Some people call me a hero, I have no problems with that. It helps with the ladies when you say you've rescued people, saved lives, made a real difference in the world. They lap that shit up like puppies with milk. I don't do it for the pussy, and I don't do it for the accolades. Truth is, right now, I don't know why I do it.

There's a scene in the new Superman movie, and Superman's mum says "save the world if you want, or don't do anything if you don't - you don't owe them a damn thing". I've been thinking about that line recently, ever since I saw the trailer. I've lived my life by the Uncle Ben philosophy, that with great power comes great responsibility. There's something noble about using your gifts to save lives, there's a sense of moral obligation when you are as massively well-endowed as myself. I've lived my life according to that philosophy for as long as I can remember, but now, I'm tired.

You might wonder what I do that makes me so great. So I'll tell you. I'm a gigolo, a male prostitute. I'm one of the best in the business. I make women come, and come hard. I make women get in touch with their bodies and orgasm like a slut. I give them my time and and concern, and in return, they give me a lot of money. So I'm rich beyond my lifestyle, and I have a fulfilling job that makes people happy. No one gets hurt, it's all happy smiles and laughter.

But lately, I've been thinking that there must be more to life. I live in the shadows, basically. At parties, when people ask me what to do, I'm momentarily speechless, and then I lie. I tell them I do charity work, build homes in 3rd world countries and shit like that. I lied like that so many times that I actually started going out to do it, just so I knew what I was talking about. And now that's my life. I build homes for dirt-poor communities, hook them up with solar power for heating and water. I love it, it's rewarding in a way that's socially acceptable. I've pretty much stopped my prostitution business except for a few long-term clients who wouldn't be able to cope without my visits.

But even then, it's hard to do this for the rest of my life. So I've decided to be Batman. I want to run around town in a hood and cape and beat the crap out of evil-doers. I'm rich enough to mod my car into the batmobile. Does anyone want to join me?

IM BATMAN.

Since I was nicely asked not to post links of illegal uploads to reveal them to the mods on this site, I will respect that, even though I did enjoy all the responses.
But seriously, is there an email address I can directly report these findings? I have in the past tried to follow protocol by hitting the report button with no results. Just tonight I have discovered at least three illegal uploads and reported them, but I fear it will go unnoticed. Just trying to help.
Signed, The BATMAN!

I confess......i AM Batman.

I confess that years ago, I met a chick at the bar where I was working and she gave me her number. We hooked up the next day. She asked me my name, and I told her it was Bruce Wayne (like fucking Batman).

She goes, "That doesn't seem right," but kept calling me Bruce anyway. I fucked her up the ass and then we went to bed. At some point during the night, I woke up to hear her saying, "I love you" to me. I was like, fuck it, just pretend to be asleep.

Next morning, she sucked me off and I shot a load all over her face. Couldn't get rid of her fast enough. Never heard from her again, but her boyfriend did come into the bar and started crying, telling people I took his girlfriend.

Frankly, I think they deserved each other.

I have always fantasized about women kidnapped and tied up. It probably started with the old "Batman" TV show, then police shows with sexy young victims. Back then, we didn't have serial killers, we had psychopaths. I would check out the TV Guide for that word, hoping to see some young lovely abducted, tied, and helpless.

As the years went on, I discovered detective magazines, with their bondage covers and lurid headlines: "Let's Rape the Girl Next Door!" The mix of the fear and helplessness of the victims, and the fact that they almost never got away alive, mixed together to turn my fantasies darker. I especially enjoyed strangling, but also liked hanging and bagging. The idea that you could stop, let her get her breath, then resume the fun, prolonging her agony indefinitely really turned me on.

I tend not to like scenarios with female assailants, only because I like to imagine myself in that role. I also generally don't like more than one attacker, for the same reason. I'm a solitary predator, and I'm selfish about keeping my prizes for myself.

holy ass, batman

Holy Fuck Toy, Batman!

its batman

Mark Zuckerberg has been cast as Lex Luthor for the upcoming Superman vs. Batman. let the rage flow you haters. he and Affleck, under zack snyders vision, make a fine assittion to the dc universe.

Batman titties