I'm trying to be less selfish this holiday season. Afterall, it is better to give rather than receive. That's from the Bible, the straight dope, if you will. Jesus, himself said that, well at least to hear Paul tell it, he did.

So instead of writing a letter asking for a bunch of material distractions that i don't need, I simply asked St. Nick (legitimate catholic saint, so suck it protestants! Santa eats the flesh and drinks the blood of our resurrected saviour, Jesus Christ, the carpenter. Yep, that's what he does right after he makes a full confession of his sins, those of thought as well as deed, before an OFFICIALLY SANCTIONED representative of Jesus' most holy Father. No!, not Joseph the carpenter, God, the father, of the "Father, Son and Holy Ghost" fame . . . Nail that to a door, bitches!) to leave a digital camera beneath the tree of every teenaged girl in the world as my present on Super-Happy-Funtime-Jesus-Day!

I just want to introduce the joy of personal photography into the lives of every nubile young woman alive. Afterall, a beautiful photograph is a gift that can be appreciated over and over, a moment frozen in time and digitally preserved forever, or at least until the coming zombie apocalypse foretold to mark the advent of Christ's triumphant earthly return brings our civilization to its knees.

Huh, you know, when I read that out loud, it sounds more crazy than when I think it silently to myself . . .

People of motherless I need your 'Advice'. I have recently managed to get my catholic girlfriend to put out. Now my fiancée is coming to live with me in Australia from Canada. I am looking for suggestions on the most humiliating way to dump the girlfriend. I don't have any pics otherwise I would simply print hundreds of copies and put them in every bible at her church and also hide them in weird places so that 30 years from now people still find them and be like oh that is that whore.

Can anyone come up with a better way that won't ruin my relationship with my fiancée?

My step d reading the bible

I gotta confess, seeing this pic brought back memories of my good friend Marks keg/pool parties he had nightly all summer long! The ladies out numbered us guys 4-1. I stood in more than one line myself. One friday one of the local sluts fucked 20 guys in a row. I was number 3. The next night i walked in marks room and last nights fuck meat was getting fucked Danny one of the guys that ran with us when he wasnt standing on a soapbox a beer in one hand and the bible in the other preaching a sermon. Anyway i closed the door behind me and got naked. I was standing at the foot of the bed fluffing it up and i say hey dan get her up on all fours and hit it from behind so i can get my dick sucked.hes like are you kidding me? This is my girl friend grab your clothes and get out. I had no idea she was his gf and she didnt act as if she had a bf. But oh well i put my banana hammock and jumped in the pool with a bunch of girls. I got one to take the bate. I got my hook in her mouth and reeled her in. I fucked her in my car. I found out the next day i was number 10 that night. Im glad i wore a rubber lol

Last night I had a most amazing experience with a very expensive call girl. A friend of mine recommended her, telling me that she will know what I went better than I do myself.

I am 58 years old, widowed, my children are grown up, and have cashed out pretty much all of my high tech investments in January of 2001 so I am doing pretty well in terms of finances and career.

Also before last night I never had sex with a woman other than my late wife - and we were both virgins when we got married. (We met at Bible Camp.) Anyway, I decided "Fuck my Calvinist upbringing!"

So she showed up at my hotel, we talked for a bit and then started making out. She was a gorgeous green-eyed brunette, long hair, breasts I would guess 36C. Beautiful breasts. She looked around 25.

And when I took off her dress and bra I could see and touch them they were beautiful, flawless, very nice to touch and nice to kiss. And I started kissing them and when I got to her nipples I took them in my mouth and gently sucked them as he held me to her breasts and it felt so good I just kept sucking them.

And then she started to talk to me like a child, saying things like "Yes baby, you need mommy don't you" and that felt very nice and at the same time very sexy and also a bit weird. And I stopped sucking her breast for a bit looked in her eyes and said in a little boy voice "I love you mommy". And she stroked my face and "I love you baby boy".

So I kept sucking her breasts and then started kissing my way towards her pussy and she stopped me and asked "What are you doing little boy?" and I said "Mommy I want to eat your pussy!"

And she made a stern face and told me that this is very wicked and wrong for little boys to do that - and then she put me over her lap and started spaking my ass for being so naughty. Spanking me with her hand, but pretty hard. Now I could have broken out of that if I wanted, but I felt like a little boy and I could not fight mommy.

She kept doing it until I actually started crying and saying "I am sorry mommy. I am sorry mommy". At the same time by this point I had an incredible erection.

And then she cuddled me and told me she knows that I am a good boy and that I learned my lesson. And she got some skin cream and put it on my ass and then sat up on the bed and cradled me so that I could suck her breasts again, and said "I can see your little cock is very hard. Do you play with it sometimes?"

And I said "Yes mommy" and I thought she was going to spank me again. But now, she said "You should never play with yourself, its a sin". And then she started stroking my cock as I sucked her breasts. Her hands were amazing, very soft and gentle.

And when I would get ready to cum she would slow down, and stroke my calls, and my stomach and nipples and thighs and then start start on my cock again. The overall sensation was amazing.

I finally blew my load and she said "I think you need a bath baby boy" and she actually gave me a bath, talking to me all the time like a child. She dried me off and brushed my hair and made sure I brushed my teethhelped me put my pjs on.

And she tucked me in and told me that its now time for bed and mommy must go and I must be a good boy and not turn the lights on and start playing. And I put my arms around her neck and said "Please stay with me mommy" and she said "I have an appointment tonight, but you call me and we will spend more time together". And she kissed me on the forehead and turned off all the lights - leaving the light on in the bathroom with the door open a bit so that I get some light and don't get scared, and left.

I fell asleep soon after, it was the best sleep I had in I don't know how long.

I am definitely going to call her again, and get her for the entire night.

Now I have never done anything like this with my wife. I never thought of this - but it was amazing - like my friend said, she seemed to know what I need better than I did.

Hey bible thumpers. Nasa apparently found proof of life on mars today. But wont make an official announcement till dec21st, so you gonna have to go ahead and add to your bible "on 2nd day god made life on mars".

Hi,

I'm Joe Christian. I'm going to tell you what to think, what to do, how to do it, why you need to do it, and where.

I'll use Jesus and God as my prop to get you to do what I want because it's a "sin" otherwise and you'll go to "hell" if you don't do what I want.

Then I'll sit here judging you meanwhile I'm masturbating furiously to all kinds of porn on the internet, meeting up with chicks on real life, and doing all sorts of sick twisted crap. I'll make you feel very very guilty and like shit for doing the same things I'm doing.

I'll flag, report, and ensure that people go to jail for porn, especially illegal porn.

Then I'll pray, repent, and be forgiven of all my sins while you... go to hell.

I confess that it's very delicious being better than all of you.

Thanks,

~Joe Christian Bible Thumper

I confess that one advantage of living in a rural town in the bible belt is the college age women get wild.

Last year hooked up with this little brunette anime loving early 20s church girl.

I had a couple JW missionary door knockers today. I haven't seen that since before the pandemic.  College age, both female, cute, wife was running errands so I invited them in. Lots of religious talk. Lots of bible quotes. I steered the conversation towards vice, corruption, money, and sex. Both admitted they'd had sex and weren't married, that it was a sin, more bible quotes about forgiveness. Call it a social experiment, or boredom, but I placed a few $20's on the table and asked if they ever thought about stripping. This in turn led to talking about temptation. $200 later I was staring at beautiful natural breasts. One easily D's, her friend probably B's. 5 minutes topless for $100 each, not bad. I had to pull more from the safe but I continued down this path. Convincing them to go full nude was easy, another $160 each. Eventually I offered another $300 each for oral. One agreed, her friend wasn't sure. We laughed that she could watch. The thing is I'm all about fingering and teasing them while they blow me. I suspected the friend might be into women, or might be into watching. So I tease B cup and with minimal effort she's already sucking. I give her friend the best view I can. A few hand squeezes, my hand on her leg, then fingering, took a few but she came around. All said and done they left with $800 each after lots of teasing, fingering, sucking and fucking. D cup swallowed, so much for just watching. Living room smelled of sex after they left. Had to open windows (it Fall so it's 40 out). I lit scented candles. Finally I closed up and lit the fireplace. Wife got home and complained about how smokey it was, told me to close the glass. Bitch is clueless...

I confess ever since my wife became a born-again christian and I lean more pagan I find myself getting more dominant and rough with her during sex. she's never liked anal but now i require it and even remind her the bible says to obey your husband when i fuck her tight little ass and cum in it. I play satanic black metal on the stereo during sex and the urge to slap and bruise her and make her cry during sex is growing inside me and I am starting to enjoy hate-fucking my own wife.

i confess that life is short and if you are on this site you are wasting it. god is real and you will meet HIM? READ THE BIBLE???REPENT AND TURN TO CHRIST SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO BURN!!!