In high school, I had occassion to muff dive a girl I liked in a storage area near the gym. I had a key as I could get out of gym and do chores instead because I had asthma. She gave me Bjs in return.

She wouldn't let me fuck her, as she liked her BF at the time and esp. his car.

He found out (someone saw and wrote it in a bathroom stall with the time and place) and confronted me.

I told him the truth, he took one punch (hit me in the jaw) as the vice principle came around the corner.

He got suspended for a week and lost the car for month.

She started seeing someone else, and when I graduated, the yearbook people put the nickname "Captain Quiff" in as a joke about this affair.

She still lives in my hometown, and cross paths on ocassion but we only smile knowingly and nod as was pass

Let's not forget about Captain Marvel nudes

What do you think of this ups 747 captain Kelly? Would you tie her up? If so how and what would you do to her?

On the left motorboat captain here

Last night my wife and I got into a fight. I slapped her in the mouth and she started to cry. I told her if she didn't like my laws then to get the fuck out of my house (prenup). We fought some more and I ended up grabbing her by the hair and throwing her into the trash can. She puts up with it because she knows she'll never get a dime from me in a divorce, she has no money, no job, etc. As much as we fight, I love being married to her because I am the king. It makes me laugh watching all you faggots talk about being a Captain Save-A-Ho and how you'd slug me for being a woman beater because I'd beat your ass the same way that I beat hers. I'd even make you cry like a bitch.

Tonight at about 11 I drove down to Safe Way to get some soda to mix with Captain. I pull in and park and there is a this Asian lady putting grocery's in her car. I wanted to say hi to her but some guy started asking me about my car so I just walked into the store. When I came out she was still in her car on her phone. I got in my car and pulled up next to hers and rolled down my window. I waved at her to get her attention and she rolled down her window. I told her she was beautiful and made some small talk. I ended up getting her number and have been talking to her. She is from Korea here going to school so her English is not great. Hopefully I will be able to get with her this week. I have never been with a Asian lady so I am excited to see where this can go. Also the first time I approached a complete stranger to try and get a date.

My name is Mr. Gas. You've probably met me. I'm in Sales/Marketing for a large company. I'd admit that over the years I've become quite bored with my life. One night, I ate something horrific. I got into the elevator and I couldn't even make it back to the hotel room in time and let a HUGE fart rip because whatever I ate certainly didn't agree with my stomach. I looked up and PRAYED that the elevator would go all the way to the 10th floor but, no dice... it stopped on 7 and an elderly couple got on with me. I watched in the reflection of the doors and could tell they were almost gagging. I felt so bad.

Since that situation I've been changing my diet to include foods that will without a doubt give me the worst gas possible.

Here are the places I've let it go and ended up causing a massive panic (in some cases):

1. Shopping Center
2. Mall
3. JC Penney's (they had to clear out an entire department)
4. My car...accidentally, I had to hold my breath because my windows don't roll down and I was stuck in rush hour traffic. I looked over at a couple next to me and turned blue and they couldn't figure out what was wrong but it was SO bad in my car that I almost had to jump out even if we were doing 5mph.
5. Wendy's, people evacuated the building, including employees
6. Carpool, we pulled over and got out for several minutes. I blamed the driver's dog but I think they knew it was me.
7. Starbucks
8. Chipotle, I had loaded up on beans!
9. Office Buildings are PERFECT
10. I once had a "medical emergency" after I took the hugest shit I've ever taken in my life in an office building's public restroom. Shit was all over the place and I couldn't STOP. I must have been quite constipated because it just kept coming, I felt SO ashamed.

...and lastly, an airplane which is my favorite because NO ONE can go ANYWHERE! Last flight, even the Captain apologized to the entire crew and passengers due to the smell which they attributed to an electrical or issue with the plane, we were diverted to another airport and passengers were interviewed by the TSA and FBI.

I just can't stop, I can't help it, I don't want to help it.

I must be going, need to buy new underwear.

Toodles!

Captain Mermaid, what would you like to do to her?

I confess that I am freaking the fuck out right now...Idk what 2 do. Okay, me and my sister have always had this weird sexual tension. She's always been my best friend, even football and CoD. She's a tomboy. Well, our parents are divorced and usually, me and my sister stay with our mom primarily, but all three of us went to my dads house the day before Christmas eve, so we could all spend our Christmas and open our presents ON Christmas eve. Because our parents drove to Texas to see my older brother at collage for Christmas. Well they said they we're going to be gone for a few days, so right after they left we startin partying. Hooked the xbox up to the big-screen in the living room, raided the booze cabinet and got a big bottle of this captain morgan. I think I drank like 6 or 7 shots and I was tore up. But Khloe only drank one shot, so she was probably buzzed at best. Well, late into the party, we we're on the couch playing Black Ops:2 and seriously, out of nowhere she just started kissing me, tongue an all. And my sister is insanely, outrageously hot. So obviously I kissed her back. Then she took her shirt off, and I picked her up and carried her to our dads room. We fucked. Hard. For like an hour and a half. With what seemed like, absolutely no regard for our sibling status. I mean she sucked me off, swallowed and licked up the rest. And after we finished, she passed out. Now, its been 5 days since that happened, and I cant tell if she remembers it. She gives me these weird looks every now n then, that look like of flirty. But idk if its my mind playing tricks on me. And the last thing I wanna do is ask her.

here are a few pics of her.

Looking for a mainstream movie I saw many years ago where I nun gets fucked on a boat by a really dodgy boat captain. I could have sworn Karen Allen was in the film but an IMDB search reveals nothing. The nun getting fucked was blonde and petite.

My confession is that I seriously wanna fuck my best friend. She fuckin hotter than hell. I love jerking my hard cock off to her everyday and cumming while looking at her pictures. She my high school cheer captain, bestfriend, and the biggest cock tease ever. I just wanna luck those tight pussy lips and play with those hard nipples everyday if my life. Sadly I'm married and only 18 so I haven't had much chance to live. Good thing my wife wants to fuck her too because she let's me say her name in sex only because I pound her harder and harder. I got more of her if u wanna see.