the scarred, the disfigured, those drivers who possibly still hurt every waking day of their lives, there are an entirely different set of problems, regardless of their ability to learn from past experiences. The problem faced by the salty, by the ones who well and truly drove around that block more than they care to admit, is the inability to disengage from what they think they know best, and in doing so they find themselves sat exactly where they were before they even released the handbrake. One cannot escape his past, cannot escape the stupid things they did. But to make matters worse, they begin to see that so many of the reflective, glaring, fluorescent signs they are bombarded with as they hit the highway begin to contradict each other. They blur, they all look the same, sound the same. It seems impossible to follow one highway code without breaking another. At first, one particularly thoughtful individual might find, there seemed to be one over-arching Way. The irrefutable Tao of the road. The one true way. I miss that idea. I’ve reached a point where no matter how hard I try and see things as I used to, either I changed, or the rules did.

And so those rare unfortunates may find the signs begin to undermine each other. Slow down, but speed up. Be cautious, but never so more than you’re being brazen. Make sure to flaunt every last thing you have and haven’t ever done, because nobody likes It when you brag. And so experience fails you. It begins to lie to you, and even when you’re aware that there is clearly deception afoot, you become a man looking at a map with no reference as to where in the fuck they actually are. It’s at this point in my career as a driver that I also realised that for all the years I had been driving, I could not remember where I was going. I knew that I had been driving for a very long time, and I think at certain points I had stopped off at places, and I still remember the people I picked up. Some of them drove with me for the longest time. I always liked having passengers, but sooner or later, the destination is reached, and the journey has come to an end. But I digress. At a certain point, I found myself lost. It was the worst kind of lost, in that not only did I not know at all where and when I was, but in that I had totally forgotten where I had originally intended to go. I could not even remember at what point I had forgotten everything about myself. All I knew was in looking in the mirror, I was sure I didn’t recognise myself. I could not even describe the person who stared back at me. The Driver was a man about which you could say so much, but I’m quite certain that none of the obvious things you could gleam from that countenance were objectively correct. Nothing I’ve ever experienced has been quite so simple as that. First impressions are hard to resist, however. In a way it didn’t matter that I’m sure in some ways I recognised the Driver’s face, because from the moment I met his eyes with mine, I knew he’d always be a simple mystery to me, destined to be my enemy, the one who knew me the best.

He had the look of the man who has learned from experience as he lit that cigarette. The glow from the lighter revealed a face older and more weathered than I’m sure my own face was. He looked bad. I was certain he didn’t have the slightest good intention in mind for me, and yet everything in his eyes and in the tone of his voice struck me as sincere and well meaning. He spoke to me as if he knew me. We’re on the road now aren’t we? I’ve always loved these warm nights, the heady smell in the air. He grinned, and his eyes lit up. I suddenly felt thirsty. Thirstier than I’ve ever felt in my life. There was adrenaline coursing through my body now, and most of my worry had suddenly receded. As he rolled down the window, an old and child-like excitement crossed his face, as a child who is told on Christmas day that the best present has been saved to last. What does it even matter where we’re going? The pleasure’s in the driving. It’s also in the uncertainty. We passed a strange scene by the side of that long road. This struck me because until now it had all been so blank. There was a cow being led down the road by two men, one in front, and one following up from behind. We passed so quickly that the image struck me as an old black and white picture would have, fixed in my mind without the suggestion of fading. It was like some grim scene from a foreign abattoir, and I felt my spirit drop, knowing where the cow’s destination lay despite all his ignorance. He looked complacent if not slightly confused as to his predicament, being lead by his handlers as he was. For some unknown reason, I honestly felt very sad for him. Then I laughed. Fucker should have evolved faster. I couldn’t but help show the slightest disapproval, even if deep down something in me knew it was true. It would be pretty much the same if the boot was on the other foot. Or hoof. You get my drift. I laughed again, and I wasn’t sure if it was humour or desperation I heard in that laugh. It sounded strange to me, but laughs always sound strange when you really listen to them. Everyone knows what a laugh means, but that shit can’t be found in any dictionary I ever heard of.

I confess that my first sexual encounter was with another dude. We were 12 or 13 i think. It was at a beach vacation and it started all weird. We slept in the same bed which is normal at that age. We were horsing around and I ended up touching his dick which had fallen out of his boxers. I remember it being soft. We both got all quite and he said "Do you want to" and i quickly replied in a jokingly manner "Yea if you suck my dick first" and he said ok.
He sucked on my dick for a few min, which was very nice as it was my first blow job ever. I then sucked on his dick as I assumed it was the only right thing to do. It was salty. After that he let me fuck him in his ass for a little while which actually wasn't that great as we had no idea what we were doing. He then asked to fuck me, which i said was ok because once again i assumed it was only fair. He never penetrated me though as I lied and said it was in when it wasnt. the whole thing was over pretty quickly and i remember feeling weird after.
We went on to fuck a lot more for a couple of years until we just stopped one day. I think in the end he only ever penetrated me once or twice as i usually lied and said it was in when it wasn't.
I never felt gay for doing it either, i never questioned if it was right or wrong. I have never done anything else with a guy since then either and have had nothing but girls since. We never kissed or held each other, it was always just blowjobs and fucking.
I have a few more times i remember, but not a lot, none of them were that memorable I guess. I just wanted to see if anyone else ever did this as a kid and if it ever lead to anything else or if it was just "boys being boys"