sometimes i wonder why relationships with previous girls haven't worked out.

was it me? was it her? was it the timing or where i was at mentally? why does it even bother me? why do i let it stop me from falling in love?

i've had good experiences and bad ones. i've hung around gay people just to test the waters and allowed myself into certain situations which i knew would leave me vulnerable. i felt i grew from these experiences but actually, it's made me feel empty. i've dated students, a nurse, a stripper, a medical doctor, a girl that was allergic to condoms, girls online n i've been in drunk and sober threeways.

these people have been in my life intimately and know me in ways that no one else does but, now, when i look at it - as i approach my mid 20s, i look at these past relationships with an ounce of sadness n disgust in myself. i recall a violent relationship, a deep relationship and the last one, my first love.

will the next girl i date feel special? will i think that we've got something special going on? has my past relationships n companions made it impossible for me to feel again? has the things i've done affected my morals and beliefs? i once had limits. now, i just look at people like they're emotions that can either make me happy or sad. they're not people anymore. they're just objects to use.

maybe it's safe to say that no future intimate relationship will ever happen. not a happy one with me.

end of the text.

I'm very private & discreet. I like some nasty, wild, & exciting fun. I like Gay/bisexual men &/or woman, Transsexual, & Crossdressers if you actually look like a woman to be my bottom & let me fuck the juices out that pussy. I'm a top (I don't get fucked). I love head & I would love to return the favor. I'm open to Threesomes (MFF, MFM, MMM, MTF, MTM, MTT) & Group Sex with couples. Love being dominant & in control. I get a thrill off the forbidden, sneeky, & thrill seeking sex. I also love making the Impossible possible & having something I never think I'll have. Now don't get me wrong, I'm all for a romantic setting, some 4-play, a lil role playing, especially if the woman is exotic & being enticing, I HAVE A Erotic, Flirtatious Nature. I'm kinky, nasty, ambitious, spontaneous, & tempting. I love Fun sex, wild sex, rough sex, I'm embracing my desires. I am what I am. I love what I love. Pornstar mentality & a open mind. I'm on a different level for some & too mature for most. I'm not judgemental & I try somethings at least once. I love to teach & be taught.

I confess that I have been liking when my girl plays with my asshole. I connect with this girl sexually, mentally, and every way imaginable more than anyone in my life.. it's amazing.. best sex I've ever had, no question (we're both 32 btw, if any interest). Lately when we're laying beside or on top of one another during foreplay and definitely during sex, she reaches up and massages my "grundle" area, and creeps her fingers up towards my asshole just the perfect amount.. just rubs it a bit, no penetration, but then massages all around it too.. feels AMAZING, yes I do confess! There's more to tell too.. do I play with her asshole at all? Hm, perhaps.. ;) Discuss..

Racists are Dumb
Study by the Journal of Psychological Science:

People who exhibit racism and prejudice may simply be dumb, according to a new study published in the Journal of Psychological Science. Children with low intelligence are more likely to hold prejudiced attitudes as adults, according to lead researcher Gordon Hodson of Brock University. Low-intelligence adults tend to gravitate toward socially conservative ideologies, which stress hierarchy and resistance to change, the study found, and those attitudes can contribute to prejudice. "This finding is consistent with recent research demonstrating that intergroup contact is mentally challenging and cognitively draining, and consistent with findings that contact reduces prejudice," he said.

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Mail Order Bride: My Experiences
This is probably going to be a long read.
I'm not sure if anyone on this site has delved into mail order brides, but if you've got the money and you're lonely - it's not the worst thing in the world to do. I've always had several fetishes for oriental and even Russian ladies. So after grieving for a few years after my wife left me for another woman (yes, that fucked with me in so many ways), I decided to try the dating scene. I'd make matches, sometimes even hook up with the lady but nothing really ever clicked enough for me to have a long term relationship with the women. It was date, fuck, on to the next. It got old fast and I was looking for something more, looking for a woman that was actually in to me. So one day I decided to try it.

The sign up fees are stupid and can range from $70 - $200 a month depending on the package you select. I figured I'd make quick work out of it and find someone I was interested in and exchange personal information with them. SO I signed up.
A lot of these girls look like 10/10 models - they all have professional pictures taken and I was like "well I just got scammed, they're all fake as fuck." Seeing all of these flawless women was a bit of a turn off for me - being in my late 40s, I knew I wasn't a bad looking guy but these women - all of them were way out of my league and I had my doubts, especially because I know a majority of them are after citizenship. I felt like I made a big mistake.
I contacted a couple of the ladies, usually didn't get a response. One day I logged in and this very attractive Filipino lady left me a message, just saying "Hi. Saw your profile."
I went to her profile and looked at her pictures, and just kinda shook my head.
I was talking to other women on there, but nothing really panned out. A lot of them barely spoke English.
So I chatted her up. I told her that we had an obvious age difference, and that I didn't know if she'd be comfortable with that. She replied back, "Most Filipina ladies like older men, it's kind of a cultural thing. I like older white men."
So we hit it off. We decided to exchange personal details and I called her up and we'd talk on Skype too. We'd laugh, joke, and just talk about everything under the sun - including her past relationships. She was engaged to be married but the guy got another woman pregnant and the marriage was cancelled. She talked about some of her boyfriends being abused and drinking all the time. She told me about her parents and how she moved out of the house at a young age and supports herself by having a masters degree in economics and works in Manilla and helps with city planning. We talked for months and months. We'd get intimate on Skype, she'd start fingering her pussy, moaning that she wished I was inside her.
"When are you coming, or should I come visit you?" she asked.
My heart raced. So I made plans to take off work for a week and fly out to the Philippines. It's a long flight and I couldn't even sleep - but when I got on the ground I got off the plane, and went outside the airport and called her. She was waiting for me and saw me standing by the road, and honked her horn. She got out of her car and ran up to me, gave me a great big hug and kissed me on the lips. Holy fuck she looked better than her pictures, she could have easily been a model. I loaded my luggage in her car and hopped in the passenger seat. I'm used to order, at least somewhat order - but driving in the Philippines scared the ever fuck out of me. It was very unnerving. From nice paved roads to roads cratered with massive potholes then to dirt roads - we finally made it to her small house that she was renting. We talked all the way to her place, I was so shocked I finally got to meet her - because I didn't feel like it would ever happen.
I was nervous and didn't want to push myself on her, I was worried that maybe I was ugly to her in person.
We got inside, and she made me feel right at home.
"You must be hungry! I cooked this yesterday for you, I'll heat it up, and I'll get you some tea!"
She spoke perfect English, with a small accent from Tagalog.
I told her not to worry. I felt a bit nervous - all the discussions we had, all the cybersex we had - I felt out of place.
She called me over to her small little kitchen table and had a plate prepared for me, with hot peppers, fish and some other ingredients. I have no idea what it's called (even to this day).
"You said you like spicy babe," she said smiling.
I took a few bites. My mouth was on fire, tears ran down my face.
"Holy fuck!" I said, "It's perfect."
She giggled, and her small firm chest bounced at bit. She caught me looking.
"Now now, there's enough time for that later. You still think I'm attractive right? I was so worried that you wouldn't think I'm attractive... "
I looked at her, "You're beautiful, absolutely stunning. Of course I'm attracted to you - physically and mentally. Hopefully I'm not ugly to you..."
Her eyes widened, "Oh, you're fucking hot dude, I'm still very interested in you!"
So we watched some TV, she obviously was horny, as I held her hand she guided me down her shorts to reveal a shaved and dripping wet pussy.
I haven't had sex in a long time. I didn't last long at all. Just how tight she was, how perfect her body was, and how beautifully she looked right into my eyes while I was inside her. I felt her touch my soul so deeply.
"I always imagined this moment, just like this..." she said, smiling.
"Oh, I thought I'd last a lot longer than I did, it's your turn to cum..."
She moaned as she played with my cum dripping out of her swollen pussy. Her fingers spread her dark brown pussy lips aside, showing a beautiful pink inside, as white dribbles of my sperm leaked onto her couch.
My mouth found her small supple tits, licking and sucking - I worked my way down to her dripping shaved pussy, and started massaging her clit with my tongue.
She moaned and grabbed a fist full of my hair, pulling me closer as her hips moved back and forth as I ate her out.
"I'll always be yours, I love you..." she moaned.
"I love you too," I said taking a quick breath.
She began to buck and moan, "Fuck..." she whispered, releasing my hair from her grip.
"I'm not going to want to leave you here," I admitted.
It got late, we ate dinner and went to bed. We fucked again before falling asleep.
We were to lovers who seemed obsessed. She took the week off of work so she could show me the sites around Manilla.
While she took me around to see the sites, something popped into my head - "just marry her already."
I went into a jewelry store by myself (she had errands to run) and got her a nice engagement ring.
The next time she took me out on the town, there was this big beautiful fountain (not sure of the name of it) and I got down on one knee.
"You bring so much life to me, my mind body and soul would ache without you being in my life, will you marry me?"
Her eyes widened, and she looked right into my eyes. There was an uncomfortable silence which seemed to last for an eternity.
"Of course I'll marry you!"
People around us clapped and congratulated us.
I didn't know how easy it was to get married in the Philippines. It's almost like Vegas but without Elvis overseeing your vows.
We fucked every single day, sometimes twice to three times in the same day. We discussed that she was going to quit her job and move with me to the USA. So I helped her pack a lot of her stuff in boxes and we mailed the boxes to my address. She talked to her landlord who owned the property and told them she was leaving at the end of the week, so she can move to the USA with her husband.
The landlord congratulated her and wished her well.
I've been married to her for 15 years and she is still the most amazing woman I've ever met in my life.
We've had 2 kids together and her body snapped right back into shape. She's as beautiful as ever. A timeless beauty. So yeah. Sometimes those crazy mail order bride sites actually work.

I confess that, years ago, I messed with a coworker so often that I may have caused some mental damage. I was in my low 30's and he was about 21 and was new at our firm. His name was Kenny. We became pretty good friends and would hang out from time to time. Not sure who instigated the pranks, but it was on. I guess I exploited his inexperience and was always one step ahead of him. One night, we were on my front porch and he reminded me of just how many things that I did to him. Most of them I had forgotten and have since forgotten again.
I do remember when he and I, along with another friend, went to a bar. We were playing billiards when a cute dishwater blonde came through the door. She sat at the bar and Kenny couldn't take his eyes off of her and continuously spoke of how cute she was. I went over to the bar and told her I needed a partner in a game of pool. So we played against the two friends. Kenny became even more intrigued with her. Later, she and I went back to the bar for a beer. Kenny naturally followed and stayed close to our conversation, although he couldn't hear it. I took advantage of his eagerness to join the conversation by fabricating flaws about him to her and then pull him into the conversation at the precise moment. For instance, I told her that he was a little slow and that he was in Special Education classes in high school because of those mental issues. I added that Mrs. Dothard was his Special Ed. teacher. At that moment, I turned to him and asked "Kenny, you know Mrs. Dothard don't you?". Again, his eagerness to join the conversation led him to lean in and reply "Yeah, yeah. yeah!". I went on like that for about an hour. When I told him the next day at work just what I was doing, he was both embarrassed and a little pissed.
I also remember that I would keep some candy on my desk at work and Kenny would go to my desk and eat some of it when I would leave the room from time to time. One day I sprayed some M&M's candy with hairspray, put it back in the opened bag and placed it on the filing cabinet. I pretended to go to the restroom, turned and walked back in the office. I caught him halfway from my desk to his, spitting out M^M's.
I introduced Kenny to a lot of classic rock and roll that he had never heard. So he liked to ride out to my place and listen to my albums. Only after 4:20. For you younger generation, music used to be recorded on vinyl discs called albums. I bought an album cleaning brush from Kenny. He placed a small sheet of paper in the brush case that read "FOOL", which was his nickname for me. I played an album the first night that I had the brush and found the note. He asked me every day at work if I had listened to an album the night before. I always replied "No, too busy". He followed me home one Friday after work to chill and listen to music. As we walked in the door, he tells me to put on an album. I made up something that I had to do first and for him to play one and I would play the next. I insisted he use the brush. When he did, he found my note that read "FUCK YOU".
I did other things, but I will end with this one. Kenny's car broke down and he needed to sell quickly. I gave him the name of a guy I know who owns a wrecker service, plus buys and sales used cars. Kenny contacted him and the wrecker guy offered him $400.00 dollars, sight unseen, for the car. Knowing the nature of the wrecker guy and how he would react, I told Kenny to call the guy back and tell him you want to shop the price. "He will offer you more money", I told Kenny. He did and the wrecker guy's response was "Good luck" and he hung up the phone. A month later, Kenny paid the same guy $100.00 to haul off the car.

I confess I found a friend's sex toy stash. We keep an eye on each other's places. I had found one or two before hidden by her bed and this time they were missing but there was a big box on her and her boyfriend's shared dresser. Looking inside I see SO much kinky shit. Bondage ropes and chains and soft cuffs, anal beads, clit massagers, and at least three dildos. I don't know if she always owned these and just organized them together or if she's got a crazy libido lately and has been trying out sex toys. Either way, the mental image of my friend getting bound and stuffed with all those toys is going to be featuring very prominently in my mind for the next week I'm sure.

There are some truly twisted and mentally unstable bastards writing shit on here. I commend you all. I'm so glad I'm not alone in my insanity.

Generic comment ; I am lazy
When primal anger, mental pain and hidden dammage , unlimmited hatred ,mindless lust and
total agression are forged together in the mind,
One will fight for survival with lustfull insainity and extreme cruelty and sadisme
As a man who tries not to give a fuck about the outside world, I turn into a primal beast,
that feels that as at least as it is within justified combat , a primal war,
all brutallity and lust are totally necessary ,overwhelmingly exciting

So this is all true. I had a hot married girlfriend. She is a tall, beautiful, brunette, natural big breasts. I guess I kinda owners her for a few years. Her husband was a nice guy but she was just out of control. She was mostly sweet and innocent but it didn't take much to get her sexed up. She would get drunk sometimes and go slutting around Vancouver, WA. She'd end up blowing some guy in a parking lot or her and her girlfriend would get a room with some guys and fuck all night. She'd call me in the morning and finally confess and apologize. I wouldn't let her go home and clean up, I always made her come over and fuck me too. It was mentally devastating to her when I would make her tell me every dirty thing that happened to her while I spermed in her over and over and told her she was my whore and asked her if she felt dirty with all that sperm from all those men up her. We would make up and cuddle afterward but this was the routine; she'd get drunk and fuck and I would punish her by raping her dirty little pussy and mouth. After a while when I got bored with of this and realized she was always gonna be a slut behind my back when she drank, I started taking on short errands with me and stop for lunch at our fav Mexican restaurant. She always had a margarita and a quick, private discussion with our server ensured that hers would always be extra strong and before we left another would appear for her. Then the fun would begin.
More later if there is any interest.