I confess I was air-dropped into the mountains of central Laos to find a suitable site for an airfield base. I scoured the mountainous, forested terrain on foot and finally found an ideal valley near the Plain of Jars.
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I confess, I spent the night with a Laos hooker and didn't get to fuck her because we couldn't agree on a payment.
On the way to my hotel she said she wanted 2000 Thai baht, I told her no way 1000/1500 baht is the going rate. I passed out anyway because we were partying hard that night, it was around 4am when we got back.
Next morning or a few hours later I woke up she was in bed next to me, she had no bra on but she was wearing panties, she was well cute tight as fuck, she was the best looking freelancer in the bar that night, in fact I had no intention bringing one home but she was too cute to say no too. Anyway I got into the spoon position woke her up by kissing her cheek and neck. I started licking her sucking her nipples, she had no tits, not tits at all just brown nipple that were like bullets.
I got her up and took her into the shower had a play around with her body with some soap I was rubbing my hard dick on her little ass, was tempted to blow my load over it. Took her to the bed then she brings up the 2000 baht. I'm like fuck that, I know I was pissed drunk but I remember telling you I'm not giving you 2000 baht in your car on the way here.
We had what I would call a light hearted argument over it, I said, sure we didn't even fuck , she said it didn't matter cause she spent the night. It was all smiles at this point, I picked up my jeans that lay there from I threw them off when I was drunk, pulled out my wallet and looked and Fuck! I blew my budget, I was there for 3 days and I blew nearly all my money on the 1st night. I said, listen I'll give you 1000 baht cause I spent nearly all my money in the nightclub last night.
She took it, and happy starting getting dressed and said that she will come back and see me later. She was getting ready to leave. I thought hang on a minute don't let her out of her without getting something I said wait a minute, sat on the bed next to her with my feet on ther ground I lay on the bed flat on my back. She knew what I wanted, she said you want a blow job? , I said yep, she got my dick in her hand she said ok but we use a condom I said ok fair enough, I don't want to bring anything home any way.
She begrudgingly sucked me off, her mood towards me started to change,as she was sucking me off I tried to feel her ass but she was pushing my hand away. She sucked me off until I blew my load such a release for me it was great.
Then my wife called me on facetime, she was wanting to check on me, i told her that was my wife you have to get out for a min, she said I'll go in the toilet I said no, she might want to look around I can't take a chance. She went out into the hall and I talked to my wife for a few minutes. I opened the door and she was still there. Brought her back in to say our goodbyes she said I won't come back to see you, I don't like you anymore. I laughed and said fair enough! That was fine be me, I was done!
One day in 'Nam, I was fighting dem vietcong in the jungle when all of a sudden they sprayed agent orange all over my part of the platoon. many men were instantaneously killed by dem chemicals, but I survived. With my right hand I wrested the machine gun from my good friend Bubba Jones and I took a beltful of grenades from my dismembered commander Dan, and I plunged into the jungle looking for vietcong to kill. i figured i had just inhaled a lethal dose of chemicals and i had not long to live, so what better way to live than to kill commies?
needless to say, i killed maybe a hunnered of dem bastards and got given a medal by the army for heroic services to america. I love america, and it didn't bother me that i came out of 'nam with permanently oranged skin. So got a desk job at the airport, checking visitors for drugs and hooch. I met this one really purty drug smuggler, she cried when i caught her and told me she'd do anything I wanted if I let her go, and then she took off all her clothes and proceeded to give me a blow job. But I pushed her away and sent her to the slammer, because nothing was gonna come into america and infect our american youths on MY WATCH!
But the pull of 'Nam was always too strong. So one day i flew back to Saigon, and boy had it changed. I set up an american burger joint in the middle of pham ngu lao and sold burgers to all the rich backpacker kids who wanted to slum it in asia on their gap year or off their parents money. they were always eager to hear a story from a real vet, and they thought my orange skin was intriguing.
There was this one girl, Anna, she was supposed to spend three months around asia, but she ended up three months in my bed. we fucked every night and every day, and when she left she had a little orange baby growing inside her. her parents were furious when they realised, and flew over to 'nam to fight me. But I was tough, and hit them both hard in the nuts. So they respected me, and gave me money to marry their daughter. Turns out they were heirs to one of the biggest fortunes in American history.
Years down the track, after id fucked anna a lot more and produced many more orange babies, i decided to run for government. I needed a compelling reason to do so, but I figured i have orange skin and a compelling backstory.
Guys, would you vote for me if I told you this story on national TV?
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