Rule #1:
No matter what, there cannot be any link between you and the victim, so no, that hot new neighbor is not an option.
Hookers are usually the easiest targets, but they can be full of diseases, so is up to you if you want to stick your wiener in them.
It's allways better (and healthier) to pick a random girl from another town, basically, someone who isn't connected to you in any way.
An exception to this rule is a hot co-worker. as long as she isn't in your department, or if you only see her sporadically (Like the boss secretary or something)

Rule #2:
Once the victim is chosen, the right moment is allways critical. Follow her a few days, learn her patterns and choose the right moment wisely (Usually by night).
The tools for this subject are also very important. Most rookies believes that the fear is enough to subdue a bitch, but fear can make fucktoys umpredictable. A surprise attack is allways better. For the kidnap itself, is better to have a van with no windows, but any car with a big trunk can do the trick. Chloroform is relatively hard to find, and is not as effective as in the movies. It's better to zap the victim with a tazer or choke-hold them, take he rinto the van and while she's still shocked or unconscious, force her to swallow some roofies (any local dealer can provide). The technique is easy, put the pills in her mouth, then cover mouth and nose with your hands. Once she has taken the pills, zap her or choke her again and handcuff or tie her arms to her back, gag her and make sure to also tie her feets (the best way is the hogtie, for it will prevent her of any scape and also prevents her for starting to kick and make noises. The pills can take almost 30 minutes to kick in, so you need to tie her up and gag her as soon as possible. Once in your possession, you can be a little touchy if you want (while the pills still on the process), but don't take too long, you don't want to call any attention. And make sure to ditch her phone (nowadays, cellphones are like trackers)

And this goes without saying, but for the love of whatever deity you believe in, make sure that the vehicle of your choice has any flaws (broken lights, or stuff like that) You don't want to be stopped by police, right?

Rule #3:
Where you should do your job depends on if you have a family or if you're single.
-For singles: It's better to take her into a room that you previously prepare. Plastic sheets in the floor to avoid leaving any evidence, and walls that are sound proof. There are materials at sale for this, but if you can't afford them, cardboard egg cups can be used too (A lot of supermarkets and restaurant throw away dozens of egg cups a day, so the room can be prepared in a matter of days). You can allways install your PC in that room, and use the excuse of being a "streamer".
-For married people: Your choices are two. 1) Buy a small shack (or even a second house) if you can afford them. Since most of us cannot afford them, 2) take the risk and go to a remote place to do the work. In that case, prepare your van as indicated in "singles". If you don't have a van, go to that remote place, take her outside and do the job. Once finished, take the body back to your car (NEVER LEAVE A BODY WHERE YOU KILLED IT, your cum is all over the place, dummy)

Rule #4
Get rid of the body. No body means no crime has ever happened, so forget about having your own personal sex slave. If you wanna keep trophies, it's better to use disposable phones to take pictures or record videos (Don't use your personal phone).
To properly get rid of the body, is allways better to cut it in several parts. A steel saw is the most effective tool for the job, easy to handle, and more precise and less expensive than the chainsaw. Before putting any parts inside trash bags, it's advisable to wrap them in plastic, to prevent any accidental leak. Throw away the parts either on the sea (where the ocean currents will take them away, perhaps forever) or incinerate them in a steel foundry. If any of those options aren't availables, you can allways throw the pieces in a abandoned well or bury them, but make sure the place you toss them are far way from your home.
The exception of this is when you have to do the job in the middle of no-where (as adressed in the previous section "married"). You don't have the time and privacy for a dismembering, so you have to get rid of the entire body as one piece. Your better choice is to toss the body into a river or the sea, and the water will rid off any evidence you could have left. Once again, make sure to put as much distance as possible between wherever you toss the body and your home.

Rule #5
Once everything is over, you have to clean the place where you did the job and also the vehicle that you used. Even as much care you put in, there's allways a possibility to leaving evidences, so you can't never be too careful.




And that's about it, folks, a guide for the perfect murder for dummies. What do you think? Did I leave some techniques or advices out of this? Is something that you don't agree with?
Don't be afraid about changing or improving any rule on this post.

From the deepest pits of hell that is my soul.